Wedding Gift, Afternoon Tea and Skegness.

[HairsprayBabe]

Posting for traffic.

DP's best mate is getting married.

They asked for money in the card as they wanted to spend it on the honeymoon. We have just found out honeymoon is to be in Skegness.

We thought it would be lovely to get them a voucher for something they can do whilst there rather than just cash as it seems so impersonal. So I thought they would love something like a champagne afternoon tea DP agrees.

I cannot find anywhere in Skegness that provides this, I have spent hours googling and all I am getting is lots of results for Lincoln.

AIBU to think that there must be somewhere nice in Skegness for afternoon tea and the MN can help me find it!?

[angelgirl23]

Not in Skegness but near Spilsby at Hundleby The Elm Tree £15 per person for afternoon tea and they do gluten free for the same price. Heard its very good x

[HappyJanuary]

The sentiment of 'this couple always spend their gift money on cigarettes but are regretful and sad afterwards so I'll get something else instead' seems quite sensible to me.

But if you try really hard you could probably read something nasty into it I suppose.

[Oysterbabe]

It's not the gift instead of the requested money, it's the sentiment behind it. They wouldn't give this particular couple money. They disapprove of them and think won't spend it the way they would like.
I wouldn't want someone who was so judgmental about me at my wedding tbh.

[HappyJanuary]

Fighter, the couple have previously expressed a wish for afternoon tea but not for a toaster.

I suspect they will think 'nice gift' not 'oh god what a patronising criticism of our life choices'

Op, if you're still around, you know this couple better than any of us - if you think they'll like it and not be offended then you're probably right.

[Willyoujustbequiet]

Its a lovely idea op

at the posters who think they know better

[AntiQuitty]

So if there's no such thing as class anymore why the fuck is everyone ripping the piss out of Skegness & now Patisserie Valerie?

Yet everyone's all fucking hurt by "reverse snobbery" as they go to places way out of our price range.

[Fighterofthenightman]

Exactly - not compulsory so OP could chose not to give money but making a point by buying something else is just rude.

And it's not as if OP is saying she'll buy a toaster or something that they keep. They'll still have 'nothing to show for it' after a cream tea same as if they were given money and spent it on fags but this way they get a horrible insight into how the giver thinks they can't be trusted with cash. And by trusted I mean can't be trusted not to spend it on something the giver approves of. I genuinely think it's a horrible thing to do.

[HappyJanuary]

Even though in the past her friend has expressed regret about blowing gift money on cigarettes? Even though her friend has previously said she wished she could go for afternoon tea?

A gift list, even one that asks only for money, is a suggestion not compulsory.

Only on mn that people tie themselves in knots to see buying a gift as an insult.

[Fighterofthenightman]

Really going out of the way to make a point that you don't trust them with money. So patronising.

[KoalaDownUnder]

The OP has said her friend likes afternoon tea.

She's not giving them a bag of dog turds, fgs. The reactions on this thread are just ridiculous.

Adults can give other adults whatever they want. What's acting like a child, is carrying on about not getting what you 'asked for'.

[charlestonchaplin]

The OP can do what she likes with her money, Fighter. The couple, you and others on this thread don't need to like her gift. I suspect the couple will be happy enough with an afternoon tea, if not ecstatic. They are unlikely to hate it unless they have already mentally banked a certain amount of money as a gift, which would be presumptuous and yes, entitled.

[Fighterofthenightman]

If you object to being asked for money (many people including me do) then don't give anything at all or don't go to the wedding.

Don't give them something else because you don't approve of what they'd spend the money on. It's so controlling and treating them like children.

[BarbaraofSeville]

People are judging the OP because she is buying a gift instead of giving cash as requested, to make a point.

Because a present they don't want, that will be a chore to use as it will involve travel outside the area they are staying is somehow more personal and appropriate than what the couple asked for. It is quite normal to have a gift list for a wedding but only certain things may go on it apparently.

[NoMudNoLotus]

It is a voucher you need to gift them afternoon tea in Skegness ... it's LSD.

A trip on LSD is the only way you will combine those 2 things.

[BrianCoxWithBellsOn]

The Spa is near where you hire the big bike things from IIRC. I wanted to do the mum/daughter package but my evil DD and SDD refused to be seen dead with me and I didn't want to go alone.

This August, however, I'm in there. DD isn't coming (a 13year old that didn't like Butlins!) So it's me, OH, my DS and his DD and DS. I plan to dump the lot of them and Spa it up.

I am quite interested now to venture off site up the coast, but OH is a creature of habit and we are only there for 4 days, so probably won't get a chance to explore.

[Leanin15yearsmaybe]

And tbf the OP asked for suggestions in Skegness for afternoon tea...not for judgement on her choice of gift!

[Leanin15yearsmaybe]

Bovney where is the spa here??? Like a proper spa??? This is not advertised!!! I need this!!

[HappyJanuary]

Well she could refuse to buy a present since they're not compulsory, or buy them something thoughtless.

But instead she's decided not to give money because, although she loves these friends, they have form for using gift money to buy cigarettes and regretting it later.

She's then chosen a gift they've previously said they'd enjoy, and taken the trouble to post here for advice about it.

Personally I'd have given cash because it's easy and requires no effort from me, so she's already a kinder friend than me.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I disagree that the OP is trying to do a nice thing.

She is trying to look like she is doing a nice thing, while sitting in judgement about how these people spend their money and making sure that they cant do that as she doesnt approve.

[jeanettleyhart]

Did you find anywhere decent? I'm there in March for a hen do & want to find somewhere, but really struggling. Laurel's don't do it out of season. Found Best Western, but that's about it. If you find any good ones, please do share :)

[everybodysang]

Fucking hell there's a lot of aggression on here. OP is trying to do something nice. And a present is not obligatory.

And a LOT of reverse snobbery too.

[sum1killthepawpatrollers]

twat so what if its at the coffee bean in skeggy or a posh restaurant in maui? as long as its with the person you love doing something you enjoy, thats all the romance some want. splashing lots of cash or going to exotic places does not mean it will be more romantic

[mygrandchildrenrock]

Mummyrowland your post is so right. We holiday in Mablethorpe, just up the coast from Skegness and like most small English seaside towns it has it's good points and not so good. Great for families though with miles of clean European blue flag beaches (Hmm I suppose they'll go soon!) and the wonderful Lady B's cupcakery!
I don't mind keeping the pleasures of the East Coast quiet, after all we don't want too many people there!

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

'Fritter away'? You don't sound like you like them very much - why not just not bother getting them a gift?

[Venusflytwat]

The expansion team at Pat Val are currently bursting into flame at the thought of opening up in Skegness 😂

This also made me laugh:
"coffee bean in skeg across from wilkos"

Romance is truly not dead.