about who should pay for breakage?

[thefairyfellersmasterstroke]

It's teenagers...

DS (17) at a houseparty on Saturday with GF (also 17), at Friend1's house. Friends 1 & 2 are both 18. There was a bit of alcohol involved. DS and GF were in Friend1's bedroom (what they were or weren't doing is not the issue) and as the door apparently doesn't close properly, DS had propped a chair behind it. Friends 1 & 2 decided to invade the bedroom for a laugh, and started trying to push the door open. DS pushed back, but they pushed even harder. DS then put a couple of other things against the door to stop them, including a rolled-up rug. Lots of hysterical shoving back and forth until Friend2 decided to try to punch the door open, but when he did, his fist went right through it.

This seemed to sober them all up, and DS started hurriedly removing the things he'd put behind the door so they could assess the full damage. He propped the rug up again where he had found it , but when the door was opened the rug slipped sideways, knocking the TV over and cracking the top corner. It still works, but the display is badly lined. DS doesn't think he is 100% to blame, but said he will pay for a new TV, which Friend1 has said will cost £350.

DS had no intention of telling me or DH about all this, only he had a bit of trouble making the bank transfer to Friend1 and asked for help, which is how I found out. I would not let him make the payment straight away, as in my opinion there are a few other factors to consider first, such as whether the household insurance will cover accidental damage, whether it can be repaired rather than replaced, and whether DS should cover the full cost himself. He wants to, as he doesn't want his friend to be without his TV, and feels he's an adult and is doing the responsible thing but I dont think just handing over £350 without hesitation is the solution.

I don't want to teach him to shirk his responsibilities, but I also don't want him to automatically shoulder the burden of paying without it being clear how much that should be.

Friend1's mother was possibly away on holiday at the time (she definitely is now); her boyfriend may or may not have been present - DS didn't see either of them at all on the night this happened. No-one seems to be bothered about the hole in the door, just the TV. I collected the TV today and took it to a repair shop to get their opinion and estimate, which I'll receive tomorrow, but I'm not sure that DS should be paying for all of this himself.

AIBU, or should I just let my DS pay up for a new TV, and think he's done the grown-up thing? He thinks I'm being VERY unreasonable.

[Lunar1]

Your son is right to want to pay, I don't know why you are so involved. He shouldn't have barricaded himself in someone else's house.

[movpov]

Your son is trying to do the right thing and take responsibility so i don't agree you should have stopped him from making the transfer although it would be good if everyone chipped in. The parents should not have to claim on their insurance and potentially see their premiums rise, and you have no business taking an item from someone else's house for a repair estimate without their knowledge. Someone mentioned getting a cheap second hand replacement - any replacement should be like for like

[notcreative23]

I definitely think your DS should be paying part of the money for the replacement TV. However unless it's a large TV that was brand new £350 sounds ridiculous. Sounds like his friend is trying to use your DS to get a better TV.
Value of items decrease over time so even if he had paid £350 for it, it isn't worth that now. Get him a secondhand TV and say they can split the cost.

Also no one just goes up to someone else's room to be intimate without their permission. Friend 1 and 2 were being completely inappropriate with trying to barge in. Presumably friends provided the alcohol and they also instigated the incident so all parties should be considered responsible.

[PinkSlipperQueen]

OP your son sounds very responsible to offer to pay (apart from the messing around ) i think the cost should be divide by all involved though. Why should the parents have to claim it on their insurance at their cost?