AIBU to think it's unfair my colleague won't speak to me!

[OhJustPassTheCake]

So one of my colleagues isn't talking to me because I politely gave her a few home truths last week. Strictly speaking I'm not her manager, but I am a founder of the business although I don't own it, so I'm seen as senior to her. I definitely think I am too friendly with the staff rather than "manager-y" which I'm assuming is why she's pissed off at me, like I all of a sudden went all managerial on her when I don't normally lol, but I'm getting fed up!

But she is really taking the piss, she is late for work every day, like EVERY day, by 30 minutes. And she lives a 10 minute walk away. Those of us that liver further away and have children to get to school first always arrive before her. She is young (-er than most of us!), free and single with no responsibilities so she has no reason to be late. This has been addressed a couple of times but she never changes, she just gets arsey for a couple of weeks and then reverts to being late. She also is very lax with taking a lunch "hour", it regularly extends to an hour and 15 minutes, and lunch is supposed to be taken between 12 and 2, but she takes no notice of that and will still be out at lunch come 3pm or later. Her attitude is generally pants, she is very un-motivated and, as we work in quite a small office this can bring down the whole atmosphere. I've spoken to the owner loads of times but he doesn't do anything about it.

So the thing that's brought it all to a head is that she wants to leave an hour early once a week for 8 weeks, we agreed this was fine and we would alter her payroll accordingly. But when our boss was out of sight she told me she was furious about this, and that she feels it's totally unfair and that she thought we would just "let her off" this hour, and we're being petty by knocking it off her wages. I explained that A) if we did that for her, we'd have to do it for everyone, B) she has no room to moan because her timekeeping his horrendous, which if she mentioned this to our boss he would bring that up and C) some companies would say "no" altogether, we don't have to let her do it but we are very accommodating as a business so we don't see a reason why not. We originally agreed on a certain day that was fine, but she's gone ahead and arranged this on a different day, which would leave us short staffed. She made out she didn't see a problem but it's obvious, yet we have still worked around it for her. God I'm getting angry just writing this!

We are very laid back at work and I think she is taking advantage of this, she says she's always late because "it's not as if anyone is here waiting to beat us with a big stick" - like, what the hell does that even mean!? My colleague overheard our entire conversation and she says I wasn't mean, I was just honest and fair, but now this girl hasn't spoken to me since. There's only 4 of us at work some days so it's very noticeable lol! I think the answer is that my boss disciplines her for bad timekeeping but he won't! I think he's just hoping she'll get another job and clear off but she's worked here for 8 years so far, and I know she did get offered another job and she turned it down!

She is very entitled, and because she (in her words) gets paid crap (living wage, not minimum wage) she doesn't think she should change anything. But until she works harder she won't get a pay rise, but she says there's no point working harder until she gets a pay rise! It's a vicious circle that I'm stuck in the middle of!

Would like some advice on how to handle this, I'm not too bothered if I come out looking like the bad guy, I just want everything to be fair. This is really starting to bring morale down and I (or my boss!) needs to do something! HELP! x

[mustiwearabra]

• She sounds hopeless
  

- If you're not a manager or haven't been allocated managerial responsibilities then it then it's not your job to manage

- Having kids doesn't = is alright to be late

[PurpleMinionMummy]

She needs a formal warning, whoever's place that is.

If management won't deal with it, it's hardly surprising her colleague has dished out some home truths. She must piss everyone else off in rolling in and out when she feels like it too.

[OhJustPassTheCake]

I didn't say it was OK to be late if you have kids, NONE of the other staff are late, and it rubs it in a bit more when those that have had to do school runs and nursery runs, and live further away, can manage to get in on time, when she can't, that's all I meant by that.

[NoMudNoLotus2]

I definitely think I am too friendly with the staff rather than "manager-y" which I'm assuming is why she's pissed off at me, like I all of a sudden went all managerial on her when I don't normally lol, but I'm getting fed up!


I don't get this bit ^^

If you're not the manager, why would you need to worry about being too friendly with staff and not manager-y when you're one of the staff yourself? You're either a manager or staff (senior or not is still staff.)

[SquinkiesRule]

Your work needs a time clock, clock in, clock out for lunch and back in, then at home time, they would soon see how awful her time keeping is, and not want to pay her to be late all the time.

[missymayhemsmum]

If it is bringing morale down (as in her behaviour is pissing everyone off not just you) you need to let her manager know that. At the moment s/he's being nice and turning a blind eye, but if it's affecting the team it wants sorting.

[OhJustPassTheCake]

Happyfeet1972 no you assume entirely wrongly, I don't think I need to explain the entire make up of the company, I was just looking for some advice on how to handle an employee that is having a big impact on staff morale. The business has 6 staff in it's entirety so there isn't a HR department, or line managers. I don't want to start coming in 30 minutes late myself because that's pathetic, I also don't think having loyalty to a company means its OK to take the piss, or why "I wouldn't care if the boss doesn't care" - I care because it's not fair on ANYONE else, and I have to work with her, so I would like to solve the issue.

[AnnetteCurtains]

She wants a job with flexi hours
Your boss needs to have a word

[OhJustPassTheCake]

yes SquinkiesRule, I think you might be right xx

[Bibidy]

OP I don't think what you said was necessarily out of line just because you're not her manager.

I would be just as honest with a friend if they said the same thing to me...not in a snooty way, but even just to warn her that if she brings up the pay docking then the boss is very likely to bring up her bad timekeeping!

From what you've said, she sounds a bit stroppy (sulking for 2 weeks after being pulled up on her timekeeping etc) so I wouldn't worry that she's not talking to you. Just give her time to cool down and I'm sure it'll be fine.

[LedaP]

The boss needs to manage her performance. She has not been managed effectively. You should not have stepped in and gave her home truths.

By the sounds of it you arent ine of the founders. You are someone who has been there from the start, which doesnt make you more senior.

She is a pita, but you would be best keeping out it. The fact that your boss is ineffective in people managment is the issue.

[allthingslipsticks]

How old is she OP and is this her first job as an adult? It looks like has a lot to learn about the world of work. I think her manager should have a chat with her about expectations of staff behaviour. She should probably have a formal warning from HR as well.

[OhJustPassTheCake]

I don't know why so many of you are struck on the point of me being a founder or not, because I'm not the owner! I created the business with an ex colleague of mine when we both got made redundant from previous employment, I decided on the name, the logo, the procedures, the staff, the location, I trained the staff.... I hired the girl that we are talking about here! I only wanted a bit of advice!

[AyeAmarok]

She sounds a nightmare.

But it's not your place to do anything. You're not the boss. You don't make the rules. You don't get to pull up other staff for their lateness, attitude, flexi requests or anything else.

[OhJustPassTheCake]

allthingslipsticks she's not the youngest here, but not the oldest, but yeah, it's her first "proper" job if you like, although she was great at the start. I honestly think she is fed up and wants to go on to bigger and better things, but until then she is happy to get away with what she can here :( Will be interesting if I'm ever asked for a reference on timekeeping! x

[AyeAmarok]

I only wanted a bit of advice!

Speak to your boss about how you feel that you and the team are being taken advantage of, let your boss handle it. If he/she does nothing, then there's nowt you can do.

[Happyfeet1972]

Then you need to raise it your manager OP as it's not your place to do so. But you've said you have raised it with the owner and they don't care so it's unlikely to change...I'm telling you not to give a fuck for your own sanity because they clearly aren't going to do anything. Your manager sounds incompetent..so you can either keep raising it and risk the manager and or owner thinking you're the problem, or you can try not to let it bother you.

If she is ignoring you then as per my first post you need to raise it with your manager as it's not acceptable. I say all the above as a HR manager.

For what it's worth I agree with you...she sounds awful. But if the owner doesn't care there's not much you can do.

[WicksEnd]

I don't agree Squinkie, why should everyone else have to clock in and out just because she can't get her precious arse out of bed? I hate this kind of 'managment' one member of staff takes the piss so they system changes for everyone. It's like that where I work and it drives me insane
Is she shagging the boss?
A relative of the boss ?
Why isn't the boss tackling it? She's costing him/her money by being paid for being a t home or out for lunch.
What's your position compared to hers?

[TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain]

You're not her manager. That sort of bollocking needs to come from someone in a genuine authority position for it to have any effect at all. All that has happened now is that she's got you pegged as an miserable interfering old wotsit who doesn't like her.

I agree that her timekeeping is unacceptable, but you do sound very condescending when you go on about her age and apparent lack of responsibilities.

[Happyfeet1972]

And in answer to your request about how to handle an employee having an impact on staff morale...the normal course of action would be for the manager to speak to the employee..for time keeping I'd say informally at first but then if there was no improvement to begin disciplinary action.

But none of this is relevant if you aren't her manager. So all you can do is raise it with you manager,let them know it's impacting on you and hope they stop being a coward and do something. However, as above, if they are already aware and choosing not to take action, then you need to be careful they don't see you raising it continuosly as being the problem. Not right I know, but it happens.

[OhJustPassTheCake]

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain that's not my intention at all. It just riles me that I (and others) get here before her (even though I start later!) after already doing a school run and then driving 20 minutes through traffic to the office. To know that she just needs to set off walking down the road with no-one to sort out but herself gets my goat, that's all. xx

[PaintingOwls]

People will take the piss if they can get away with it. There are people at my company who shirk responsibilities, roll in late and take forever to do anything. In each case they have a disengaged manager.

If the owner isn't willing to do anything about it then I don't see what you can do either. Perhaps it's time to have a restructure and introduce some professionalism into the workplace.

[EezerGoode]

Needs sacking

[SapphireStrange]

OP, you're not making yourself sound any better with your protests about your 'intention' regarding her relationship/offspring status. I'd just leave it now if I were you.

[AlternativeTentacle]

How have you created the business and yet are not in charge?

You need to tell her manager to manage her.