AIBU to want to be a midwife?

[jellypi3]

Bit of a weird one for AIBU.

I want to be a midwife. I have looked into it quite a lot, visited uni's, worked out my qualifications, chatted to midwives and come to the conclusion I want to do it.

DH thinks I am dreaming up a fantasy that all new mums have (DD is 12 months) and thinks I am setting myself up to fail.

I have seriously researched it to death. I know it's fecking hard to get on a course, I know it's a ridiculously hard job to do when you do qualify, and I know it's not all cuddling babies and talking to pregnant women. And I still want to do it.

AIBU and living in a fantasy world? I feel like I need a bit of a reality check before I start on my personal statement!

[RyanStartedTheFire]

I would love to be a midwife but I won't be because it's not realistic with childcare restrictions. YANBU though if you can do it, go for it!

[debbs77]

What about becoming a doula?

[user892]

Some links you must check out if you haven't already:-

Studentmidwife.net

And //www.facebook.com/groups/1502481079993917/

[MatildaTheCat]

I was a midwife for 25 years and it's an amazing career though all the issues mentioned are true. I found the early years with DC very hard indeed but I didn't have the sort of childcare support you do.

Just one thought, are you planning to stick on one DC? It will be awkward to take maternity leave during the course and mean leaving your cohort of students and their support. If you wait until after qualifying and doing a period of consolidating practice your gap will be very large.

Sorry if that's already been answered, I'm feeling lazy tonight!

[MatildaTheCat]

Also agree with GTS. I'm old so we all did nursing then midwifery. With no disrespect at all to direct entry midwives I can say with absolute certainty that the background foundation of general nursing makes an enormous difference especially since many high risk women have a lot of complex medical needs. I know this won't be a popular view with direct entry midwives but is my experience.

Also, I understand it's easier to get onto nursing courses and MUCH easier to get onto midwifery post grad courses.

[DailyFaily]

I'll speak up for the direct entry midwive and say that if you don't aspire to be a nurse then doing a really hard course for 3 years might be a struggle. I didn't want to be a nurse, I wanted to be a midwife - I understand where you're coming from Matilda and GTS but the current midwifery programme does go into a bit of depth with regard to medical issues (they'd have to really, the proportion of women who aren't considered low risk has gone up and up!). I found the midwifery degree incredibly difficult but kept going because it's what I wanted to do, I'm pretty sure I would have dropped out of a nursing degree. That said, you are correct that getting onto a midwifery degree is more competitive than a nursing degree - nursing applications dropped considerably after bursaries were scrapped, midwifery applications have held firm.

OP I don't think you're at all unreasonable and a good proportion of applicants come into it once they've had a child themselves. Good luck to you!

[Monr0e]

Also it is not as easy to do the 18 month course after nursing. More and more uni's are dropping the course and those that still do it have limited spaces, even less than on the full 3 years so it's certainly no guarantee that you would be able to move onto it after qualifying as a nurse.

I'm guessing you will be tied to those uni's in your immediate area, if that is a route you might take then it would be worth checking they do the 18 month course before deciding.

[GTS]

Just to add that I'm a direct entry midwife myself. Yes, they teach as much as they can about medical issues, but I can't help but think that a nursing degree would be more thorough in terms of critical illness and and led to potentially a lot more avenues. I was lucky in that I could retrain as a health visitor which I adore, but would have been out of luck if I didn't! Also (and don't come at me with spears nurses!) I would argue that a nursing degree is slightly less 'full on', by that I just mean not taking bloods or cannulating etc, whereas as a student midwife you're right in at the deep end. Either vocation requires dedication, and a prerequisite for wanting to help people and to make a difference. Good luck OP :)

[JenniferYellowHat1980]

One thing I'd suggest you consider is the very physical nature of the job. Can you see yourself doing it well into your 60s?

Other than that, if it's your dream and you can afford to train, why not?

[GimmeeMoore]

Shadow a midwife be realistic about the course and demands on family,and if after realistically appraising everything you still feel same,good luck

Be aware of funding From 1 August 2017, new nursing, midwifery and most allied health students will no longer receive NHS bursaries. Instead, they will have access to the same student loans system as other students. This applies to new students on pre-registration courses (those which lead to registration with one of the health professional regulators).

Students who already have a degree and are planning to undertake a nursing, midwifery or allied health profession subject as a second degree will now also have access to student loans through the student loans system.

Courses affected:

Nursing (adult, child, mental health, learning and disability)
Midwifery
Dietetics
Occupational therapy
Orthoptics
Orthotics and prosthetics
Physiotherapy
Podiatry/chiropody
Radiography (diagnostic and therapeutic)
Speech and language therapy
Operating department practitioner
This change applies only to new students.

New students are defined as starting a course:
for the first time on 1 August 2017 or later

[GimmeeMoore]

Doula bears no resemblance to being a midwife.doula is unregulated,limited career progression
As an unregulated profession,anyone can set up as a doula.its not a protected title
Doula training is limited in scope,depth,certainly not degree level
Working as a doula it's ommmm and critical of medicine and taken up by predominantly mc women who can afford the doula fees

[StarlitTrees]

I'm surprised at the amount of people who have the 18 month conversion course available in their area.
I know that it was scrapped near me a couple of years back as it is something I would love to have done when my kids are a bit older.
It'll be a shame if it doesn't get brought back as there's no way I can go through another 3 years of full time training to become a midwife. But with the lack of nurses clearly not going to be resolved for a number of years (if at all) I can't see them wanting to make it easier for nurses to jump over to midwifery.

If your circumstances allow, you should definitely persue this OP. You don't want to live with any regrets. good luck!

Just to add GTS just because student nurses aren't taught cannulation and venepuncture it doesn't mean their courses are less 'full on'. We just have differing skills to learn.
I was taught how to control a ventilator, care for a tracheostomy, pass an NG etc as a student.
So as I said, just different skills.
Although I'm sure you knew this comment was a bit unreasonable which is why you pre-empted with not wanting to be 'come at with spears'.

[user892]

Working as a doula it's ommmm and critical of medicine

Whilst there are a few bad apples like this, most are absolutely not. Doulas promote informed choice based on best available research evidence. Ultimately, they offer non-judgemental support. It's a vocation rather than a professional role. I work alongside many doulas on a regular basis.

predominantly mc women who can afford the doula fees

Again, no. Apart from those in central London, most doulas offer reduced fees for those who can't afford them, especially trainees whose fees are capped. The doula UK hardship fund is there for families on benefits and doulas who are able to work for expenses only.

Shadow a midwife

Nice idea, but pretty much impossible to do this these days unfortunately.

[GimmeeMoore]

Are you going to address that doula is unregulated,unprotected title?

anyone can set up and call self doula.absolutely anyone can set up and get clients

No mandatory requirement for CPD

Course content and time varies,no national curriculum .

Below degree level course content

Because it's fee driven job it is predominantly mc clients.a few trainees reduce fees to get their hours/experience but overall the fees are prohibitive to most except mc women.whilst there may be hardship funds doulas aren't available to spectrum of women from all socioeconomic groups

Doulas do ideologically come from natural birth,minimise intervention stance which often manifests as anti-medical

Doula bears no relation to being a midwife. Mw is a regulated,professional,challenging career

Op said she has already met mw.

The shadowing of mw is to meet the staff member,discuss role.it happens but I expect it varies staff to staff.point is to get a realistic overview of mw role prior to applying

[missm0use]

Your DH sounds like a dismissive arse!! My DD is 12 months old as well and there's no way I'm having 'new mum fantasies' about wanting to be a bit midwife!!

You've done the research and you you've completed a degree before so you've got a idea idea of what your letting yourself in for! I think you should go for it! Xx

[user892]

Are you going to address that doula is unregulated,unprotected title?

No, you've explained that very well yourself. It is a distinctly different role to that of a midwife. It is what it is.

Though a few of my colleagues have left midwifery to become doulas!

[BreezyThursday]

Well done you - having a DC has definitely not made me suddenly want to go into midwifery or childcare; I think it takes something special I don't have!

I know of lots of older people/mums who have started similar courses for a (change of) career. Can you get some voluntary work or job shadowing in the year before application?

I would think hard about the shift pattern, but obviously many people get used to dealing with it.

[Monr0e]

I second the idea of getting some voluntary experience. It doesn't have to be specifically on a maternity ward but you need to be able to explain how the experience is relevant. Something like breast feeding peer support, sure start or home start or with vulnerable women would all be beneficial. Your voluntary experience is often asked about at interview and is good for your personal statement.

[NameChange30]

"DH thinks I am dreaming up a fantasy that all new mums have (DD is 12 months) and thinks I am setting myself up to fail."

"DH gives me the eye roll when I mention it!"

Well isn't he Mr Charming and Supportive?!
Tell him to fuck off.
You've done your research. You sound very sure you want to do it. You've even got childcare in place already (His Highness won't even have to do much will he?!) SO DO IT!

What does he think you should do, btw? Does he have another career in mind for you? Or does he want you to be SAHM?

[FourForYouGlenCoco]

YABU - but that's because I dropped out of a midwifery degree
I had a 2yo at the time, DH worked away, minimal family support (emotionally yes, but from a practical/childcare perspective not really), but the bursary wasnt enough to cover full-time childcare. The logistics of it all were a fucking nightmare - DD never knew where she was going to be from one day to the next. It wasn't fair on her and I was absolutely exhausted trying to juggle everything all the time.
I also had a terrible time with some awful sign off mentors. I'm pretty resilient but several months of being treated like a piece of shit wore me down in the end. When I got to the point where I was getting up in the morning wishing I could do anything, anything else, I knew it was time to cut my losses and admit defeat.

I would never, ever recommend it to anyone, but that's because I had such a horrible time. I have a friend who started the course in September and is loving it and getting on great. You sound realistic about what it involves, and you have a decent support network in place, so go for it! Otherwise you'll just spend your life wondering 'what if', and that's no good for anyone.

[RyanStartedTheFire]

Yes you need experience before you apply. It's a massively competitive course. In my surrounding counties it's common to apply three or four times before getting onto the course.

[jellypi3]

Ooh loads of replies! Thanks all!


Lots of sage advice! My DH is generally a supportive guy but he he does want me to be a SAHM and doesn't seem to get why this doesn't appeal to me!

We do want more DC's but thats a point of contention between us!

I'll look into the conversion course, I guess there is no harm applying for both so long as my cv is tailored to each one.

Thank you all! Really appreciate the insights.

[NameChange30]

Maybe you could ask him if he'd consider being a SAHD, and when if he says no, ask him why? That might help him to understand why you don't want to be a SAHP either.

[JaxingJump]

I would like be to be a midwife and did look into it but to be completely honest the salary was too low to consider and the childcare situation would be too tricky. I take my hats off to anyone who does this important and difficult job.

[user892]

I guess there is no harm applying for both so long as my cv is tailored to each one

You have to apply through UCAS and you only write 1 personal statement that's sent to all of your course choices. Any midwifery admissions lecturer receiving an application that isn't explicitly applying for midwifery (you have to demonstrate that you understand the midwife role and how your experience and skills mean you're suitable) will reject you straight away.

Most midwifery applicants these days have to apply at least twice as competition is so fierce. You'd be better off going one way or another.