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Help - toad screaming in the sofa! AIBU to call DH to come home?

273 replies

Aquablu · 12/06/2017 11:53

I know this sounds dramatic, but AIBU? I have a phobia of frogs and toads. I can and have dealt with the odd stray mouse but amphibians - no.

On Friday, I was on the house in my own and I heard what I thought was the kitchen back door creaking on its hinges, but it was a weird noise. I went in there, only to find a massive toad in the middle of the floor. I just froze - I can't even bring myself to look the things! It was making this unearthly squeaking noise and the cat seemed scared of it.

I was late for a wax appt, so I just went and shut it in the kitchen, leaving the back door open and put the cat in the front part of the house so he couldn't get to it.

I also thought I heard a kind of croaking like an echo coming from the living room, but I had to go.

When I came back the thing had gone thank god. There is nowhere it can hide in the kitchen. The dishwasher and cupboards were shut, so it must have hopped outside. DD's Nintendo DS sometimes makes weird noises, so I thought the other noise in the living room must have been that vibrating or some kind of alarm.

We've been away for the weekend, but today, to my horror, there is the same screaming sound coming from the sofa in the living room! There must be a toad in there that was calling to the one on Friday in the way they do across ponds. I can't bring myself to pull the cushions off in case it jumps! It could have been lying flat for god knows how long.

AIBU to call DH to come back from work asap to get the toad out? He's meant to be going to the airport at 4pm, then he's away until Fri. I can't live like this until then! AIBU or is that too ridiculous? I can't ask the neighbours.

OP posts:
Solo · 13/06/2017 00:53

Never mind the frog! I'm more gobsmacked that 'over 50's' are considered to be 'OAP's' Shock

ClinkyMonkey · 13/06/2017 01:12

I thought the same as you Solo!

Aquablu · 13/06/2017 06:23

Pomme I'll be sure to enquire where I can find one in my size Grin

No of course OAP does not mean over 50 sorry - I'm 41 myself! There are various supported living flats which someone told me were for the over 50s (though I doubt they'd turn you away at 40 if you needed support), but then where the pond is it's an actual retirement / nursing home. It's all in the same grounds and I think someone in the flats might be feeding the cat.
We also live quite near the London Wetland Centre tbh, so god knows what wildlife migrates to us from there!

OP posts:
QuercusQuercus · 13/06/2017 08:48

We have toads in our garden as we have a wildlife pond. I like them. However one did get into our garage and climb inside a bag of potting compost, then when I went to pot on some plants in the bloody half-dark garage it slid out practically onto my hand. I am not phobic but I did have a moment of frozen horror.

I also had to remove a pigeon from an air vent in our old house. It had been there for 3 days. The removal operation involved gardening gloves, an old sheet and two of us. I had to take the air vent cover off, reach in and grab it. I just kind of pretended it wasn't happening and then had a massive gin afterwards.

Solo · 13/06/2017 09:02

Grin That's a bit of a relief! I was starting to wonder if I should be claiming my pension at 53!

I have no pond but have loads of frogs in my weedy garden overgrowth ooer missus! and just like the fact they keep the slugs and snails at bay.

Deux · 13/06/2017 09:56

Oh my. When we had our building works done a few years ago, we ended up with most of the back of the house being glass.

One night it was raining heavily and DH and I were watching TV.

Then a sort of knocking sound started to come from the glass, low down. Well really more like someone was throwing something at the glass. A sort of dull, rubbery thud sound. And to make matters worse it was coming from several different places.

I totally freaked out, looked outside and couldn't see anything obvious from the glare of the lights inside. Started screeching at DH that "something's out there trying to get in".

Anyway DH bravely opened one of doors to find out what was happening and oh dear Lord there were 5 or 6 frogs doing some kind of frenzied kamikaze leap up at the glass.

Awful. My mind ran away from itself and I found myself imagining Biblical plagues of frogs, end of days, you name it.

VanillaSugar · 13/06/2017 10:02

I also have a grey velvet sofa. OP - how do you keep yours so CLEAN?? My DS has put greasy finger marks all over ours.

Also, did the toad leave a toad trial? I'd be freaking out!

Aquablu · 13/06/2017 10:34

Omg Deux that's a full on assault!
Quercus - yes we've had pigeon issues too, but that's another thread.

No toad trail fortunately - though not sure what that would look like? Confused

Lots of enquiries about the sofas Grin. Thought I would be doing an insurance claim yesterday (though doubt we are covered for toad invasion). Obviously the most important thing for us is that the sofas coordinated with the cat Grin

Help - toad screaming in the sofa! AIBU to call DH to come home?
OP posts:
justcantthinkofaname · 13/06/2017 11:15

Cats are a nightmare lol you joked about it being under the cushions and all being sat on it, well that's exactly what happened at my mums the cat brought a baby rat home and dropped it we couldn't see where it went and the cat was going mad in the kitchen waiting by the washing machine we had the door open and the cat lost interest thought it might have possibly got out and no one noticed.

Well it must have climbed up and gone under the cushions on the sofa and suffocated as the day or two later we found it having all been sat there at some point. It had removable replaceable covers so my mum managed to order a replacement and the guy came to fit them but it wasnt cheap!

Bluewombler2k · 13/06/2017 12:28

"I say, poop.poop"

Help - toad screaming in the sofa! AIBU to call DH to come home?
Ficklemarket · 13/06/2017 12:33

Your cat's use of a box is brilliant. I bet there is an unused and expensive cat bed somewhere in your house...

sprot · 13/06/2017 19:06

This reminded me of two occasions,
Once we had a toad and I asked the 20 ish lad next to us if he'd get it out the lounge for me,"I will get me mum"he said bless him,she took it away for me..
Scene 2: we went on holiday,my mother dog sits,she rang up frantic that there was a frog/toad in the house,she went round to our neighbour ( different one this time) he couldn't find anything,anyway cut long story short,neighbour and mother ripped bottom off our sofa found nothing,I eventually got mum to make the noise for me.
WAIT FOR THE PUNCHLINE- it was the automatic air freshener πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

puggyflump · 13/06/2017 19:06

I have to say this is the worst post I've ever read on here. I have the biggest phobia of frogs and toads that anyone can have. Have you were ever even in the house with it I don't know!!! I would have been outside screaming. Cats do bring them in, my parents had 8 and they used to deposit them all around the house (hence the phobia). Too terrified to look at the video of one in a toilet. The lady posting about then appearing in her toilet has traumatised me for life and whoever put a picture of one with a "spotty tummy" well I now can't eat dinner. I'm very relieved it's out of your house but I would get it in the market and move asap πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

BeautyQueenFromMars · 13/06/2017 19:46


You poor thing. Toads make a horrid noise dont they. Luckily I'm not scared of toads and the cats do bring them in sometimes. My fear is spiders. If they screamed like toads scream ........shock


cherish123 · 13/06/2017 19:57

Get your husband home? You are not a child. He is not your father. Don't be ridiculous. If you are petrified ask a neighbour or friend.

Lovelymess · 13/06/2017 21:01

OMG poor thing!! You need
You get it outside and get over yourself

ButtonMooooon · 13/06/2017 21:59

Cherish and Lovely

Here, have my first ever


cheval · 13/06/2017 22:48

They are a bit weird but move slowly compared to mice. I had one in garage that seemed to bond with me and just wouldn't sod off. In my house I would be equally freaking out. But sometimes you find it in yourself to be brave. Find him, stick a tea towel over and gently dispense into the garden.

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 13/06/2017 23:42

Had to stay up reading this. Love the positive outcome all round. You've married a good 'un! Cat is gorgeous and I'm disappointed we're not getting any more house pics

ladyyyglittersparkles · 13/06/2017 23:48

I've just googled a toad screaming what an awful fucking noise!!!
I would literally shit in my pants if there was a toad in my house 😱

Ceto · 14/06/2017 00:24

Do people seriously think OP is still wondering whether to get her husband home at night time and over 30 hours after beginning the thread?

Ginandplatonic · 14/06/2017 01:18

This thread Is brilliant: drama, pathos, suspense, a hero who saves the day....not to mention excellent taste in home decor, aesthetically pleasing pets and celebrity acquaintances! Kudos OP, you truly have it all! Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 16/06/2017 06:04

Aww cherish I do so bloody love it when someone strops into a thread like you did being all indignant and just plain right, handing out grips to all and sundry. Only it turns out you look a bit of a twit having not RTFT Grin

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