Not going to an evening reception after rvsping yes?

[sailorcherries]

OH and I were invited to a uni friend's (of mine) evening reception and we rsvpd yes.

The wedding is taking place about 1 hour drive away, but would cost upwards of £80odd in a taxi each way as it isn't a good route.

When we were invited we didn't have funds to book a hotel or b&b, we assumed it wouldn't be an issue as there are 3 premier inns, 2 travelodges and at least 15 hotels within a 10 minute drive radius.

Tonight we took to the internet and have discovered a major sporting event taking place during that time, in the same town as the wedding (not football, tennis etc but a sport with a lot of spectators). The only two hotels we've found have had rooms for over £300, which we cannot afford. We can find nothing, not a hotel or b&b with availability within a 20 mile radius.

It's getting to the point where we might not be able to to as a result. We cannot afford over £160 in taxi fares there and back plus drinks and outfits (I am 7 weeks post partum and my old clothes don't fit). If we cannot find anywhere we cannot go, or we could but one of us would need to drive there and back.
Would it be unreasonable not to go? We could, technically, still get there but the lack of overnight accommodation is putting us off.

[NameChangingForObviousReasons]

Are *not+ looking that practical, meant to say.

[TwoFs]

If your friends all live down that way, can't you ask one of them to put you up for a night?

[youarenotkiddingme]

I'd go. I also hate driving late at night on roads I don't know.

But there's no way I'd use that as an excuse not to go to something if I genuinely cared for the people I was visiting.

[Fergus425]

When is the wedding?

Is it tonight?

[Fergus425]

By the way, who does RSVP for evening dos???

I did.. I needed to know numbers for the catering.

[Venusflytwat]

"There is nothing as annoying as a drunk passenger"- WTF?? Why does anyone have to get drunk?? Just go, one drive each way, have A drink early in the evening and no more, other person has another 1 or 2 and then YOU CAN STOP DRINKING YOU KNOW.

Honestly is life always this difficult for you? I can't believe two adults with driving licences are even contemplating making your presumably not that young father do four hours of driving on dark country lanes so they can both get drunk. I'm honestly staggered.

It's time to grow up.

[2014newme]

Don't go then

[UpYouGo]

Have to agree with Venusfly, even though they're a lot more blunt than I would have been

I get the being a nervous driver, lots of people are (even though it gets lots of eye rolling on here!) But neither of you need to get 'drunk'.

In your situation DH would drive and not drink (maybe just one when we arrived) because it's not his event or friends. Then we would just drive home, no drama.

No one needs to get wasted and carried back to the car. With DH pulling over on dark country lanes while you throw up at the roadside.

[TheRattleBag]

When we were invited we didn't have funds to book a hotel or b&b

Why didn't you book somewhere that didn't need prepayment? There are many hotels. B&Bs etc on booking.com and the like which don't demand prepayment, and many are cancellable just in case plans change.

[Matilda1981]

If it's due to silverstone you can stay at mine 😂😂 not sure what sporting event is near to the wedding but let me know!!

[Doobigetta]

Your excuses are crap, and it would be rude to use them. I'd suck it up and drive. Yes, it won't be quite as much fun, but you haven't got much choice. But if you really don't want to go, just say the baby hasn't been all that well and you don't want to leave him.

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

Oh don't worry about it. Just call and say you can't make it. If it's s typical evening invite it'll cost them somewhere between £5-10 for finger food that will be available to other people anyway.
Where are you leaving the baby and have you left him/her before? When I had a 7 week old there's no way I could muster up the energy to dress up for a big night out. Good luck!

[EastMidsMummy]

What an odd post. You can't drive for 60 minutes??

[beekeeper17]

If you really wanted to go, then just drive, especially as you're only going for the evening, seems a bit of an expense for taxis or a hotel just for an evening. I'm sure your OH is perfectly capable of driving on a road he's never driven on before.

But if you don't really want to go, then I wouldn't stress too much about it. You have a young baby which can be a good excuse to get out of things! Just say that the baby has been quite unsettled and you don't feel comfortable leaving the baby.

[sailorcherries]

Venus thank you for partially reading and quoting my post. As you'll see I did say we'd both drive. I also wouldn't have one drink and then drive, we just wouldn't drink.
As for the drunk passanger comm

[sailorcherries]

As for the drunk passanger comment, OH has bladder issues and if he drinks too much (alcoholic or non alcoholic) he pees almost every 20 minutes. While drunk he takes longer. I fall asleep and, at that time of night, it would make a miserable passanger.
No one is getting wasted and throwing up.

The pre-payment was due to payment on arrival being more and cancellation policies.

I never asked my dad nor am I considering it. He's also younger than half of the forum users here, to stop wild assumptions.

If I genuinely didn't want to go I wouldn't rsvp yes. I have a newborn, i hardly need any other excuses. I also wouldn't buy an outfit or make childcare arrangements.

[RadioGaGoo]

NameChanging

Surely you RSVP an evening to gauge how much food you may need to provide.

[RadioGaGoo]

Oh. I missed a whole page . Ignore me.

[RestingBitchFaced]

You obviously just don't want to go, and are looking for excuses. It wouldn't be that big a deal for one of you to drive.
Don't go, but them them know asap so they can ask someone else. When is it?

[eurochick]

You have an excuse for every solution someone suggests. You obviously don't want to go.

If I'm wrong and you do want to go. Just drive and stop making such a meal of it. It's only an hour away!

[sailorcherries]

And as I said, both OH and I will look again today and if not we'll drive.

I didn't realise that:

1. Rsvping yes
   
2. Getting a card and gift
   
3. Arranging childcare
   

And 4. Buying an outfit

Meant I never wanted to go in the first place and now would look for wild excuses not to go.

We can't get a hotel; taxis are too expensive; OH doesn't know the country roads and is unsure of driving them in the dark; I am anxious driving them due to previous issues and we don't want my dad driving. None of those are silly excuses, if I didn't want to go I'd say "sorry no childcare" and that would be that.

[wondering23]

I think you ought to go. I appreciate you have reasons for wanting to back out but they are mainly things you could have already thought of before replying or could have organised better. You RSVP'd yes and the bride and groom have made arrangements based on your response.

You don't know how much the bride and groom will have spent per evening guest. I got married last year and our evening food was £14 per head and we had a free bar (wedding at home so we stocked it ourselves and not all booze on a sale or return basis), so say around £40 per couple depending on how much they would have had to drink. We had 3 couples that didn't turn up, so that was £120 wasted. I know it's not a lot in the cost of a wedding, but that's not the point.

Also, I do think they will notice that you are missing - we did. It also won't reflect on you very well amongst your uni friends if you don't turn up when you were expected to be there. Think how awkward it will be the next time you organise a meet-up.

If I was you I'd go along, one if you stay sober to drive and the other just have one or two drinks to a) keep the driver company if everyone else at the wedding is plastered and b) offer a bit of support negotiating the drive home.

[cushioncovers]

Yanbu just let the couple know before hand as they may have other people to invite

[Fleshy]

Don't go, it's only an evening invite, not the actual ceremony or reception, it's too much of a pain in the hole just to stand about for a few hours.