It's teenagers...
DS (17) at a houseparty on Saturday with GF (also 17), at Friend1's house. Friends 1 & 2 are both 18. There was a bit of alcohol involved. DS and GF were in Friend1's bedroom (what they were or weren't doing is not the issue) and as the door apparently doesn't close properly, DS had propped a chair behind it. Friends 1 & 2 decided to invade the bedroom for a laugh, and started trying to push the door open. DS pushed back, but they pushed even harder. DS then put a couple of other things against the door to stop them, including a rolled-up rug. Lots of hysterical shoving back and forth until Friend2 decided to try to punch the door open, but when he did, his fist went right through it.
This seemed to sober them all up, and DS started hurriedly removing the things he'd put behind the door so they could assess the full damage. He propped the rug up again where he had found it , but when the door was opened the rug slipped sideways, knocking the TV over and cracking the top corner. It still works, but the display is badly lined. DS doesn't think he is 100% to blame, but said he will pay for a new TV, which Friend1 has said will cost £350.
DS had no intention of telling me or DH about all this, only he had a bit of trouble making the bank transfer to Friend1 and asked for help, which is how I found out. I would not let him make the payment straight away, as in my opinion there are a few other factors to consider first, such as whether the household insurance will cover accidental damage, whether it can be repaired rather than replaced, and whether DS should cover the full cost himself. He wants to, as he doesn't want his friend to be without his TV, and feels he's an adult and is doing the responsible thing but I dont think just handing over £350 without hesitation is the solution.
I don't want to teach him to shirk his responsibilities, but I also don't want him to automatically shoulder the burden of paying without it being clear how much that should be.
Friend1's mother was possibly away on holiday at the time (she definitely is now); her boyfriend may or may not have been present - DS didn't see either of them at all on the night this happened. No-one seems to be bothered about the hole in the door, just the TV. I collected the TV today and took it to a repair shop to get their opinion and estimate, which I'll receive tomorrow, but I'm not sure that DS should be paying for all of this himself.
AIBU, or should I just let my DS pay up for a new TV, and think he's done the grown-up thing? He thinks I'm being VERY unreasonable.
AIBU?
about who should pay for breakage?
thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 13/03/2017 19:27
Not hiding at all! Being 17 doesn't mean you have the wisdom to cope with everything that happens to you,
But he DID cope and made a thoughtful choice. 
He came to the decision that he was responsible and should therefore pay for his actions. Why are you sticking your oar in?
It's all well and good your son taking responsibility but that doesn't mean he should be taken for a mug - they were all involved in the various breakages.
But I think in that situation, as the homeowner I would be claiming on my insurance and hoping the other parents involved would cough up some of the excess. Presumably they allowed a load of teenagers to have an unsupervised party so they must have known there was a risk of it getting out of hand - which is why I would never allow it in the first place - it's completely nuts.
A friend of mine allowed her teen DD to do similar and came home at the end. Everything seemed reasonably tidy until she went up to bed, pulled back her duvet and found a huge pile of sick and two used condoms 
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