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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be jealous of DH for sleeping soundly

31 replies

QueenofLouisiana · 14/02/2017 02:38

I know I am U, but I am so jealous. I want to sleep soundly all night, pretty much every night.

I woke up at 1.50 this morning, 3am yesterday, 4am the day before. I just want to sleep! I couldn't tell you the last time I slept all night- just after Xmas maybe?

OP posts:
user1477282676 · 14/02/2017 02:45

What strategies have you explored?

My DH was like you for years. Then he gave up coffee entirely and also stopped eating after 6.00pm.

He listens to relaxing music or to meditation on his phone as he drifts off and he's been so much better.

PicardsCombOver · 14/02/2017 02:55

YANBU at all Op
I'm posting this at 2:56am for the same reason, it's a git Sad

Original poster
QueenofLouisiana · 14/02/2017 03:10

I listen to podcasts or audiobooks to go to sleep. Falling asleep isn't usually the issue- it's staying asleep. I wake up, sure it must be an ok time, but it really isn't.then my brain kicks in -and that's it: whirring away.

The not eating thing would be a problem, I'm rarely home before 6. I am happy to give up the caffeine after say 4pm and try to cut down generally.

DH still snoring away. Would kicking him be U?

OP posts:
ScarlettFreestone · 14/02/2017 03:11

I hate to say it but looking at a screen in the middle of the night will absolutely not help.

The bright lights get all the synapses in your brain firing away making you even more awake.

user1477282676 · 14/02/2017 03:36

Listening to music or something doesn't mean you're looking at the screen Scarlett

ItsAMessyLife · 14/02/2017 03:40

Listening to music or something doesn't mean you're looking at the screen Scarlett

But posting on mumsnet does!

hmcAsWas · 14/02/2017 03:44

Similar to you OP - although for me mercifully I get spells of good sleep in between periods of night time waking

hmcAsWas · 14/02/2017 03:47

My phone is set to switch to night time settings (warmer tones etc) between 21.00 and 7.00. Perhaps op's is similar

...and one has to do something. Can't just lie there obsessing about being awake

ExpectoPatronummmm · 14/02/2017 03:49

My OH was hits the pillow and he's asleep, no exaggeration.
But then he snores all night causing me to lay here wide awake plotting his murder.
I'm 35 weeks pregnant and have to get up at 6.15am for work.
Grrrrrr!!!!

Popskipiekin · 14/02/2017 03:54

I now have a baby to wake me up but when not looking after a small child I'm exactly like you OP and always have been - can't remember a time I've slept through the night (what hope for my child??). I also get to sleep with audiobooks - I wonder if it's connected? If we could learn to fall asleep without that, would we be less likely to wake up (wondering where our nice audiobook had got to?)? I almost always go for a wee when I wake up in the middle of the night, simply because why not. But I wonder again whether I should train myself out of this.

Olympiathequeen · 14/02/2017 03:57

It's 3.55 am now so I fully understand insomnia. Just wake him up with a quiet dig every now and then and deny all knowledge. I've stopped stressing about it most of the time and just have tea and toast in the middle of the night and listen to the radio. iPad is not a good idea. MN either

Original poster
QueenofLouisiana · 14/02/2017 07:30

I know I shouldn't be looking at a screen!! The irony of that is that all screens are banned for an hour before bed for DS! Last night I finally hit the end of being able to lie awake doing nothing- can't get up to make a drink as DS would probably get up, the dog would decide its time for breakfast etc.

In the end I listened to 45 mins of a new book- Jilly Cooper, so it didn't make me "think"- and o finally drifted off about 4.30am. I feel like rubbish now though.

DH- still snoring away. Envy

OP posts:
NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 14/02/2017 08:46

Dh falls asleep instantly too, and is almost impossible to wake (which is really helpful with a baby/toddler in the house! Hmm )

I'm pregnant so spent much of last night being kept awake by toddler crying out / dh snoring / baby kicking / needing to pee. Angry

There's not even much point in waking dh to see to dc - it takes so much effort to get him awake that I could have gone and done it myself and been back in bed before he's even awake!

TheNaze73 · 14/02/2017 09:06

Are you doing anything physical for an hour a do or so? I think you should break the cycle & maybe run, spin or do kettle bells for an hour. You'll be knackered to begin with but, will get the benefits within a week.

OneMillionScovilles · 14/02/2017 09:40

Eating protein a couple of hours before bed helps you to stay asleep... (and might help with the oomph needed for Naze's kettle bells!)

Chloe84 · 14/02/2017 09:48

I find setting an alarm for the morning helps.

I also wake up sometimes and think 'it must be 7am'. If I've set the alarm, I tell myself not to worry about the time. I also put on a sleeping mask at night and have blackout curtains.

user1473069303 · 14/02/2017 11:56

I feel your pain as I often get insomnia, which goes on for weeks at a time. Then when I finally start to sleep I sometimes get night after night of very vivid dreams which also leave me feeling shattered the next day. Arrrgh.

youvegottobekidding · 14/02/2017 13:39

YANBU. It makes me incredibly jealous that OH can fall asleep & be snoring within seconds. Anywhere. On the sofa, the floor, the bed, a chair. He rarely makes it to the end of a movie! While I lay awake and it feels like ages to drift off. I can't remember the last time I had 'a good nights sleep!'.

stopgap · 14/02/2017 19:52

I tried everything under the sun, but my early rising was related to my autoimmune disease, nothing to be done, and I sleep like a log now on sleeping pills. Worth it for me, as I'm a beast on less than seven hours sleep.

I have so much sympathy for you.

user892 · 14/02/2017 20:08

Take calcium supplements at bedtime. Works a treat for me - it helps release melatonin.

user892 · 14/02/2017 20:13

Magnesium as well.

Resurgam2016 · 14/02/2017 20:18

I am an intermittent but lifetime insomniac. It's my understanding that sleep is a habit so, if you've lost the habit you need to retrain your body.

In my case this is done with sleeping tablets; x2-3 days in a row knocks me out and keeps me asleep. It works.

How about visiting your GP?

Lifeonthefarm · 15/02/2017 08:27

Someone told me once to get up, eat some cereal or similar and try again to go to sleep. It did actually work and I certainly didn't thgink I was hungry.

HermioneJeanGranger · 15/02/2017 08:32

I read once that if you lie awake for more than 20/30 minutes, you need to get up and do something. Lying in bed unable to sleep makes it worse - so get up and do something - read, walk the dog, wash the dishes, work out, whatever, and try again 30 minutes later.

It works for me, but I did alongside cutting caffeine in the evenings and doing more exercise. Being physically shattered stopped my mind from being able to wander as much!

Original poster
QueenofLouisiana · 15/02/2017 16:39

Well, I got DH to engage in some exercise with me last night and I slept like a log for a 6hr stretch- the longest in weeks. DH has assured me of his full support for this strategy as much as needed Grin.

TBF I did also cut out caffeine and try to eat earlier!

OP posts:
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