AIBU to think it's unfair my colleague won't speak to me!

[OhJustPassTheCake]

So one of my colleagues isn't talking to me because I politely gave her a few home truths last week. Strictly speaking I'm not her manager, but I am a founder of the business although I don't own it, so I'm seen as senior to her. I definitely think I am too friendly with the staff rather than "manager-y" which I'm assuming is why she's pissed off at me, like I all of a sudden went all managerial on her when I don't normally lol, but I'm getting fed up!

But she is really taking the piss, she is late for work every day, like EVERY day, by 30 minutes. And she lives a 10 minute walk away. Those of us that liver further away and have children to get to school first always arrive before her. She is young (-er than most of us!), free and single with no responsibilities so she has no reason to be late. This has been addressed a couple of times but she never changes, she just gets arsey for a couple of weeks and then reverts to being late. She also is very lax with taking a lunch "hour", it regularly extends to an hour and 15 minutes, and lunch is supposed to be taken between 12 and 2, but she takes no notice of that and will still be out at lunch come 3pm or later. Her attitude is generally pants, she is very un-motivated and, as we work in quite a small office this can bring down the whole atmosphere. I've spoken to the owner loads of times but he doesn't do anything about it.

So the thing that's brought it all to a head is that she wants to leave an hour early once a week for 8 weeks, we agreed this was fine and we would alter her payroll accordingly. But when our boss was out of sight she told me she was furious about this, and that she feels it's totally unfair and that she thought we would just "let her off" this hour, and we're being petty by knocking it off her wages. I explained that A) if we did that for her, we'd have to do it for everyone, B) she has no room to moan because her timekeeping his horrendous, which if she mentioned this to our boss he would bring that up and C) some companies would say "no" altogether, we don't have to let her do it but we are very accommodating as a business so we don't see a reason why not. We originally agreed on a certain day that was fine, but she's gone ahead and arranged this on a different day, which would leave us short staffed. She made out she didn't see a problem but it's obvious, yet we have still worked around it for her. God I'm getting angry just writing this!

We are very laid back at work and I think she is taking advantage of this, she says she's always late because "it's not as if anyone is here waiting to beat us with a big stick" - like, what the hell does that even mean!? My colleague overheard our entire conversation and she says I wasn't mean, I was just honest and fair, but now this girl hasn't spoken to me since. There's only 4 of us at work some days so it's very noticeable lol! I think the answer is that my boss disciplines her for bad timekeeping but he won't! I think he's just hoping she'll get another job and clear off but she's worked here for 8 years so far, and I know she did get offered another job and she turned it down!

She is very entitled, and because she (in her words) gets paid crap (living wage, not minimum wage) she doesn't think she should change anything. But until she works harder she won't get a pay rise, but she says there's no point working harder until she gets a pay rise! It's a vicious circle that I'm stuck in the middle of!

Would like some advice on how to handle this, I'm not too bothered if I come out looking like the bad guy, I just want everything to be fair. This is really starting to bring morale down and I (or my boss!) needs to do something! HELP! x

[Madwoman5]

Does she want a medal for showing up in the morning? A job is a job and it comes with a contract of employment stating working hours. Whoever is managing this person needs to get a bloody grip and sort her out. She earns living wage but does not work at least one hour of that due to lateness, long lunches etc. As for changing this day without consultation? She is taking the piss and will continue to do so until stopped. She will sulk when pulled up on it because she knows she is wrong. If you go and see her manager and the md and express your concern about how her work ethic is affecting staff morale and you are concerned they are not getting the best value for their money. Then leave it. When she gets in late, say Afternoon .
When sorting the lunches, ask what time everyone will be going because you need to be sure the phones are covered. When she takes a long lunch, make a point of looking at your watch when she strolls back in. You may not be her boss but you have to work together and this behaviour is not acceptable.

[NotHotDogMum]

Well...now that she's not speaking to you at all there's nothing to stop you commenting on all her transgressions.

'Good morning Sheila, you are 30 minutes late'

'Welcome back from lunch Sheila you took 1 hr & 15 minutes'

'You are supposed to be back from lunch by 2pm, I see you are taking your lunch hour at 3 today Sheila'

Etc.

[SirGawain]

I have worked with a colleague like this. He sapped everyone's morale and de-motivated them. If questioned he always play the victim and told everyone that any managment sanctions were unfair.
He was a good talker and convinced everyone from outside the department that he was the only one who did any work; in fact the reverse was true.
On one occasion he spent three hours repairing a poundshop calculator and wondered why the manager suggested that it was not an appropriate use of his time. (£12.50 an hour several years ago).

[elephantscansing]

OP, several people have advised you that her manager should have noticed this and dealt with it months ago. if she's behaving like this in a a small office it will inpact on everyone. Everyone should be pissed off at her!

Will her maanger be dealing with it? And why have they let it go for so long?

At least if she isn't talking to you she has more time to do her work...

[Louiselouie0890]

Id not speak to you either or I'd rather say who do you think you are? Yes she's clearly a shite employee but she's not your employee and because of this your Treding into a workplace bully zone. Only thing you can do is speak to your manager. It's between the manager and the employee not you! If I was your manager I'd probably take the softly softly approach at putting you I'm your place as your clearly far too involved.

[allthingslipsticks]

allthingslipsticks she's not the youngest here, but not the oldest, but yeah, it's her first "proper" job if you like, although she was great at the start. I honestly think she is fed up and wants to go on to bigger and better things, but until then she is happy to get away with what she can here sad Will be interesting if I'm ever asked for a reference on timekeeping! x

Hi OP, sounds like she is indeed fed up and not really motivated at all.I suppose she needs to get out there and find a job that suits her. Perhaps she should be given notice to find another job and move on xx

[lastcheesestraw]

She's only sulking because she knows you are right.

Don't cave in to her childishness. You didn't say anything that any normal person wouldn't say (or think at least). As a colleague you need her to pull her weight.

If she doesn't shape up I think she should get the sack. As you say she brings down everyone else so she really doesn;t deserve any favours. You could find someone else lovely instead who would appreciate the job!!