To make my children say please and thank you?

[flownthecoopkiwi]

I have three small children under age of 10. Have spent these years saying "what's the magic word?" And going "P P P p!??!" like a mad woman...and now my children are very good at saying please and thank you.

I had thought it was one of the basics of parenting. I've even made my nieces and nephews say it...

But now I notice that family friends don't make their children say it, and often they don't either.

Is it out of fashion? Has there been some sort of parenting memo I didn't get?

[Blazedandconfused]

What the fuck?

You are asking if you are unreasonable for teaching your kids manners?

Fucks sake.

[frazzlebedazzle]

Lochan, I'll keep an eye on it!

[Lochan]

Frazzle

[user1491572121]

Frazzle exactly! Small children often don't understand what they're saying fully. It takes time for them to grasp it.

[thethoughtfox]

It's basic social currency. Excuse me is also important.

[Daydream007]

Good manners cost nothing

[splendide]

My 3yo tantrums while screaming No THANK YOU!!! Very funny to watch

Yes I get this from mine! Also I think he thinks that "please" means something approximating "immediately wench". At least he's getting the habit I suppose!

[Curious2468]

I hate when people try and force kids to say this. My son is on the autistic spectrum and also has a speech disorder. I don't always pick him up for forgetting to say please or thank you, especially if he has spoken politely but there have been a couple of times when someone else has commented. Its infuriating, belittles the parent and actually can cause the child quite a lot of unnecessary stress and upset.

When someone refers to 'magic words' or 'are you forgetting something?' etc my kids look totally confused. It's enough to stop them trying to talk or engage and can be counter productive.

So yes manners are great and we should all be aiming to teach our children this, but modelling the behaviours ourselves and gentle explanations are far better than getting cross when they forget.

[thatdearoctopus]

modelling the behaviours ourselves and gentle explanations are far better than getting cross when they forget.

Who has suggested that getting cross when they forget is a good option?