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AIBU?

To not let neighbour use the toilet

130 replies

Whattodo23 · 03/04/2017 16:34

I regularly have a couple of kids from street playing in my garden, just say hello to parents, don't know them well at all. One child needs a wee aibu to send her home? Don't feel right letting her use toilet given she is 7, I think. Husband is not at home but still it doesn't sit right

OP posts:

Report

RebelRogue · 03/04/2017 17:19

Jesus Absinthe ,your way of thinking is scary :/

HecateAntaia · 03/04/2017 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whattodo23 · 03/04/2017 17:20

Absinthe at least I am not the only one who feels that way. My male friends are also very careful.

OP posts:

Soubriquet · 03/04/2017 17:20

Unfortunately I think it's realistic too

My dh has been shouted at...for smiling at a small child. Apparently he shouldn't have even looked at the child

RestlessTraveller · 03/04/2017 17:21

I'm fucking appalled at the amount of
people on here who think children routinely
make false abuse allegations.

Trifleorbust · 03/04/2017 17:22

I think I am going to add 'safeguarding issue' to my MN Bingo list

It is beyond paranoid to imagine a child who uses your loo is going to say you abused them. I mean, seriously, what are the chances of this happening?

RebelRogue · 03/04/2017 17:23

Trifle. Is "I feel sorry for your/her kids " on the list too? It's my favourite

harderandharder2breathe · 03/04/2017 17:23

YABU

she's 7. She needs a wee. You should point her to your bathroom and let her get on with it.

If you were extremely paranoid you could get your DD to stay with you as a witness that nothing inappropriate happened.

Trifleorbust · 03/04/2017 17:24

RebelRogue:

It could be

'Picky tea' is also going on the list.

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:25

Soubriquet- but that's not necessarily because he was a man surely? I had a "what you fucking looking at" from some skanky lowlife in a supermarket because I smiled at her baby. It's not because I'm a child abuser, it's because she was an aggressive nasty cunt.

frieda909 · 03/04/2017 17:25

Hmm.

If a child whose parents I didn't really know asked to use my loo, I wouldn't feel very comfortable inviting them in. I wouldn't be worried about them accusing me of anything, though. I'd just feel like it wasn't very appropriate having them in my home without their parents' permission.

But if they're playing in your garden then I assume they're already at your place with their parents' permission - is that right? If so, then I think it's a bit over-cautious to send them home to use the loo purely out of concern about abuse accusations.

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2017 17:25

If I'm reading the op correctly, these kids live in the street and just happen to have strayed into her front garden to play; they're not her kids friends who have been invited over?
If that's the case, it may well be weird to have them trooping in to your house rather than simply nipping home. If you don't know the parents, they might not appreciate them going into someone else's house while playing out.

Soubriquet · 03/04/2017 17:27

Yep it was because he was a man.

The mother even said it. Now I know dh looks a bit dodgy. He has a lot of tattoos and can look a bit "thuggy" but he was truly hurt to be accused of anything

Trifleorbust · 03/04/2017 17:29

If the parents have a big problem with the child using your loo, you might want to ask them what the fuck they are doing letting their child play unsupervised in your garden.

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:29

Perhaps it was the OP. Or the other paranoid people on MN these days.

I'm sure he was hurt, there used to be a male MNer who virtually had the police called on him for eating his sandwich in the car near a playing field a few years ago. Unfortunately, you can't cure stupid.

Evangelinda · 03/04/2017 17:30

I work with children and young people and to me this is a potential safeguarding issue and the OP is right to think through the risks. If this is a friend of your DC's then there is something more of a connection with the parent but if you don't have DCs and these are children coming into your garden uninvited I would be very careful - I might even be inclined to not let them do that any more, or at least have a talk with the parents about who takes responsibility etc etc.

Unfortunately it doesn't need a child making an actual allegation of abuse to cause a problem, only a child saying something entirely innocent that is misinterpreted by others and suddenly a person is being whispered about even if nothing official has happened.

As for "this day and age" we live in very litigious times and people can suddenly do very strange things if they think their child is being looked after by someone else and an accident occurs, even if they have no right to think their child is being looked after.

Whattodo23 · 03/04/2017 17:31

To clarify. My kids are in garden they ask if they can come in. I don't know if their parents know they are in my garden. Maybe I am being paranoid, I certainly don't think the little girl would make up a lie just that she could say something which could suggest something terrible. Anyway the majority think I am bu but as they don't live far I will be sending them home regardless. Thank you for your input

OP posts:

eddiemairswife · 03/04/2017 17:33

Do they use your front garden as a general playground, or have you got a child they are playing with in your front garden? If the latter let them have a wee. Why on earth not?

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:35

Evangelinda. So do I. I'm head safeguard officer at my school.

It's bonkers.

Absintheshots · 03/04/2017 17:35

I'm fucking appalled at the amount of people on here who think children routinely make false abuse allegations.

It's not really the children I am worried about.

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:35

Perhaps they could widdle in the shrubbery?

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2017 17:36

This thread will go the way of the "seriously, you wouldn't let the postman in for a crap? Have you no humanity?" threads... I wouldn't have let her, op. But then I don't let the postman in either. Or the window cleaner.
I'm just not nice.

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ButtercupChain · 03/04/2017 17:40

No reason at all for her to not use the loo.

RebelRogue · 03/04/2017 17:42

Flogging I don't let the postman either,or delivery man or woman,or the cable guy or whatever. I do let kids pee though.

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2017 17:45

To clarify. My kids are in garden they ask if they can come in. I don't know if their parents know they are in my garden

Surely the safeguarding issue brigade would have just as much of a problem with that, than the kid taking a quick pee?

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