DD wants a debit card?

[katherine775]

My DD is 12, and has asked me, on numerous events now, for a debit card. She says that all of her friends have one, and that she feels 'babyish' and 'left out'.
I'm not one of those ultra protective parents - DD has a phone, regularly goes into town with her friends etc.
Last night, though, was something else. She had a complete meltdown, calling me the 'meanest mum ever'

I don't really see why she needs one - she's only in year 7. If she's going shopping with her friends, I'll give her £10 or £20 to spend. I know that most of her friends do have one - she's not being unreasonable on that. Have explained to her that they don't do anything, etc. but she's just not having it.

What do you think? AIBU? Really need some advice.

[passtheloveon]

My 12 year old has a go Henry card and is really pleased with it.it gives him some independence and makes him feel a bit grown up,loves using it in costa !

[NatalieRushman]

I don't understand any reasons you could have against it? It teaches financial awareness and management, is safer than carrying cash, and makes her feel more responsible and nature.

[Magzmarsh]

I've never heard of a Henry card till this thread. What's wrong with a normal debit card for age 11 plus rather than a daft gimmicky one you have to pay for

[petitdonkey]

Magz - I don't get the Henry either! My DS has a regular debit card with his HSBC account.
OP he has had the savings account for his pocket money since he was 7 and the bank automatically set up a current account with debit card when he turned 11. I will follow the same system with my daughters.

I don't understand your previous reluctance to give her one but, given the toys out of pram reaction, I wouldn't be giving her one in response to a tantrum!

[melj1213]

Leggit How is it babyish? The card functions and appears no different from a debit card - they even have contactless - and while the app may not be to your taste, it is functional and sets out clearly all the different money management tools available.

You don't have as many individual and changeable controls with a regular account so imho if it's the first foray into having a card and managing their money then GoHenry or some similar system is the best way to transition to that kind of freedom. My friend's son has had it since he was 8 and is now 11 and he still has his because she can limit what he spends money on in a way she can't with a regular debit card - if she didn't he'd spend all his money on Xbox live/buying crap online ... so with the GoHenry acct she has set a limit to only authorise purchases up to a certain value, even if there's more than enough money in the account, and has put some websites on a block list so he can't use them unless she unblocks it for a purchase they have both agreed on. She has considered getting him a normal account, but for now they are both happy with this system and when she's confident he's ready for that transition, then he can have a debit card.

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

Dd has a cash card - got it when she turned 11. She can only withdraw money at a cashpoint and no one can use it contactless or as a debit card. It does mean that she generally doesn't need to carry cash around on a day to day basis but can access it if she needs to. Why don't you want her to have one?

[Leggit]

How is it babyish. In the same way that lots of other things seem 'babyish' to our growing children. At 11 they can have a debit card. What you are saying about having more control over the money with gohenry is counterproductive imo as the idea is to give them freedom to spend, not to put the blockers on things.

[Unsure123456]

Nationwide FlexOne account. Never have any charges, cannot go overdrawn, free to use abroad and lots of nice perks.

[Pigeonpost]

My 8 year old loves his Go Henry card. Makes him feel very grown up buying things using contactless in shops! V good for his money management skills. His brother is getting one for his 6th birthday next week. I'm at a loss why you won't let an older child have a card.

[MixedGrill]

Halifax do a very good card for young teens, which seems less babyish to carry than Go Henry .

They cannot go overdrawn, you can set the limit for daily cash withdrawals, nothing to worry about.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

What on earth do you think can go wrong if she has one?

Surely you just make sure she has two accounts one for saving and one for using.

[AlmostAJillSandwich]

I didn't get a debit card til i was 16 and had left school! My parents didn't do pocket money though, i'd get money at christmas and birthdays and it usually got kept in the house, though i have had a bank account since i was about 8. (Hated those passbooks and trustees signatures) I got a junior account with a cash withdrawal card at 13ish when my bank decided to close all local branches (eventually got bought out and became santander) and i closed my account and switched elsewhere that still had a branch local.
It wasn't until i had an actual monthly income i moved up from a junior account to a full adult current account.
Personally i'm with you on not giving someone so young a debit card, even if it can be limited and not able to go overdrawn. No regular pocket money, just a £10 or £20 when they're going out with friends (admittedly i think i went out a total of 4 times in my teens) so i never had anywhere near as much money growing up as most kids today or even then got. I actually think i had MORE money sense because of this, i appreciated it didn't grow on trees and you don't spend life getting regular disposable income. I never expected money off my parents, and i didn't waste what money i did get at birthdays and christmas. It shocks me these days just how young some of the kids are who regularly go out and get overpriced shite from starbucks!

[ummlilia]

My daughter is also 12 and the biggest advantage I have found in her having a debit card (Nationwide) is that if something unexpected comes up while she is out and about -and I don't mean just that she has spent up- I can transfer money to her via my phone banking app and she can get it right away.

[zukiecat]

Neither of my DDs had a debit card until they started getting EMA, and then part time jobs while at school and college

Neither had bank accounts before then

[AQuietMind]

My ds is 11 and we have an appointment this week for him to open a Bank account, He will be getting a debit card too. My dd and elder ds have both had debit cards since they were 11/12 too.

Why do you not want her to have one?

[WallToWallBastards]

spam same I had to go and open the account myself on my own and therefore had to be 16, feeling slightly betrayed now

[WhyOhWine]

I have DDs 12 and 13. I set up bank accounts into which I pay £5 each a week pocket money by standing order (DD1 will increase when she hits 14). I find this much easier than having to remember to have cash on the right day. Their grandparents also put a bit of cash in occasionally (they do not live near enough to see regularly and they give their other DC (who live near) the odd pound or two when they see them and they like that they can do this for DDs too. DDs also put christmas and birthday money in there. It works well. They can go out with friends and pop into Costa or wherever for a drink, and when they have a bit of cash accumulated they use it to buy clothes etc. DD1 uses it to buy stuff on depop. DD2 is careless and I am much happier with her having the card than cash. They cannot go overdrawn and have transaction limits on how much they can spend.
They check their balances regularly and think abouwhat they spend (eg whether they would rather save up for something or buy a mr pretzel or whatever).

Whats not to like?

[DragonRojo]

My DS is 13 and had had one, linked to his bank account, for years. Why don't you like the idea?

[Magzmarsh]

Did the op ever come back?

[HolesinTheSoles]

Of course at 12 she can get by without one but I can't imagine the problem with her getting one. Seems silly to say no just for the sake of it.

[GummyBunting]

I got one at 11, and in addition to the benefits other people have mentioned, it meant that I qualified for their best savings rates very early. I have a 5% savings account only available to people who have been with the bank for 15 years +, which I could use at 26.

[YouHadMeAtCake]

Let her have one OP, it is a good age to start learning about money and banking. When she hits earning age , she will be all set up. I was 16 when I got a bank account and it was alien to me, I had not a clue about how to deal with money and I blew my entire months wages in the first week on clothes and shoes

[WatchingFromTheWings]

My kids had current accounts at 12 and 14yo. Their pocket money gets paid in every 4 weeks by standing order. They can withdraw their own cash or pay with their cards in the shops. Also if I find I need bread or milk while they are out I can text them to pick it up and transfer the amount online!

They're with Lloyds Bank. Only draw back is they aren't allowed internet banking until they turn 16. Though they do keep a close eye on what they spend and get a statement through the post every 3 months.

[TheCakes]

DS banks with HSBC. He's turning 11 next week and gets his debit card and access to online banking. It's cool. He has a savings account and a spending account and can transfer money between the two.
I think it's really good to teach good money management from an early age.

[clearsommespace]

I keep trying to persuade DCs to get debit cards but they prefer to ask for cash from me when they need it. ( 14 and 12) They say they don't want the responsibility but I think it's because they are lazy. There are a lot of local shops but the bank machine is a bit of a further walk.