To expect my 1 month old to sleep on his own now?!

[Crispmonster1]

One month old DS, will not sleep
Unless he is on me! I have put him down several times a night, awake, nearly asleep, fast asleep, with my clothing, with DH clothing and he will NOT stay asleep.
What am I doing wrong? He will sleep in it during the day for a couple of hours.
Help!?

[GColdtimer]

Formula will not help. Trust me. He is tiny still. Mine didn't sleep on their own for ages. Have you got a fabric sling? Swaddling could help but really, what everyone else said. It's knacjering but won't last forever. ,

[nuttyknitter]

Google The Fourth Trimester - very reassuring.

[puglife15]

If you're concerned about SIDS then breastfeeding is safest. No guarantees formula would make a jot of difference either. He's been in the world 4 short weeks. My 11 month still sleeps on me given half the chance!

[Crispmonster1]

Thank you all so much it's really reassuring. Obviously I will carry on Bf and having DS sleep on me. I was just worried I was getting it all wrong. Why on earth isn't this all explained in NCT classes along with cluster feeding, winding and tongue tie! X

[user1485703469]

Mine was like this for the first couple of months, it's easier if you co sleep, and it's no less risky than sleeping in a cot if you're breastfeeding and sober and cleared bed of excess pillows etc. Cot death is more likely to happen in a cot with a formula fed baby.

[mumtomaxwell]

My DD, now 4, spent the first 6-8 weeks on me!! Awake, asleep, feeding.... only seemed to get off me to change her nappy/bath her.

I think the whole formula making them sleep is bollocks... all 3 of mine were formula fed - 2 oldest slept through very early, DD took about a year to do so!

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

He's still only a tiny baby. My dd still sleeps on me if she wants at 11months. It won't be forever

[Heirhelp]

Yabu. No other animal puts there baby down away from their Mum or another family member to sleep.

[sarahnova69]

I really do recommend doing feeds in the side lying position. DS then slept that way very contentedly as he was pressed up against me and wasn't on his back (which as a mildly refluxy baby he disliked). You can basically do feeds in your sleep once you've got it down- as PPs say if you are sober, a nonsmoker, and breastfeeding, baby is as safe with you as in a separate cot in the same room, and safer than falling asleep on the sofa. You will get through this, I promise - don't worry about anything but giving him what he needs and getting through each day for now. All of this will fix itself later.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

Both my DS's were happy to sleep in their own cots from birth. Have never co-slept as neither of us got any sleep!

[EatTheChocolateTeapot]

I empathise OP, I wasn't told either. They are so helpless, it makes sense that they don't want to be put down as in the wild any predator walking past and they'd be gone.

[PastysPrincess]

If you can safely cosleep I would recommend it as you can feed lying down. I used to have all my night feedings like that. Once he got the hang of it, he could help himself too cheeky 🐒

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Dd slept on dhs chest to give me a break as a newbie. Is that an option for you? She's snoring next to me. She's 8. That's 8 years btw. Bit of a back story to that one. She did used to sleep by herself. She actually slept in her Moses basket for naps just fine when she was teeny. It was an accident. I had a quick shower and I'd put her down (asleep). She woke up screaming and by the time I got there, she was asleep again and thereafter she fell asleep on her own. I wouldn't have let her cry it out - just circumstances. You're doing fine .

[knittingwithnettles]

If he sleeps in bed with you, check that he isn't under a duvet or between two adults under a duvet. I think the SIDs thing is partly due to overheating in modern bedrooms, with duvets pillows etc (which obviously didn't exist when we were stoneage and just snuggled under furs)

I used to put the baby in a sleeping bag (try grobag, cotton only) and then have a very light blanket over baby, and a different blanket over me/husband. Baby born in March and it was freezing. Body warmth will keep baby even warmer than in a cot.

I did mixture of co-sleeping and cots and it really didn't not stop them settling for naps etc eventually (ie 2 months to 3 months) Went on co-sleepign for many years!!!

[IAmAPaleontologist]

If it is any comfort in the early weeks on average breastfeeding mums get more sleep than formula feeding mums. You can do this

[NotMyPenguin]

YABU, but in the nicest way possible :-)

In some cultures you don't even go out for the first 6 weeks, you just nestle in bed at home with your tiny baby, basically! I thought this was ridiculous when I first heard about it (while pregnant) and then TOTALLY got it when my baby arrived.

[londonrach]

Thewave....(nothing to do with sleep) pretty much the same time to do a bottle than get your breast out and feed. All bottles are sterlized ready to go so youve always got a bottle ready to make up. Put ready sterlized bottle under machine. Press go. Add formula. Press go. Feed baby. No messing around with temp of water now. All within 2 minutes. The biggest benefit of formula is that someone else can feed the baby, get the bottle ready whilst you pick up baby etc. Op dont stop breastfeeding unless you want to. Do whats right for you. Just enjoy those new born cuddles. This time goes so quick. Congratulations x

[pictish]

My three newborns slept at night swaddled and in a moses basket next to my side of the bed from the get go. I wasn't a co-sleeper...I don't sleep at all well with a baby or child in the bed.

[Areyoufree]

My 3 year old is currently snoring next to me, and am sure my 5 year old will be in later. If you find the answer, please let me know.

[Servicesupportforall]

Oh Love just relax and enjoy. It Really does go so fast.

[TooSmittle]

Aw it's rough when they won't sleep alone but as everyone else has said, perfectly normal. I won't tell you how long it lasted with DD because I don't want to make you cry! I never wanted to co-sleep either but was way past caring in the end. I had to sleep somehow. DS is 4 months now and a great sleeper. I didn't do anything different, it really is just luck of the draw. Both were EBF too btw.

You're not doing anything wrong at all

[NotMyPenguin]

I was scared to have my new baby in bed with me, so I'm sad to say that I missed out on the first 8 weeks or so of co-sleeping. But if you Google 'safe co-sleeping' you can find important tips for sharing a bed safely.

[Coconut0il]

Definitely read about the fourth trimester. Try to relax and enjoy the cuddles. With DS1 I really didn't realise how fast the time would go so with DS2 I've cuddled him as much as possible. He's 17 months now and still has naps on me if I'm at home. We've co slept since night one. I love the cuddles and the excuse to sit down. 4 weeks is so very tiny, he doesn't even realise he's a separate person from you yet.

[londonrach]

I did what pictish did. Moses basket right up to bed so dd had own bed but i was close enough to touch her to check.

[knittingwithnettles]

It is better to set things up than end up falling asleep on the sofa with the baby (much less safe than in a proper bed with right bedding) because I was so incredibly knackered from lack of sleep. I did this as well, because I had twins so I was perpetually knackered, but the point is, you will end up falling asleep with a baby in your arms at some point so might as well make it safe...

I think the other thing that might be a consideration is that if the baby has not had a proper feed (did you mention tongue tie?) it could mean that the baby genuinely is not going to settle for very long without feeling hungry again. So that might need some HV advice re: feeding position, baby's latch etc. Unsettled babies can be a hunger thing. On mumsnet that isn't a very fashionable opinion, but once you know that is the reason you can correct feeding issues. I breastfed.