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AIBU?

To not let neighbour use the toilet

130 replies

Whattodo23 · 03/04/2017 16:34

I regularly have a couple of kids from street playing in my garden, just say hello to parents, don't know them well at all. One child needs a wee aibu to send her home? Don't feel right letting her use toilet given she is 7, I think. Husband is not at home but still it doesn't sit right

OP posts:

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Darbs76 · 03/04/2017 16:58

Of course I'd let a child use my toilet. Why on earth would you object?

Porpoiselife · 03/04/2017 16:59

Not that she would deliberately lie but things could be misconstrued.

How can 'yes the toilet is over there', be miscontrued? Are you planning on watching her wee? Letting your OH watch her wee? WTF has your OH being at home got to do with a child using your toilet?

How bloody weird. The child is playing at your house, of course let her use the loo. How on earth is that a safeguarding issue?

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2017 16:59

Are the kids just playing in your garden, as opposed to having been invited over for an actual play date? If she lives a few doors down and she just happens to be in your front garden, I'd probably send her home.

GavelRavel · 03/04/2017 17:00

Hang on,are you saying you don't let your kids friends go to the loo when they are over playing if your partner is in the house. That's not usual. At all. I think like everyone else, it would make me think you were worried about your partner doing something inappropriate.

Whattodo23 · 03/04/2017 17:00

Yes playing in garden uninvited.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2017 17:00

It's a safeguarding issue.

FFS that has to be the most popular phrase on MN for 2017 and we're only just about 4 months into the year.

It's a neighbour's kid taking a pee.

ralphi · 03/04/2017 17:01

Is this the very first time a "guest" child has had to do a wee at yours? To be honest that seems strange.

Porpoiselife · 03/04/2017 17:01

Did you let her use your toilet in the end then OP or did you send her home/let her piss herself?

Floggingmolly · 03/04/2017 17:02

Well, that's a bit different. You'll have the whole street trooping in if you start a precedent. But why did you feel the need to mention your partner, as if he might be a threat?

BarbarianMum · 03/04/2017 17:02

You think something inappropriate would happen to a child using your toilet? Or you think children routinely lie about things like that? Either is deeply disturbing tbh.

happypoobum · 03/04/2017 17:03

Mouth hanging open here...........

OP what do you do if children come round to play and want to use the loo? Do you send them home?

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2017 17:04

Can you imagine the way kids put things and how it could get confused for something sinister? Its hardly an impossibility.

Like, "I was playing in a neighbour's garden and the neighbour touched me"?

I don't get your logic at all. If you feel so strongly that letting a kid take a pee is a 'safeguarding issue', surely playing in your garden is too?

ShatnersBassoon · 03/04/2017 17:04

Not that she would deliberately lie but things could be misconstrued.

You need to be checking your own behaviour or paranoia levels if you have a real concern that a neighbour's child might be able to retell an event as everyday as being pointed towards the toilet that indicates you'd molested them.

Porpoiselife · 03/04/2017 17:04

Yes playing in garden uninvited.

Playing with your child? Or do neighbourhood children just randomly let themselves into your garden to play?

PinkFlamingo545 · 03/04/2017 17:08

what the hell??

Itmustbemyage · 03/04/2017 17:11

Do you forbid your DC's to go to the toilet in anyone else's house?
Does it make a difference if the dad is there or not? Does an older brother count?
Do you put your DC's in pull ups just in case they can't make it home while playing at a friends house?

It's all a bit crazy IMO

Whattodo23 · 03/04/2017 17:13

Shatners paranoid I am. I gathered. Thanks

OP posts:

mypoordoggie · 03/04/2017 17:13

Who's the silly sausage saying its a safeguarding issue?

RebelRogue · 03/04/2017 17:14

I have lots of kids over to play with DD. They started coming since they were 3 so potty trained,but still a bit wobbly. I did help them on,i wiped bums,i changed a child completely after an accident, i assisted a kid when their mum couldn't and so on. No one ever even raised an eyebrow. It's a kid having a wee ffs.
Do you not let any kids that are not your own wee in your house? What about playdates/sleepoverS?

But I'm with you with arriving uninvited ,and I would've promptly send a kid home for that,and have done so.

JorahsMissus · 03/04/2017 17:14

I learnt my lesson never to let kids use your loo even it if seems a bit mean. I let DS2's friend use ours once when they were about 5 and he wiped shit on my walls. Who fucking does that?? From then on I tell my kids no, their friends all live in the same street as us and are old enough to take notice of their body's signs they will need the loo so they can scoot home.

It wouldn't have occurred to me to wonder about 'safe guarding' though.

WorraLiberty · 03/04/2017 17:14

@ 'silly sausage'

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:15

I'm just working it all out here.

Cos dd had 3 friends over last Tuesday, and tbh, I can't remember if any of them went to the loo or not. But dp was definitely home before they went home.

I'm just trying to get to a point in my own little head where any of them may have said to their parents even the fact they went to the loo in the first place... Do children go home and tell their parents if they went to the loo normally? Mine doesn't. I've never asked her if she's been to anyone's loo. Or indeed if any of the dads have been present.

Am I a bad mother?

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MeadowDream · 03/04/2017 17:15

Back garden or front?
If they are playing in your back garden (presumably with your own dcs) then yes let her have a wee. If they are just playing in the street and on your front then no I'd tell her to go home if it was close enough.

VintagePerfumista · 03/04/2017 17:16

Oh! Just seen I'm talking shit.

I might take that as a compliment from this OP, tbh.

Absintheshots · 03/04/2017 17:17

YANBU

with the weirdos you see on here, I would absolutely not let a near-unknown child in my house. People can accuse you of anything this day. My male friends don't even dare giving a lift back to the babysitter nowadays.

When you see the dirty look a man gets when he dares going to a baby clinic or a playgroup, no wonder they are careful of the local harpies. The advice given to anyone involved with children, and even more so if they are male (sport, after club by parents etc..) is to never ever touch a child. Letting them in your home and your bathroom is madness, I wouldn't risk it either.

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