To dislike children playing on the streets

[massiemal]

It is rather dangerous, noisy and vulgar. AIBU to dislike it?

[lalalalyra]

You'd hate my street OP. There's currently around 15 kids playing rounders. There are always children playing in the street.

It does mean people who drive into the street do so slowly just in case there is a kid crossing, but that's hardly a harship.

They fall out, of course they do, but shielding children from conflict doesn't help them imo. My best friend at school's Mum was constantly managing her friendships - one fall out and she was up to school insisting they keep the children apart. Even now she's dire at dealing with anyone with a different opinion to herself. My 8yo came in in a huff yesterday because another child had said something he didn't like. An hour later they were back playing having sorted it between themselves.

But then again I'm a shit parent who allows their 8yo to walk to school alone and whose 13yo twins are allowed to go into town on a Saturday. Apparently I need to learn that things are different these days....

[massiemal]

I would not like to live there, but I wouldn't "hate" it.

[spidey66]

I was brought up in the 70s/80s when it was the norm to play out on the street. Always in view of the house, (except for the odd trip to the sweet shop round the corner) and our road was fairly quiet.

As a result, I think it made us safer in a way as all the neighbours knew us, at least to see, even if they didn't have kids themselves. So if something had happened, a neighbour could say, ''oh yeah, I know that kid, she's one of the builder's kids, I saw her buying some Bazooka Joe when I went there for fags.'' And presumably if that same person saw us being hassled or approached they would know straight away something wasn't right.

I remember my sister going missing when she was about 3, (not for long, probably about 15 minutes all in.) The neighbours all knew her and were out looking for her straight away. One of them found her in the churchyard round the corner happily picking daisies. She was brought back just as the police arrived. Although thats an extreme example by todays standards, at least it shows how everu=yone knew all the kids.

I don't have kids but I'm happy for the neighbours kids to play in the street. I hardly know them to see and I think that can be dangerous in a way.

[massiemal]

And I don't see a problem with teenagers in town alone; not sure about the eight year old but it depends on distance and so on.

[Beerwench]

Round here the kids play together and there's usually a mum at a kitchen window or a dad washing a car or something. I have the largest bit of pavement in front of my garden and they play there, if I let my dogs out the dogs bark and try and squeeze as close as they can. Kids will ask 'can we stroke ya dogs?' And as my 2 are kid friendly they can, when I walk up from the bus stop with shopping if they're out they run and help, even the tiny ones. I patched up a scraped knee the other day on a little one and she went off happily. Older neighbour across the road, whose kids have grown up collared a lad this morning for swearing and told him off - mum came out and he got another telling off for swearing from his mum.
Yes they're loud, but they're being taught to be a community by the adults, we look out for them all and any strangers are reported pretty quick as is behaviour the children themselves fear will lead them into trouble and want to avoid. No it's not ideal they play in the street where cars are but you know what, as a community we know where the kids play and therefore the cars are slow and careful, which isn't a bad thing.
Vulgar is an awful way to describe kids playing. Either they're playing, or engaging in anti-social behavior (it happens) in which case it needs to be dealt with.

[massiemal]

Personally, taking the original topic aside for a moment, I'd find that quite intrusive but each to their own :)

[spidey66]

I think Beerwench explained more eloquently than me what I was trying to explain about my experiences as a child. Though the 3 year old sister going missing was quite extreme I admit. Shouldn't really be any younger than 5 or 6.

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

I think Lord of the flies is more likely to be online these days than on the streets. My kids are just starting to play out at 9 and 7 which is much older than I did.

[Oblomov17]

You are a teacher? Oh dear.
I think children should play outside. I don't think playing out, riding your bike, like in the 70's and 80's, was so bad. I think it was a good time.
And I think the current parenting style of helicopter parenting and cotton Wooling children, should adjust slightly back to that. Because it's swung too far in the opposite direction. To redress the balance back to a more even keel.

[Sn0tnose]

I grew up on an estate where large families were the norm. We all played out together, the older siblings keeping an eye on the younger ones. Everyone knew who we were and if we got up to mischief, we got told off by whoever had seen us and our mums knew about it before we got home, ready to tell us off again. As a result, we knew not to cause damage or bother the elderly. Our parents didn't feel that anyone was being intrusive; they took the view that there was always someone making sure we were safe, not upsetting anyone and ready to stick a plaster on a grazed knee. We would regularly play rounders or cricket in the streets. We knew to keep an eye out for cars and neighbours knew to drive cautiously. We were always out, running about and having fun. Yes, occasionally there were fallouts but these never lasted longer than a few hours.

I'm incredibly grateful for the freedom I had as a child. I learnt social skills, independence & conflict resolution and how to build a fantastic camp in the woods I feel very sad that several of our nieces haven't had similar freedoms due to them living on busy main roads with no other children nearby. And I love living on an estate now, where the children feel free to roam about. Hearing kids outside on Christmas Day playing with new bikes etc is just lovely.

[kel1493]

Personally I don't see the need of agree with children playing in the street.
I was never allowed nor will I allow my children.
Gardens or back yards allow them to be outside. Or take them to a park.

[Summerisdone]

MN really does make me laugh.
Just yesterday I read a thread about someone complaining about her neighbour's children playing in the garden and preventing her from sitting in her own garden due to noise and feeling like her privacy is being invaded, and now I'm actually reading about someone complaining at how vulgar it is to see children playing outside and that they should be contained to their gardens

FWIW Op, I think YABU. Small children usually play in gardens but then children grow bigger and want more space to play, they have bikes and scooters that really are rather shit to play on in a garden. If they want to play ball games then surely it would be much more fun to play it with a friend or two, but how are they going to make friends locally to play ball with if they aren't allowed out of their own gardens to meet each other.

Also, some people have small or no gardens at all, so what should they do? Continue being vulgar or should they be contained to their bedrooms and remain out of sight?

Personally I love seeing kids playing out and having fun, yes sometimes they can get a bit giddy and forget about roads, but parents should be teaching them road safety and drivers shouldn't be going fast and should be on hyper alert anyway when they are driving around an estate ( which I'm presuming we are talking about here as it's very rare I see children playing out if houses on right on a main road).

[hennaoj]

Why not join them? My 8 year old regularly plays out in our cul-de-sac with the neighbours children. I also get roped in when my 3 year old and 6 year old want to go out on their bikes/scooters. Last Summer we had a fantastic water bomb fight with the neighbours children, I couldn't fill the balloons quickly enough!

[massiemal]

Well, I was going to let this fade :)

I think people have mistook my retieince over children playing on the streets as reluctance to let them play outside at all. Children should absolutely be outside but in the park, the garden, not the street, for their own safety as well as being mindful about considerate behaviour towards others.

[BarbarianMum]

Oh right, this was advice for the children's benefit.

[gillybeanz]

I totally agree and only let ours play out in primary.
They were close to home and we took them to the park across the road.
As teens they weren't allowed out to aimlessly roam the streets as it serves as absolutely nothing positive.

[Redredredrose]

Is that you Dr Sternin? I am sure your children will spend many a happy hour observing the play patterns of the children on the street from their bedroom windows.

Well played. I did a genuine lol at this.

We've recently moved to a small estate - we're on a little close with six or seven other houses. Everyone has children, so everyone drives very slowly and carefully, most of the older kids play out in the street or walk to the little park at the end of the street. DS is too little to join in yet, and there are other littlies who also don't go out, but I hope when they're all older, they'll play together. All the older children are endearingly polite - just the other day, one of the boys had to move out of my way when I was parking on our drive, and waited til I got out to apologise for inconveniencing me, and several times I had them knock on the door to ask for permission to pick up balls from our drive or front lawn (until I gave him standing permission to help themselves). They wave as we drive past and if I have DS with me, they run over to say hello and give him a cuddle. DS dropped is little cuddly toy in the drive one time as DP was taking him to nursery - when I got home from work, he was sitting on our front step with a little note from the children across the
Close, addressed to DS and explaining they'd found the toy and kept him safe all day. It's idyllic, we love it.

[massiemal]

Not quite fair Barbarian I've been consistent all the way through in saying it isn't safe.

[squoosh]

How can you state so confidently it isn't safe? Do you assume every road is just like the road you live in?

Feral, vulgar..........honestly, you really do come across like a prime ninny.

[BarbarianMum]

Yes but that's clearly bollocks so your ulterior motive (vulgar, annoying) shines through.

[PlymouthMaid1]

Re my comment, whenever I see teens hanging about they are usually smoking, drinking and/or experimenting with drugs. They are also vulnerable to other groups who may beat them up, sell them drugs etc. Maybe it is different in other cities but I wouldn't consider it a great way for teens to spend their time. Every kid I ever taught in a PRU spent every evening hanging about causing trouble and I really can't see what a nice decent kid would get out of it once past the football and trike stage.

[MissBax]

Get a grip

[AngryGinger]

Some people don't have gardens???

[massiemal]

It would personally annoy me if children were screaming in the street and I do think it's careless parenting. Generally you only see it on certain roads.

Angry possibly. Many do, though.