Baby care in the 60's and 70's

[Zofloraqueen27]

I am a regular lurker on MN and really enjoy reading about how different life is today from when my babies were born. I am a devoted grandma (and to be a great (!) grandma in August).

Having a baby today seems so much more involved now. I am amazed when I read "the baby will only sleep on me", "cluster feeding" and having your baby constantly attached to you with slings.. and what is this "co sleeping"? You brought your baby home from hospital (where most were born) after a four/five restful day stay where babies were taken to a nursery after last 10pm feed to give new mums a nights sleep.

Once home you immediately carried on the feeding regime started in hospital of feeds at 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm. Babies were settled for the night and you hoped they would sleep through to 6am feed. Obviously feeding during the night if the baby woke up, otherwise it was back to the 6am onwards regime. Most babies were bottle fed then.

After feeding, changing and a cuddle babies were put back into their cot to await next feed. Obviously as they grew older and became more awake and interesting they were put into bouncy chairs but otherwise mums would put babies back to sleep. This way babies learned cot means rest/sleep.Cluster feeding was an unknown concept then and generally babies followed four hourly feeds. My health visitor advised me to start giving baby rice or a Farley's Rusk along with bottle feed when the baby got to 10lbs...my sons were all 9.5lbs born so weaning started around six weeks then.

Baby gros were a revelation by the time my second son was born and babies stayed in them day and night until about six months old -easy to wash and no unnecessary dressing babies up (much less laundry) as today. I see tiny babies dressed as mini adults now. It seems mums today have a much harder time of it - never putting a baby down to rest and be quiet, always having to be comforted by carrying around.

We managed with far less baby equipment too - though we did not have the luxury (or expense!) of disposable nappies. The way we raise our children varies from generation to generation following trends and fashions but I have to say it seemed a lot easier when I had mine. I wonder what the trends will be when babies of today become parents and today's mum watch in wonder.

This whole "oh we were so relaxed about our children before " is as old as the hills".

My mother says this and to some extent it is true about her child-rearing; she was very good. But I also remember her sobbing with exhaustion and worry. My grandmother (born around the year 1900) was a complete germophobe and generally quite hysterical around baby-rearing. So, I am told, was dh's grandmother.

People tend to remember the end results and forget the journey it took to get there.

"Note that this "demise" (I think you mean "heavy decline") of breast-feeding did not happen in all Western countries: breastfeeding has remained normal in Scandinavia, despite home births being very rare."

In Norway breastfeeding rates were as poor as ours in the 1970's. They banned the advertising of formula and looked long and hard at how to encourage and support breastfeeding to get their rates to where they are now. We could learn a few lessons from them.

"No-one told me how he was. I was in hospital for 10 days, during which time I was only allowed to look at him through a glass window. No doctor ever spoke about him, when I asked they would just say "he is fine". By the time I left hospital I had never been closer to him than 3 feet. "

I've got an old birth book I found in a charity shop, written by a midwife. It describes babies born by forceps being 'cot nursed' for days, when nobody was allowed to hold or cuddle them, least of all the mother. The idea was to allow the baby to rest and recover from the birth.

She describes one hospital as being very advanced because they put these babies next to the mother in wheeled cots, but the women are still not allowed to touch them. Can you imagine? having your crying newborn right next to you but when you reach out to hold them some bossy midwife comes and tells you to stop?

I think Mothers now have so much information about child development and psychology that they've adapted behaviours as society has realised what is/isn't important.

MIL maintains that breastfeeding is unnecessary and attention-seeking; her own DCs both thrived on bottles. We've realised over the last 10-15 years how vital it can be for some babies and I breastfed both of mine without giving it any thought; it just worked for us despite her displeasure (the contrary part of me quite liked her hens-arse-mouth each time they fed). She also advocates letting babies cry themselves to sleep, which we now know isn't acceptable. As our understanding changes and adapts, each new generation adapts, too. But those older generations who did things their way think "look at this new-fangled nonsense". Some people's recollections of 'the good old days' really don't sound that good. Letting babies scream simply because it wasn't time for them to be picked up sounds miserable as sin.

I had DS1 in 1994. I knew absolutely nothing about babies, I don't think I'd ever held one. I bought a Mirriam Stoppard book. I was an educated, professional young woman. I intended to do this baby thing right.

I was absolutely determined to breast feed. Unfortunately my book recommended starting with one minute on each side every few hours and gradually building up from there. Of course DS wanted a lot more feeding than that, midwives and health visitors were absolutely useless and my own mum, who had formula fed me to a strict timetable, made lots of pithy remarks like, "he can't possibly be hungry again; you only fed him two hours ago" and "he can't be getting enough milk or he wouldn't be wanting to feed so often". I also ended up with totally shredded nipples and my book insisted to me that nipple sheilds were the work of the devil.

I'm pretty sure I had some form of pmt over it all.

Anyhow, I got the nipple shields, breastfeeding became okay at around six months, and with my subsequent three babies I felt I really knew what I was doing and it was a doddle. But really, I feel like I taught myself; there was a real lack of good information and support and even basic knowledge.

"Unfortunately my book recommended starting with one minute on each side every few hours and gradually building up from there"

The day that someone successfully sues a healthcare professional/maternity nurse/nanny for damage done to them/their baby by poor advice, is the day people start to take breastfeeding support seriously in the UK.

I was raised according the rules of Spock. I was left to cry for hours. My mum said that Spock suggested that if the baby wasn't hungry, didn't have a dirty nappy or a nappy pin sticking into it then it should be left. She would turn the radio up really out so she couldn't hear me scream.
I have attachment issues.

I think we just chat about it more. Even in the 80s my mum's friends didn't really talk to each other about sleeping/feeding/schedules, they could have all done things in entirely different ways for all they knew. There definitely were people carrying their babies around all day, co sleeping, feeding on demand at the breast etc - I've heard many stories from my Gran about my 'fussy' uncle as a prime example. I think a digital age where we can easily talk in abundance about raising our babies might just make it seem like things are different.

I really enjoyed reading OP comment. I find it interesting and I'm in the throws of it with a 12 week old. I haven't took offence.
Thanks for sharing. Love hearing things like this. Love listening to my mum. She was classed as a geriatric mother aged 33 and hospitalised at the end of her pregnancy due to her age. She breastfed me despite the hospital advising against it. She said it was not the norm then and she was the unusual one in the hospital ward.
And it will be interesting to see how things change and develop again when my daughter's give me grandchildren all being well.

I think now the demand feeding thing has become over the top. There are many reasons why babies cry, hunger being only one of them. It is extremely common for mothers to interpret the tired cry for hunger. If your baby is of a normal weight, no health or feeding issues, there is absolutely no reason for your baby not to be able to go three hours between feeds. But good full feeds though, not this little and often hopping on and off that I see so often now. DC 1 was breast fed on three hour feeds, he was happy and slept through very quickly.
DC 2 in special care, couldn't bf at all (no suck) and he was put on three hourly feeds by tube (of my expressed breast milk) which carried on when he came home. There was no starving or thirst involved, ever. I think we pander far too much to children these days and it starts right from when they are born.

I also don't understand the obsession with 'wearing' your children. It's like a new fashion, and the slings cost a fortune. It's hot and encourages the children to be clingy and dependent. Just put them in a pushchair! Everyone will be more comfortable all round!

frizzy stop being goady.

Pregnancy, birth and childcare weee medicalised in the 50s and 60s by usually male doctors. Attachment theory started in the 50s so it was known about the importance of keeping baby close back then but I doubt medical professionals were educated in this (most aren't now). Formula was pushed upon doctors and midwives by the company reps. It was easier to monitor how much any was getting so made professionals's lives easier. Women were made to lie on their backs during labour as it was easier for the person delivering the baby. The cord was clamped and cut immediately so that the midwife/Doctor souls remove the baby and examine them straight away and somebody else could deal with the mother. Most of those practises back then were to make the health care professional's lives simpler/easier.
I hope mental health improves with this new generation whose mothers are encouraged to hold their babies and know that they can't spoil their babies this way. Look at most countries around the world - they have their babies attached to them, breastfeed and cosleep just as nature intended.

Sorry excuse the typos - I should check before posting!! Hope that made sense!

My sons were born in the 70s, the eldest in 1971 and I don't recognise much of what you say. Mine were breastfed on demand, slept in my bed for the first six months, didn't wear baby grows all day after the first couple of weeks. In fact other than no disposable nappies nothing you say sounds like my life with babies in the 70s.

I have done a breastfeeding support course to be a peer supporter and isn't the demand feeding very much supposed to be for the new born phase up to about 8ish weeks to make sure BF is really established ?? My personal experience is all mine were demand fed but were all only wanting BF every 4 hours by 8 weeks? Unless ill or teething ?
I do see a correlation between current trend of Lack of routines / co sleeping with very hard to break sleep problems. My oldest (only 11) was born when Gina ford was really popular and she's really strict on routines and controlled crying. Bits of GF were a godsend for me though def not all of it though I know she's really frowned upon now and that's just in 10 years .
My youngest was very much an 00s attached baby and is currently way the hardest of the kids behaviour wise

My American friends are slightly horrified at how we do birth in the UK (usually midwife led, cots next to beds in postnatal wards, home births not uncommon) as it's so opposite to their norm (all doctor led, illegal to only have a midwife there in some states, hospital nurseries)

My formula fed babies fed more frequently than every four hours. I didn't time but I was conscious of if they went over say three hours when they were really tiny. They also cluster fed in the evening and they seemed to have the bottle in their mouth constantly from 5pm until about 9pm.

Bottle feeding changes feeding schedules.

My mother apologises to me for having allowed nurses to take me away so her milk dried up and enforcing formula on me.

I used cloth nappies on all 3 of mine.

I don't even want to talk about anything else so I shall just congratulate you on the impending great grandchild.

Perhaps the baby won't have random chemicals forced on them in the form of expensive unnecessary fake milk (unless her mother chooses it herself)

I have done a breastfeeding support course to be a peer supporter and isn't the demand feeding very much supposed to be for the new born phase up to about 8ish weeks to make sure BF is really established ?? My personal experience is all mine were demand fed but were all only wanting BF every 4 hours by 8 weeks? Unless ill or teething ?

Is that what your peer supporter course told you?

It depends on the baby. Some will fall into a four hourly routine. Some won't. My first fed two hourly right up until weaning at 6 months- although she only woke up once between 7pm and 6am. My second had fairly severe reflux until 18m and demand fed randomly and frequently until I got fed up and switched to formula at 14m.

Neither was wrong for not being 4 hourly. I always tell bfeeders that nothing is "wrong", if the baby is happy and thriving, and the mother is coping at the least, feeding pattern and routines (or not) are irrelevant. There is no right or wrong way to breastfeed.

cancer care and heart surgery is not the same as it was in the 60s either. You do the best you can with the information you have.

My DD was 6lbs 4oz when she was born and wouldn't feed as she was born with too much mucus on her stomach telling her she was full, I tried to breastfeed but she wouldn't latch because as far as she was concerned she was full so I had to bottle feed her breast milk every 2 hours, she lost 10.2% of her body weight by the time the midwife saw her when she was 3 days old, she said that they would normally admit you back to hospital but we had only just come out so she said keep doing what you are doing and I will come back in 24 hours. My DD started throwing up thick yellow mucus that night, which went on for 30 minutes then she cried for food for the first time and luckily she had put weight on the next day. By 6 weeks I had dried up and she went onto formula, it did her no harm and she was fed about every 3-4 hours. I also never let her sleep on me, if I knew she was tired she went down in her Moses basket, I didn't leave her she could here me and if she did get upset, which was hardly ever, I would talk to her and put my hand on her chest, she is 3. Some of the 'old' practices do work if you tweak them to suit you.

Also there was a study that came out when my DD was about 7 months old saying that the reason so many children are allergic to nuts I because they aren't introduced early enough and to give the small amounts of smooth peanut butter, my HV went mad at me.

I also don't understand the obsession with 'wearing' your children. It's like a new fashion

Yeah, stupid modern mothers and their stupid newfangled fashions. No one ever carried their babies back in the day in case it made them clingy and dependent....

Also I was adamant my son would self settle, never rocked him to sleep etc. My daughter I decided I wasn't going to make the sane mistake with, she was my last and child hood is such a short time span, she was rocked to sleep and we co slept for a while. She's now two and refuses to sleep in my arms and sleeps in her own bed all night. She's by far the most secure out of my two children. At the childminder she wanders off without so much as a wave. My son often still cries and lingers by the door. Could well be different personalities too but I'm very supportive of parents doing what they feel is best for their child. They're little for such a short time, if they demand a lot of our attention so be it. I'll wish they were back in my bed when they're 18 and out until all hours!

"My personal experience is all mine were demand fed but were all only wanting BF every 4 hours by 8 weeks?"

That is not my personal experience, nor that of most of my friends. DD only weighed 5lb 11oz when born and then lost 10% of her body weight. At three weeks she only weighed 5lb 2oz. The midwife advised me to feed DD at least every three hours. She was about 12 weeks before she even weighed 10lb.

I think it was because life was physically harder for most women then. There was another thread about this where I spoke of my mum not having a fridge or washing machine and we didn't live in a house with a bath until I was a much older child. There wasn't a lot of time for baby led parenting.
I think the OP sounds lovely. She's only asking.