to 'make do and mend'

[Blinkybell]

We've had some friends to stay this weekend. Arrived late afternoon on Friday and left this afternoon and they've managed to really upset me.

On Saturday morning, DD was bunging her uniform in the washing machine when she asked if I could mend her blazer and PE skort. The pocket on her blazer had a hole in and a seam on her skort had come undone.

Friend said 'mend? Really? Why not just buy a new one?'

Because blazers are £35 and both jobs will take 10 minutes max

She said you could buy skorts in Matalan for a fiver, so I said yes, but it'll take 2 minutes to fix the seam and about 2p in cotton.

Her and her DH then fell about laughing, calling me Granny Blinky, saying 'make do and mend' in silly voices and just generally carrying on like they're the next big thing in stand up comedy.

Then she said - seriously though, aren't the kids embarrassed? I suppose you darn socks too (actually, yes, if it's just something simple like a hole in the toe, I do repair socks and tights).

DD asked what she should be embarrassed about and they went quiet.

I'm quite crafty and have made lots of stuff in our house - curtains, cushion covers, quilts for the kids, etc.

I'm knitting a big cuddly blanket at the moment. We were going out for breakfast this morning and while waiting for everyone to get ready, I knitted a couple of rows. Comments about granny Blinky again and how it's a 'real war effort round here' while standing there laughing at me.

When they left they said they were 'only joking' but I'm quite hurt by it. I don't mind a bit of banter, but this felt unpleasant - was all laugh/laugh/funny/funny at my expense.

I won't be inviting them back ever anytime soon

[goose1964]

Ignore them, perhaps mention you can get something nice with the money like a shed load of wine🍶🍶. I can see and do repairs but I have to be in the mood

[Ifionlyknewthenwhatiknownow3]

She probably hasn't even got a needle and thread in the house. You could send her over a simple kit and very basic instructions to get started herself.

[SomewhatIdiosyncratic]

It's definitely worth mending things that are in an otherwise good condition.

DS has a logoed school cardigan that the buttons came off very quickly for some reason (the others were fine!) They've been sewn back on, although one of the 3 that came off went missing. Much less bother than trying to send it back. I also sewed over the remaining button. Those buttons aren't going anywhere now!

I'm not great at sewing, but a simple repair like that is a basic skill. I need to have another go at trying to thread my darned sewing machine, I have jeans to take up!

[fruityb]

I sew, mend, crochet and repair! I make a lot of my own clothes when I can, I saw up and fix anything that can be and I bloody love crocheting!

[ALittleMop]

Oh my god did you not tell them attitudes like that are why our kids and grandkids are going to be living with our generations landfill till it chokes them?

Anyway make do and mend is cool again now.repair cafe

[LumelaMme]

I've actually got a small pile of mending awaiting my attention this evening.

OP, your ex-friends are plonkers.

[Shallishanti]

exactly, ALittleMop- this kind of attitude is why the planet's resources are over stretched. They have been tricked by advertising/business/capitalism (whatever you want to call it) into buying stuff they don't need, madness. They should talk to people who grew up in WW2, they properly valued stuff. And that's not even to start thinking about it being satisfying to mend and create.
Squanderbugs, that's what they are

[unlucky83]

Another saying I repair things all the time - if anything breaks I will have a go - sewing but also appliances etc and if I couldn't do it and someone else could for a reasonable price I would (in general) pay for a repair...
And it is about the environment rather than cost...
DD1 I could guarantee on the first wearing of a pair of thick school tights she would put her knee through them. So I sewed them up a few times not because they were £2 or whatever but because of the amount of resources that had gone into making them, packaging them and transporting them ...just for them to end up in the bin after being worn for less than a day. I did the same with DD2s ballet tights.
And I have re dyed DD's black jeans - only thing wrong with them were they were slightly faded and she wouldn't wear them - a £8 pot of machine dye and as good as new.
One of the things I find annoying is you can't get spare parts now. I remember my dad used to replace the elements in kettles and irons - you just can't get them now - they are so cheap to buy new it isn't worth it.
Actually I like Hasbro games because of that - if you find you have lost/broken a part they will (or used to at least) be able to send you the part for a small cost towards postage...supermarket versions or even ELC ones - you can't get replacement parts.
(I stopped buying ELC things because of this - we had an ELC Manic Martians game handed into for a toy sale (for a charity) - several of the martians were missing. We decided we couldn't really sell it as it was so I tried to get spare ones from ELC but couldn't. The whole game was going in the bin ...then I found someone on ebay selling just the martians - they had broken the main bit - So for a couple of quid we saved it from the bin ....and could sell it for the charity )

[MrsMozart]

They're idiots on all levels.

[Hulder]

Socks and tights no. Anything else - absolutely!

I bought massively expensive bed linen 10 years ago. It's held it's colour, they don't make it any more and it's a big feature of the room.

All buttons have been resewn, buttonholes reinforced, it's easily got another 5 years in it, probably more. It's probably been more economical in the long run than buying a cheap set.

If I didn't mend DH's clothes we would be buying him new jumpers every month.

[diddl]

As you say Op, it's not always about money-often it's easier to mend than replace.

I can't think that throwing away rather than mending is anything to be proud of.

[Trb17]

Seriously they are the joke aren't they. If something can be mended of course that's what you do. What sort of idiot would bin a school blazer rather than repair a pocket! Clearly they are a bit gormless and simple repairs are probably beyond their skills. You could have taken the mick out of them for being mugs with money! Idiots. Glad you won't have them back.

[StandardPoodle]

You are sensible and practical and they are idiots! I've always mended clothes where possible and am eyeing my current knitting as I type. Your way is kinder to the environment, saves money - win-win.

[lazyarse123]

I wish i could do what you do. My daughter is quite tall and spends a lot of time making frilly edges for her dresses to get them the length she wants (she obviously doesn't get this skill from me). Your ex-friends are quite clearly arseholes and you are better off without them. Your daughter sounds great too.

[highinthesky]

Your friends are plain ignorant.

The best thing you can do is pass your life skills on to your children.

[SerialReJoiner]

Mending things is a normal part of life, surely!! The other week, my 13yo DD was heading out but her skirt seam came undone. I handed her a needle and thread and she mended it in the car on her way. Easy peasy.

The thought of mocking someone for being frugal, creative and/or crafty is bizarre. They are not your friends.

[beadyboo]

I'd be impressed rather than mocking. I can (badly) sew on a button or brownie badge but that's about my limit.
Is there a class that you could go to, to learn basics like taking up hems or taking in seams? Anything I've seen is either very crafty or making clothes from scratch.

[RedBugMug]

if I didn't mend dd's school tights I would need to buy new ones every week...

[Foslady]

Oh I get it - stay as a freebie at your place in a poplar place to go to so you can save your money to waste by not doing simple repairs......

Suggest next time they say about staying you tell the if they can afford to replace things that take 2 minutes to mend they can afford a hotel......

[Mrsglitterfairy]

Your 'friend' sounds like a bit of a nob! I'll be honest and I would just have bought new although I can't always afford it, simply because I wouldn't know where to start mending things Wish I did though

[yorkshirepuddingandroastbeef]

Complete idiots

I had a similar scenario (not sewing related) with my best friend ripping me a shred about something in our house. It happened several times. She hasn't been invited here since.

[Enidblyton1]

They are idiots! It's cheaper and less damaging to the environment to mend things. I feel sorry for them - they obviously weren't taught how to do these things by their parents. Never too late to learn though. Next time (if there is a next time!) offer to teach them

[GoodyGoodyGumdrops]

I used to go to a coffee morning with a group of friends in a local cafe, and we would often knit or crochet or handsew while chatting. Another mum would often drop by at the same time, grace us with her presence, and at some point always look at me with great surprise and say "You knit? (or crochet etc) Oh, I could never do that - it's far too grandmotherly." And if she saw me repairing something "What a waste! Only grannies do that. Just by a new one. That's what I would do."

Just confirmed what I suspected of her: she's an arrogant cow and not worth any effort.

[mnpeasantry]

They sound like shallow fools. Leave aside the cost/time benefit of repairing rather than replacing, the ecological aspect should be the clincher. There are just some basic nobs that like ridiculing people. As pp said, fuck em. They sound so pathetic and good on your daughter for standing up to the bullies who tried to make her feel ashamed.