Posting here for traffic
There's a kid in DS's class that is a high achiever- wins everything, is selected for every team etc.
Problem is it's making my DS who is 9 feel super inadequate and I don't know how to manage it.
Conversations go like this 'Johnny won the chess tournament and got a trophy' or 'Johnny got a medal today for tennis- I really tried Mummy' 'I'm really sorry mummy, I didn't get selected for athletics but Johnny did' etc etc. Johnny is always in playground with medals etc and even today he had a medal for winning something and was selected for something else.
DS is an normal kid and tries really hard but doesn't seem to get anywhere bless him and I am worried that he will give up trying as Johnny always wins/ gets selected.
Aibu to ask how you manage this?
I have said how proud I am of him for trying - he's desperate to be selected for something/ to win something but with this kid in the class it's unlikely ever to happen and I'm struggling with the 'well done for trying' messages! I know it's real life and it's hard but it's also tricky when it's your kid feeling like he's trying but not getting anywhere.
Aibu to ask for advice/ tips to manage self confidence
AIBU?
The kid that wins everything
Happyhappyveggie · 19/05/2017 17:31
OP, your DS needs to stop comparing himself to others and recognise everyone is absolutely unique with their own strengths and weaknesses. Likewise, you must model that behaviour. No comparisons to others. Lots of praise, wherever you can find it. Is his handwriting beautiful? Can he add or multiply quickly? Etc.
Remind him that, in life, no-one needs to be 'the best'. That's just a school thing really and it shouldn't be. In real life, being good or even great at something is much more valued. And the most valued thing of all? Kindness. 
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