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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect a counsellor to stay awake during a consultation!!!???

32 replies

ohsmellyjelly · 12/03/2007 13:42

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malaleche · 12/03/2007 13:44

if she was that tired she should have said something and reprogrammed the session, id ask the surgery if theyve had any other complaints abut her...

NineUnlikelyTales · 12/03/2007 13:46

Definitely complain - she's earning a fortune whilst sleeping, and putting vulnerable people at risk like you say.

mylittlestar · 12/03/2007 13:58

Definitely complain. Sleeping during a counselling session - WTF!!

Next time, as you say, it could be someone who is a hell of a lot more vulnerable than you. I dread to think.

On top of that, you were obviously there because you needed to be there and needed to get something out of it. Now you're going to miss out on valuable counselling sessions (understandably) because you don't want to see her again.

Put in a formal complaint.

And please don't be put off (I remember your thread). Ask to be referred to somebody else.

ohsmellyjelly · 12/03/2007 14:04

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inanidealworld · 12/03/2007 14:11

v. rude and unprofessional. Definitely complain.

mylittlestar · 12/03/2007 14:12

Ah, well it's good that Relate is going well.

Shame that we pay our taxes for a NHS services in which a counsellor falls asleep, but when we pay well earned money for a private counsellor it works but that's a whole other rant isn't it!

My situation is slowly improving. Good and bad days

ScummyMummy · 12/03/2007 14:14

OMG! Falling asleep during a counselling session is a major no no. Didn't she even look embarrassed or apologise?

ohsmellyjelly · 12/03/2007 14:18

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ScummyMummy · 12/03/2007 14:22

Jeez. I suppose she must have hoped you wouldn't notice or something but that is way out of order. (A tutor of mine at uni once fell asleep while I was reading out my paper to her but in retrospect that seems quite understandable.)

FioFio · 12/03/2007 14:23

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ipanemagirl · 12/03/2007 14:30

ohsmelly, that is out of order - no question about it. Do complain if you can! She should absolutely reschedule. Totally unprofessional. And she should have been prostrate with apology and checked out the effect it may have had on you.
My sister had the same thing happen to hear but was unable to address it. It left a bad taste in her mouth for certain. Any therapists/counsellors reading this thread - I wonder what the guidance is for this when it happens?

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 12/03/2007 14:39

You should complain. If she's not able to to do her job due to tiredness then she should have called in sick. She's working with vunerable people fhs, many of whom probably have real self esteem issues. She needs to be on the ball not falling asleep

mamama · 12/03/2007 14:43

Completely unacceptable.

Counselling is hard enough without being made to feel that you are boring someone to sleep.

Definitely complain.

I'm appalled.

ohsmellyjelly · 12/03/2007 14:54

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ohsmellyjelly · 12/03/2007 19:36

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Aimsmum · 12/03/2007 19:47

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helenhismadwife · 12/03/2007 20:18

that is really awful, I would definately complain and thank goodness you are obviously strong enough to do that.

Dont give up on the counselling there are some really good ones out there

ipanemagirl · 12/03/2007 21:39

oh smelly, you could ask if there's a practice manager who could advise you of the proper procedure. If there isn't one there is usually an area practice overseer person.
good luck - it's not acceptable!

glyn · 12/03/2007 22:59

I am involved in this type of work, as a life and parent coach. You should def complain. We all have to work within a code of ethics and that includes being able to take part in the session! In addition, counsellors have what is called supervision- that means they have to have regular sessions with an experienced counsellor who guides and advises them- sounds as if this person needs to adjust their work load and actually acknowledge that they are not up to the job. You could also complain to BACP (Britsh Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) as all counsellors should be members of that organisation.
Write to t he practice manager and may be your own GP if they are the ones who referred you.

Good luck with your new counsellor.

Ceolas · 12/03/2007 23:02

Oh that's awful

Poor you.

Did you get a letter telling you about the appt? I'd start with the address on there. Phone and say you wish to make a complaint, to whom should you address it?

Well out of order

Mhamai · 12/03/2007 23:05

I haven't even read the op and tbh I don't need to, wtf! I'm a trainee psychotherapist and to say falling asleep is unethical or unprofessional is an understatement to say the least, Christ that's like saying a surgeon dozed off while doing triple bypass, grrrrrrrrr, really angry on your behalf, it' plebs like that, that bring the profession into disrepute

By all means if he/she was not able to be "present" not a counselling term just for the sake of it! The least he/she should have done was to terminate the session, will go back now and read from the start but please do not let this go, report it to the appropriate body.

Mhamai · 12/03/2007 23:16

Ps, I don't have much info re practicing bodies in the UK as I am training in Ireland but I see glyn did mention it. You owe it to yourself never mind anyone else that as you say "could be more vulnerable but and heres the crunch, an experience like that could have put you off seeking further counselling, I'm so glad it hasn't and once again, I'm so sorry for the dreadful treatment you recieved.

Califrau · 12/03/2007 23:53

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ohsmellyjelly · 13/03/2007 13:48

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Heathcliffscathy · 13/03/2007 14:04

ahem.

If she was just knackered then she is guilty of being unprofessional and unethical.

However, two other things could have been going on:

It is very useful and can be extremely productive if a counsellor goes into kind of a reverie when with a client....going 'inside' as it were....did you find what she did say useful?

Secondly, there are particular kinds of presenting problems that can create a strong almost irresistable urge to fall asleep in the counsellor...it is a known phenomenon and has been written about in journal papers in the psychotherapy domain.

I think both of these are unlikely in a first session, which should be about putting you at ease and creating a sense of safety, which she patently did not do.

However, I would strongly urge you to go back and confront her....tell her how offended and put off you are by her having appeared to fall asleep...see what she says. the worst that can happen is that she fobs you off and leaves you feeling the same, in which case you should of course complain to the practise manager in the first instance. You might find though, that you are pleasantly surprised by her response to your honesty.

She might be a totally sh*t counsellor....but I only think you'll really know that by her response to you.