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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dress my son in elsa dress for frozen party

20 replies

maria1113 · 13/07/2017 21:39

My young son cannot yet say 'I want' but whenever his older sister goes to put on her fancy dress dresses, he fetches another and thrusts it at me, begging to wear it. I always let him wear whatever he likes at home, and have posted pics of him playing in these dresses online to our friends, not at all secretive about the fact we find it cute and funny.

We are due to go to a party soon with a frozen theme, I know our son will love to wear a dress as many of the other children there will of course be in elsa or anna dresses.

I can't find a boy version of an elsa or anna outfit, and I'm not very handy with a needle and thread. Also, the moose and snowman outfits are all covered in faux fur or heavily padded, not exactly ideal for a summer garden party when they'll be running around non stop.

The mil can't cope with him cuddling a baby doll, and makes comments "why are you playing with that dolly again". I tried to stick up for ourselves by saying "yes he's getting some good practice at being a good daddy" and "the kind of relationship he knows best is how a parent and baby interact" she will be there for the party.

Do I let him be elsa as I know he will enjoy it and get a polite but firm comeback ready for anyone who criticises...

Or is it going to scream "trying to be controversial" and should i tailor his fancy dress to something less conspicuous (I.e. a not-fun-at-all blue tshirt) whilst big sister shows off in her big blue glittery fire hazard.

In my mind im trying to show him from a young age that he has freedom to wear/play with/be whatever makes him happy and he should never fear our judgement. Could this be misconstrued as some sort of conditioning or is mine the moral high ground? Thanks, x

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 13/07/2017 21:42

If he enjoys wearing it then let him wear it. If he's uncomfortable then have a back up plan ready.

People like your MIL who think boys shouldn't play with dolls etc (usually because it will make them 'soft' or 'gay') do my head in. Your response is great re preparing to be a great daddy. Grin

Vicsteur81 · 13/07/2017 21:42

I'd absolutely let him wear the dress! If that's what he wants and if comfortable in then let him enjoy it. It's no one else's business.

peachgreen · 13/07/2017 21:42

I get the feeling that your desire to wind up your MIL is more at play here than anything else... it's not like your son is begging you to let him wear this dress to this particular party and while I definitely believe kids should have the autonomy to make choices for themselves, even if those choices don't conform to socially accepted standards, I think YABU to essentially make the choice for him. He wants to dress up in the dress but he hasn't expressed a wish to wear that dress to a party in front of lots of other kids and parents and face the potential backlash.

peachgreen · 13/07/2017 21:44

Having said that, come back when he's old enough to express his specific wish to wear a dress to a fancy dress party and I'll be 100% saying to go for it!

Sirzy · 13/07/2017 21:46

If he was asking to wear it then I would. But if he is too young it just looks like your using him to make some sort of point

DartmoorDoughnut · 13/07/2017 21:50

I don't see the harm in it, he just wants to be like his big sister, if he's happy and you've got your awesome comebacks to hand crack on!

hiyerr · 13/07/2017 21:53

I simultaneously agree with points from all your responses, for now I will continue to support his panto dame moments at home and let's face it, I'll probably be too disorganised to prepare any outfit anyway!

JemimaCuddleFuck · 13/07/2017 21:55

This is Mumsnet so you will be emphatically told that he must wear the Elsa dress at all costs.

In the real world, he'll wear the dress to the party and the other parents there will look like this Hmm

But it's up to you.

hiyerr · 13/07/2017 21:56

He's 2. I did see aN olav bodysuit on etsy that i could have popped some shorts with but too small sizes unfortunately. Links to alternative outfits welcome if anyone has ideas but nothing too sweaty x

DangerMouse17 · 13/07/2017 21:56

Sounds like you're enjoying the controversy really. Most kids want to wear the same as a sibling.

If he wanted to go to the party in his underpants, would you let him do so for the sake of freedom? Dress your DS appropriately for the party like other parents, and let's stop using our children to try and make a point.

babybubblescomingsoon · 13/07/2017 21:59

Big blue sparkly fire hazard Grin love it haha.

Let him wear it. He likes it. It's practical. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks!!

WineIsMyMainVice · 13/07/2017 22:00

Let him wear it!

blackteasplease · 13/07/2017 22:01

Let him wear the Elsa dress if e wants to. Perhaps see what he pulls out of the fancy dress box on the day.

My ds (now 3) loves wearing a dress. He likes other kids of fancy dress too and also a dinosaur shirt depending on the day.

My dd loved being a pirate when she was that age and no one suggested I shouldn't let her.

Just go with the flow of what they want in my opinion. And, yes, have some responses ready for MIL.

I do slightly dislike princess dresses for both sexes because they are such a trip.hazard and a fire hazard. But I do let my kids weat them which sounds v irresponsible when put like that!

LoupGarou · 13/07/2017 22:02

Could you show him some websites with Frozen party wear on and get him to point to which one he wants? That way you'll know its his choice.

I would say go for it otherwise, DS often has painted nails and wears dresses and high heels, he also loves camo and toy guns, if he likes it who cares other than those with internal prejudices? If anyone says anything, ask in an icy voice if there is a problem.

If they persist tell them you think it important he does what makes him happy rather than sacrifice his happiness to fit in with what other people think, and tell them it sets a very bad precedence for standing up to peer pressure, bullies etc.

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2017 22:03

How old is he? If he's too young to express an opinion then you're not doing it for him; you're doing it for you...

chickensatay · 13/07/2017 22:04

I wouldn't. I would personally get him a top like this and pop it on with a nice pair of smart blue shorts. You could take a dress and if he really wanted it on during the party I'd let him but I wouldn't take him in it.

to dress my son in elsa dress for frozen party
Sparklingbrook · 13/07/2017 22:05

If he says he wants to then let him wear it. If he hasn't said then don't.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 13/07/2017 22:10

He doesn't sound old enough to be bothered by any negative comments, I'd go for it. The Halloween before last, DS2 decided he wanted to go trick or treating and to a party as a witch, in what was definitely a sparkly dress. I warned him that some people might say unkind things, but he was adamant. One elderly woman called him a lovely girl, which he took as an insult, I pointed out that he was wearing a dress. Hmm DD's friend asked why he was wearing a dress, she said: "Because he wants to." I was so proud of her. 😆

TheForgetfulCat · 13/07/2017 23:09

Not sure of his age but at my DDs Frozen themed sixth birthday party, her friend very much enjoyed wearing the Anna dress he had requested from his mum. A good time was had by all Grin

I'd let him get on with it. If he can express an opinion try and consult him but if he can't enjoy wearing a big blue sparkly fire hazard at his age, when can he?

ZoeWashburne · 13/07/2017 23:18

Any adult who judges a toddler for wanting to dress like their favourite Disney film needs their head examined!

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