To expect my 1 month old to sleep on his own now?!

[Crispmonster1]

One month old DS, will not sleep
Unless he is on me! I have put him down several times a night, awake, nearly asleep, fast asleep, with my clothing, with DH clothing and he will NOT stay asleep.
What am I doing wrong? He will sleep in it during the day for a couple of hours.
Help!?

[MetalMidget]

The infant sleep information source, nothing to do with terrorists.

I'm not sure about that, pretty sure my son's declared a jihad on a full night's sleep.

Me before birth: "Co-sleeping isn't for me, I worry about rolling on him, want him to be used to be sleeping in his cot"

Me in the weeks after birth: Sitting upright with him on a cushion, sobbing with a crick in my neck

Me six month later: Side feeding whilst lying down, muttering about the bed stealing child (but getting more rest and fewer muscle pains!) .

It's a good job he's adorable.

[Miserylovescompany2]

It's the comforting sound of your heartbeat and your smell. This phase won't last forever. LO will soon become more accustomed to their surroundings.

You aren't doing anything wrong, so try not to worry. Easier said than done I know.

I had my LO in a swinging crib next to my bed. Close enough for her to know I was there and for me to stroke her head when she stirred.

[sixandoot]

As the others have said, would you consider safely bedsharing or at least cosleeping? Evidence-based safety guidelines here cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/. You can then feed in your sleep and the whole household will get more sleep.
And during each breastfeed both you and your baby receive doses of CCK which, among other things, induces sleepiness.

[savagehk]

Another vote for safe co sleeping, hopefully baby will sleep next to you in bed, and perhaps might even feed lying down, so you can get more rest.

[pictish]

When I had ds1(15 now), I seem to remember parents were not encouraged to co-sleep in general. Of course there was no rule that said you couldn't, but it wasn't recommended owing to the overheating/suffocation/squashing risk.

However, I think it's the most natural thing in the world for those who can get along with it. I couldn't. My fear of rolling on top of my baby in an exhausted, unaware slumber was too great, meaning the opposite effect was achieved in that I would wake frequently, getting no quality of sleep at all. I was much happier and better rested with baby safely in a moses basket beside me.

[NiceBiscuit]

It's perfectly normal but it does get easier, it really does. I remember asking everyone I knew who had children "why did nobody tell me how hard this is, whyyy!?" I was in tears more than DD some nights. I know the mantra often trotted out is enjoy it while you can but there were nights I would honestly have happily handed DD over to a passing stranger just to sleep for an hour or two.

Co-Sleeping wasn't for me but works for many families if you are comfortable with it and research safe practices. Formula won't help baby sleep but it also won't do them any harm if you need a break from a feed or two.

Be kind to yourself, it's such an amazing, beautiful but often horrible time

[jamdonut]

I never co-slept, but my babies all slept in a Moses basket on a stand by the side of the bed, so I didn't have to move too far to feed or console, when they were that age. That worked pretty well.
1 month old is still pretty new!

[WholeFoods]

It did happen to me exactly the same. It does in some children. I dont know why. After ds was deep asleep I transferred him to his cot and he stayed there alone but in the same room with us. This continued for months. I had of course taken advice from GP and nurse. Some children are like that.

[Cguk81]

Your baby is still so tiny, he just wants to be with you. Read up on the fourth trimester, it makes a lot of sense and helps you see the first few months of life from the baby's point of view. Safe co-sleeping was a life saver for us second time around. My DD was in my bed with me every night until she was 8 months and then went into her cot in her own room no problem so don't think you are creating a rod for your own back.

[limon]

Yabu. He's perfectly normal. It's abnormal for small children to sleep alone

[SeahorsesSwim]

As you're breastfeeding definitely consider co sleeping, you can feed him laying on your side and get so much more sleep! It literally saved my sanity.

Also read Dr Sears website, loads of great sleep advice. Your baby is so young, it's completely normal he wants to sleep with you.

[SickNotes]

Try a sidecar cot secured to your side of the bed for a compromise between sleeping solo and co-sleeping?

[SpaceDinosaur]

My DD is also 4 weeks. She's juuuuuust starting to accept her side sleeper. I can literally lay my face against hers from in my bed too!
She's also ebf and after the first week which was just a week of headaches and delirium because she needed to be held I adopted the safe cosleeping practices. Including feeding DD laying down which is fucking awesome. I can literally nap whilst she feeds and I adore her for that!!!

She'll have days when she doesn't want to be put down and that's ok. She's still tiny. But she's close to me and sleeping now!

[glitterazi]

Oh blimey. One month old? That's totally and utterly normal, promise! Neither of mine slept perfectly at that age either.
It'll come, he's still so tiny.

[middlings]

All great advice so the only thing i'll add is this: I tried and tried to get DD2 to sleep on her own and I DEARLY wish I'd just gone with it until she was 6 months as by 8 months she was sleeping through, in her own bed. I think I could have saved myself a lot of angst and got a lot more sleep if I'd just let her do what she needed to do.


Follow the suggestions here about co sleeping safely and get some rest that way.

From a veteran mummy-dummy!

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

I co slept with Ds2 - and was also BF

Basically DP moved to the sofa (he did get more sleep 😴) -and DS moved into the double with me it saved my sleep and my life - others will explain but after he fed I kind of dozed with him . We were scared to start but you get used to it and it got a lot More rest that with DS1

I am no earth mother either !

[StrawberryShortcake32]

My Little boy wouldn't sleep in his moses basket at 1 month but would sleep in his pram. The motion rocked him to sleep. Not sure this is recommended to be honest but sometimes you have to do what's necessary to get at least a little bit of shut eye. He was back in his moses by 2 months and into his cot by 3.5 months. It does get better I promise. Hang in there :)

[SleepFreeZone]

I feel your pain. The only way I coped was to bank pillows up headboard end of the bed and snooze sitting up with baby asleep on my chest. It was extremely tough and I'm not sure when he let me lie him down to sleep but I know I hardly slept for 6 months and a year on he still wakes up at least three times a night.

[TENSHI]

Co sleep in a big safe bed so against a wall with any gaps filled so baby can't slip down and just a nappy on so you can make sure your baby doesn't overheat.

No more getting up and boob on demand, milk sozzled babies are adorable and sleep well, if you can't produce enough then a top up of formula before bed often does the trick.

Bliss....x

[Truntscump]

Co sleep.
My DD is 4 weeks old and I'm managing to sleep well with her in bed. They still need to be close to us at this age.

[Only1scoop]

Moses next to bed. We even had little bath routine at bed time at a few weeks and it worked perfectly with establishing a lovely little sleepy time.

I would have been a terrible co sleeper. Even the thought terrifies me.

[Cinderpi]

I was at this stage two months ago. Do you have a DP there? In the end we slept in shifts - I'd hold the baby until 3am, then he'd hold her until he went to work. It meant we both got a bit of sleep!

When I finally managed to get her to sleep in her cradle (6-8 weeks), I found making a nest using towels under the sheets and being able to rock the cradle whilst still in bed really helped. It does get better!

[JackandBump]

Perhaps a sleepyhead placed in the bed between you and your DP, so you can cosleep with less worry?
My friend does this, allows her to have constant contact with baby without the fear she will roll over etc.

[MysticTwat]

I Swaddled dc and they slept in a moses basket. I also did co sleeping when they really won't settle. which wasn't too often.

dc1 wouldn't settle when co sleeping, so it was more that I dosed whilst feeding then would wrap him back up and pop him back in the moses basket once he had finished and got wriggley.

Dc2 loved being close so co slept more, but by 4 months was in his routine of Bath, breast, bed and sleeping through the night in his bed.

I'm not an either or person, a mix of swaddling and Co sleeping when needed got us through those first tiring months.

[DrCoconut]

My 16mo is in bed next to me now. 4 weeks is tiny. It may take weeks, months or even years but sleep will happen eventually.