Does this make me an U miser?

[LockedAway]

I am pretty frigid with my income:

10% goes into my savings account
40% goes into my investment account
15% goes to my parents so they can enjoy their retirement
20% goes to "essentials" i.e. food, petrol, bills etc
15% goes to "lifestyle" i.e. dinners out, clothes, makeup etc

I own my house outright. The thing is, I have way too many family members/friends/neighbours who constantly tell me I should be out "enjoying life" more. I am not in the least bit interested in extravagance or partying or having the latest, fanciest things. Does this make me an U miser?

[Somerville]

It doesn't matter what anyone but you think about what you do with your money. (How do they know you save a lot though? YWBU to go on about it IRL.)

[LockedAway]

jelliebelly, JustHereForThePooStories I do not really enjoy "going out" in the first place so typically if someone wants to go to an ultra posh restaurant for the 4th time in a month, for example, I'll simply decline it without saying anything more. Just feels like a colossal waste IMO. I mean, I'd be perfectly happy to cook for them instead (and I do think I'm a pretty good cook)!

Sometimes I feel like it's down to how I was brought up. My parents are well off but as soon as I was old enough, once a week, I was encouraged to volunteer at the Soup Kitchen to see "how it's like for the less fortunate". So in a way I guess I never developed much of a taste for luxuries or "non-miserly" things as it seems.

Massively frustrated ATM because most of my "friends" seem to always want more but that's not me. Hence why this topic; was wondering if I'm genuinely "miserly" or if it's a case of different people being inclined to different lifestyles.

[brummiesue]

How much do you take home a month??

[stella23]

It depends really on whether it effects others for example,
Never offering to drive,
Or splitting the bill to the last penny
Or saying you won't go because of the cost.

Comes down to whether everyone else is putting their hands in their pockets and you. Aren't

[RandomMess]

Do you enjoy your life?

[HerBluebiro]

Sure, to me 4x a month eating out would seem excessive. But I have work colleagues who are put out by the fact that I don't go out regularly enough to point them in the direction of good eateries. They go out once a week with their husbands/wives, once a week with their footy team. I just don't. Perhaps one a month and then for lunch (which is cheaper, but that's not why I go for lunch - just easier than arranging babysitters etc)

What was the context that someone said this to you though? What were you not doing that they felt you should/could do?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

If your parents are well off, why are you sending them money?

You must be on a fairly high salary to be about to save 50%, give away another 15% and still just be turning down posh restaurants only one in four times!

[Chavelita]

Yes, what MrsTerry said -- why do you need to support your parents if they're wealthy? DH and I need to support ours, but they've always been poor, and have tiny state pensions.

Otherwise, you money, your choices, but your remark about liking to see the figures going up does make you sound like Silas Marner. If someone leaves a blonde child on your doorstep, check your savings account.

[theclick]

I think it's lovely that you give some money to your parents.

[LonginesPrime]

someone I care about called me a "greedy scrooge"

That's a horrible thing to say, and it's none of their bloody business!

It's your money, OP - if you earn it and that's how you choose to spend/invest it, that's absolutely your prerogative.

[LockedAway]

HerBluebiro It's been a build up, really. We've always been making jokes about how I don't "go out" etc but I never saw them as anything more than just harmless banter. This week though, she wants me to contribute to a table booking at a club to "have a weekend out". Not keen on clubbing in the first place so I said no. That's when it all blew up.

[LockedAway]

MrsTerryPratchett, Chavelita It's not so much about the money more the gesture. I love/respect/appreciate my parents more than anything else in the world and I try to visit as often as I can but I don't always get the chance to. So this I guess is my way of telling them thanks and that I'm thinking of them and to have a nice trip/nice meals/nice etc, all on me? Cheesy sorry.

[EweAreHere]

I can't imagine calling anyone who generously supplements their parents' retirement with 15% of their earnings a miser.

You sound very sensible, imo.

[Crumbs1]

Nothing less enjoyable than bankruptcy or worrying about bills.
Nothing more boring than being made to pretend you are enjoying an event that you've been bullied into paying for.
You are entitled to live your life as you wish free of any notion of miserliness.

[Sunnysidegold]

I think you sound anything but a miser op. I think you are so kind to think of your parents in that way and I love that your investment fund means you can donate to a good cause when you like.you sound sensible with money, I wish I was more like that!

[teaandakitkat]

How do you spend on the occasions you are out? Do you happily buy your round of drinks or pay your share of the bills without adding up every last penny?
I'd think you were a bit mean if I knew you had plenty savings but tried to avoid your round, or want to pay £2 less on a split bill because you had one less glass of wine.

But mostly I agree with you, if you don't want to spend your money on nights out in clubs then you don't have to.

[OhTheRoses]

I get you op. We are similar I think. It really really annoys my mother that we don't cruise and dd has never had a pony. and that I'm happy with Carvela shoes, M&S, and don't need to be excessive

[Didyoumeantobesorude1]

I think you sound lovely and your friends are rude.

[Goldfishjane]

It's different lifestyles op
Your friend was very rude
One thing I pay for and friend don't - if we are out till 2am I want a cab home. They don't care but I hate late travel alone. I never tell them they're miserly for that. Its individual choice.

[Neglectedbythesun]

You sound special, interesting and sincere. The only thing I would say is that it's quite a rigid and extreme set up. Often when I hear of someone or myself doing too much/ little of something or being too much/ too little then it can sometimes signal an imbalance. But maybe not.

[NashvilleQueen]

I think that the question is one which has already been asked: are you happy?

If you answer yes then of course it's fine to run your finances the way you do. If no then it MAY be (no higher than that) that your money could be used in a different way which would improve your quality of life.

You are clearly not reckless so I'm sure whatever you do you will have planned ahead for retirement and old age. But if you turn down opportunities or holidays just because you could save the money instead then you potentially could regret that in later years.

You've probably already gathered I'm a profligate wastrel who tends to subscribe to the view 'you could get run over by a bus tomorrow' when presented with temptation. So I'm quite envious of your restraint and self control!

[Riderontheswarm]

I don't like clubbing and wouldn't go if it was free so don't understand how someone can call you a greedy Scrooge for not wanting to go clubbing.
If you don't like going out that is your right and I agree it is a waste of money to spend lots of it just to do what others want you to do. If your friend wants to spend a lot of money in a fancy restaurant then they should but they shouldn't get annoyed that you don't want to.
I do think you should allow yourself to spend a bit enjoying the now. Find some sort of treat for yourself and enjoy it. One of my parents died very suddenly before they reached retirement age. They had built up an excellent pension and didn't get to enjoy one day of retirement. I've always been sensible with money but since they died I've lived more in the now than in the future. It's good to prepare for your future but there may not be one. I think it's best to build up financial security whilst spending money on things you genuinely enjoy (not things you feel pressurised into doing or things that don't feel worth the money to you).

[FlaviaAlbia]

Umm. If you're declining invites from friends because you don't want to spend the money then I'd maybe have a think.

I hate clubbing so I'd have declined that one too, but if there's something you would enjoy but wouldn't spend money you had spare on then I'd say that would be heading into miser territory.

Only you know. What are you saving for? If there's not an ultimate goal like pp have said then it's money for money's sake which is a bit sad.