To wonder what's wrong with dressing girls as girls

[sparklymarmite]

I've name changed but really hoping someone can explain why you wouldn't dress a little girl in girly clothes if that's what they want? There is a little girl in my daughters class always dressed in gender neutral or boyish clothes - I feel so sad for her because she is always looking at the other girls in pretty things. If she visits other people's houses she always wants to wear their dresses and gets upset when it's time to take them off. It's probably made worse because her best friend is very girly and her mum always dresses her beautifully. Her mum seems obsessed about avoiding anything revealing but they're only 6. If anyone else is like this please help me to understand why you would do this. I'm not particularly close to this family but it makes me feel sad to see.

[Kennington]

Pink and sparkly and frilly dresses are just excellent marketing getting people to buy more stuff
It's fine but it is overkill
The pink thing is also really targeted at a certain demographic and is very uk and American - I don't see it on continental Europe as much.
As a result it is becoming a class indicator here. And everyone likes to be rude about people with no taste!
My kid has a mix of outfits but I internally cringe at the pink flouncey stuff.

[NerrSnerr]

My mum used to avoid pink and 'girlie' clothes and toys at all cost. I used to wish for the pretty dresses (and the hot pink NaffCo coat a friend had) but pink was deemed as inferior. When we were 'choosing' clothes and toys in shops she'd say 'oh this blue one is much better than the pink one' and influence it that way. It did lead me to think that girls who wore dresses or lots of pink were inferior in some way, as if being 'feminine' was a bad thing. When I got to my late teens I went the other way and everything I bought was pink to rebel.

Now as an adult I don't give a shit, i wear any colour and don't put higher value on some colours more then others. I have a 2 year old girl and she wears all colours, her favourite item at the moment is a pink Disney princess hoodie that she proudly tells everyone it has fairies on it. She wears a mixture of dresses and leggings and tops. She likes dresses as she likes to wear tights. I personally find that cotton dresses don't seem to impinge on playing at all.

[troodiedoo]

I always had to wear my older brothers hand me downs, occasionally I'd get hand me downs from mums friends that were girls clothes. Added to the fact that I had a shaved head for medical reasons it didn't endear me to other kids, but it didn't do me any harm either.

[heron98]

No, she actively avoids pink as a principle. She believes, as Nerrsnerr's mother did that wearing pink makes you inferior.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

My DS was born the same month as my niece. She always was dressed in sparkly frilly dresses that looked sweet but we're the most impractical things to dress a toddler in. While my son was learning to climb, run and jump, she was told off for anything that might get her dirty and not allowed to play. She's now hugely into dinosaurs and not allowed to go fossil hunting in case she ruins her dresses. I'm so sad at the thought she's being taught that her interests come in second to how she looks.

[BarbarianMum]

It depends what you're doing and the length and fullness of the skirt imo. I run forest activities and find full skirts tend to get tangled in bushes, brakes and branches. Long skirts make getting up from kneeling difficult (a lot of bushcraft involved squatting or kneeling). And nylon princess dresses are a complete no- no near campfires - go up like a torch. We now provide guidance on clothing and hair to parents as so many turn up with unsuitable dressed girls children.

Obviously these are extremes but I've seen little girls caught up on slides and climbing frames by their skirts too.

[stoopido]

I don't really care what others dress their children in. My 7 year has suddenly declared she hates pink....but then yesterday she wouldn't leave the shop because she wanted me to buy her a pink skirt she'd seen! I always find it really odd that people sit there judging others all day.

[SleepyHeadThisTime]

I was that kid. I was dressed in my brothers hand me downs and charity shop bargains - both fair enough as money was tight. However my DM would actively avoid anything considered feminine - pink, skirts, dresses, frills etc were met with a 'yuck!' And discarded. I also remember being quite little and asking for a Barbie as a birthday present - in return I got a lecture about the evils of dollies perpetuating gender expectations. Fair point but at 6 I was a bit !

As I got older I felt like I was made an example of and I've rebelled - I like to feel feminine and don't consider it a weakness or a slight against feminism. I very rarely wear trousers, I blow dry my hair, wear makeup and even own the odd pink garment (😮), much to my mothers disapproval.

Whilst I think it can be harmful to perpetuate some expectations around gender (I.e. Girls must wear pink, mustn't play in the dirt etc) it can be just as harmful to go to the other extreme (girls mustn't Wear pink, must play with diggers not dollies etc).

Surely the issue here is that kids should be able to define themselves rather than having their sense of self dictated my others expectations, gender related or otherwise.

[PointxTaken]

reallyanotherone
I am not assuming anything, I know that the mum is strongly opposed to pink and had made it clear when she was pregnant that her child would not wear pink and not to buy girly outfits for her ever. She has always been very vocal against Barbie dolls. I also know that pink and glitter are all her daughter wants to wear, and Barbie dolls her favourite toys. I just find it very funny.

[PointxTaken]

I wore dress, and I climbed trees. My daughters wear dresses, or their brothers old clothes,and climb trees. I wear red, or shocking pink, nail varnish, and I fight in a boxing ring. Nothing wrong with being girly.

[ArcheryAnnie]

If you are a girl and doing an activity, then that activity is "girly", whether it is boxing or applying nail polish.

[Majorgoodwinschickenbeatstrump]

From my experience, it doesn't matter how you try and dress them, they form their own ideas about colors and styles by 6 anyway. From day one I've bought every type of clothing- she will wear every type and color but always goes on about 'pink being for girls'- this has not come from me! They listen to each other rather than us. If I bought anything with dinosaurs/ Thomas/ 'boy' themed then I know it just wouldn't be worn.

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

There's nothing wrong with dresses and there's nothing wrong with trousers.

There's a lot wrong with 'feeling sorry' for a kid because they're always dressed in trousers. Catch a grip of yourself seriously.

[PointxTaken]

The OP doesn't seem upset about the trousers, but more by the fact that the little girl clearly would love to wear dresses.

[Bluebellevergreen]

There is a little girl in my daughters class always dressed in gender neutral or boyish clothes - I feel so sad for her because she is always looking at the other girls in pretty things.
Are you serious?

How do you know this? I was a girl that wore girl things = clothes.

I was never into dresses, not until my 30s and I would look at clothes other girl wore and maybe thought they were pretty but not for me.

You feel sorry because she is dressed in "boyish stuff" whatever that means??!!!

You need a reality check OP.

I felt sorry for the children I worked with that were so malnurished and weak they would have a cloud of flies around them. They had some clothes to keep them dressed and they were happy with that.

Seriously. It seems like YOU want to see little girls in dresses. Your issue really

[Bluebellevergreen]

What Felicia said, I couldnt say it so well myself

[Rugbyplayersarehot]

flippin yes what was itchy? I think I remember netting around a dress collar that made my 6 yeapld neck itchy and red. Hated it.

[Lweji]

I feel so sad for her because she is always looking at the other girls in pretty things

To be fair, she could be looking at them and wondering WTF.

[flippinada]

I remember a tight collar with lace edging that was really tight and uncomfortable.

Also, our school uniform was a hideous static-y bri-nylon turquoise polo neck which has given me a lifelong hatred of any and all polo necked garments.

[Notanotherpawpatrol]

My dd2 is 5, she has high functioning autism. To look at her you wouldn't know, to talk to her you may not pick up on the clues, however she struggles with alot of things, clothes is one of them.
She wears mainly boys clothes because they aren't frilly or itchy. She loves girls clothes and always wants to wear dresses, and skirts and all things frilly, but as her mum I have to say no. I know that she really struggles with these things, she will wear it for an hour at most and have a melt down because it's uncomfortable.
She loves dressing up at other people's houses and has her own dress up clothes, and is always sad when it's time to go, but the majority of the time she is dressed in more gender neutral clothing mostly from the boys section.

[Zoflorabore]

My dd is 6, she is not particularly fond of
Pink at all, her favourite colour is yellow.

As a baby she was dressed mainly in pink and I think that was the " novelty " of having an 8 year age gap between her and ds but I soon realised that she really suited navy/red/white and went with that for ages.

I dress her in a combination of Oilily which is a Dutch brand that was established in the 60's as parents were fed up of having the choice of blue for boys and pink for girls.

The colours are bright/colourful and the more mismatched the better! It is expensive but washes well and lasts and lasts.

Alternatively my dd will wear a football kit, she has our team one plus various foreign ones and adores them.
She also has a lot of input into what she wears, it she wants to wear a football kit with sparkly pumps and a hair bow then she can, she's not a doll and has her own mind.

She has only worn jeans once in her life as hates them.