To be envious of DH and our daughters?

[crazycoyote]

It’s just not fair. DH and our daughters look so much younger than they are. It comes from DH’s side of the family. Everyone from his side of the family look significantly younger than they are. DH is 52, but he actually looks like he’s 38. People find it absolutely incomprehensible when he tells them his real age. They demand to see his birth certificate or passport because they simply don’t believe it.

Our daughters (twins) are 33, but they look like they are 18-19. DH can’t even grow a beard – he’s from Kenya, and he says that all the males in his family can’t grow beards. DH has never shaved a day in his life. His chin is so soft and smooth. It comes from his mother, who is 76, but looks 20 years her junior. Apparently DH’s grandmother possessed the same youthful genes.

And it’s not just the youthful faces – DH and our daughters have an extremely efficient metabolism. They just don’t gain weight, no matter how much they eat. Our eldest daughter gave birth to an unbelievably beautiful baby boy last year, but she is still so slim. No baby weight whatsoever.

The ironic thing is that when DH was in his 20 and 30s, his youthful face made him look like a teenager and he hated it. He actually had some insecurity issues because of it. But now he’s older so he’s very content and smug about it. Same with our daughters – they always used to get annoyed about getting asked for ID when buying alcohol or going to watch an 18+ film at the cinema. But now that they are also older, they love looking significantly younger.

And then here I am at 55, and looking every bit my age in both the face and body :(

It’s just not fair.

Are there others here who are blessed to have the “not ageing gene?”

[SherbrookeFosterer]

It's all in the diet!

Kenyan cuisine is one of the most nutritious and healthy in the world.

I have done a lot of research on it.

[LionWings]

Last time I got ID'd for alcohol I was 38 & have had the shocked no really response too. I can't see it though and think I look every bit my 43 years! People often think my mum is younger than she is. Can agree it was a complete pain in my 20s.

[Ravenesque]

The looking young genes are a joy for those of us who have them - once we stop getting ID-ed - and totally unfair. I have friends who've lived much cleaner lives than me who look their age or older and I just don't, neither did my mum, my dad, or my brother. When I was in my twenties I was out dog walking with a friend who was a year younger than me, we bumped into an older woman who said to me "doesn't your mum look lovely!" To be fair I think he might have been a bit loop-the-loop, but still! I probably shouldn't have laughed so much or kept calling my mate "mum" for quite a while after that.

Now I'm 51, recently got told I looked about 35 and when ever my age is brought up I get open mouthed "You're not!" stuff. I like it, of course, but I know I just struck lucky. I smoked for years, drank way too much for quite a number of years and mucked about with drugs for too long as well. I don't exercise and I haven't gone out of my way to look after myself in the past. I do look after my skin now and don't have much grey in my hair yet ... but, if it helps I do have arthritis and osteoporosis so I'm shrinking, and I don't even walk much because it hurts. So, good face, shite health. :)

[Postchildrenpregranny]

Yes me crazycoteMost people think I'm at least ten years younger -I'm 66..Nearly 27 daughter regularly gets asked for ID (which makes me laugh as she has hugely responsible job)Heard an air stewardess refer to her as'the teeenager over there'on a recent flight .DD1usually taken for early twenties. She's nearly 31.
I'm not very wrinkled (the legacy of grèasy skin) and still have convincing dark hair ....

[whatsthepointofmorgan]

. No, it's lots of fat underneath it, plumping out all the wrinkles.

There are no wrinkles on a beach ball.

[AbernathysFringe]

I always looked young for my age up until having children. Now I look my age. My step-sis is ten years older than me but a Hollywood person with all the trainers and stylists that entails and consequently looks ten years younger and fitter than me. Sigh.

[Bushymuffmum]

I'm really annoyed lately because dh is 10 years older than me - when we first got together people could really tell the age difference and we used to get a few looks.
Four kids later and I look my age and he still looks like he did 10'years ago.
Men just don't age the same as women (I blame the stress)

[Rowenag]

My partner and I are in our 40s but he looks young for his age. We went to a club not that long ago and they asked him for ID! It made me feel like a right cougar even though we are more or less the same age. I definitely like how he looks as he looks young in an attractive way but I definitely don't like the thought of people thinking I am old enough to be his Mum!

[Witchend]

Dh once answered the door to be greeted by "are your parents in?"
He drew himself up to his full height and said "I am the house owner".
I laughed like a drain when he came back in. He was about 30yo.

[CaliBoingo]

Well... please don't let it get to you. The ex & I were the same age, but as we got older (we were together over 25 years) he aged and I stayed youthful. Over the years he went from laughing at the "cradle robber" jokes to getting sick of it, and eventually he became so jealous, possessive and controlling, I could no longer bear the brunt of his rage and left him. Yes, there were other issues involved in the breakup, but his unfounded jealousy over my looks was the sign of things to come.

[AcaciaYou]

My mother was like this. Always looked about fifteen years younger than she really was. It was a mixture of luck (good genes) and sheer hard work - she was always at the gym, ate very healthily and was careful to drink the requisite number of glasses of water a day etc. She moisturised religiously and never left the house without makeup, so she always looked amazing.

She cared a bit too much about it though (I think). When she did start aging, she found it very hard to deal with. Menopause hit her hard and she got very depressed about her fading looks, even though she still looked far, far younger than everyone else her age.

I failed to inherit the good bone structure, fabulous figure and perfect skin that she was blessed with. Nor did I get her drive, determination and self control, sadly! I'm a funny shape, a bit overweight, and suffered with bad skin for years. BUT I think I'm happier on the whole, because I just don't care about my appearance so much.

[Agerbilatemycardigan]

I'm the same OP. It must be genetic as my mother's 81 and could easily pass for 60. My daughters also look really young and my 35 year old still gets asked for ID.

I've never smoked so I'm not sure if that makes a difference. Sadly it's only my face that looks a lot younger. The rest of me's heading southwards at a rate of knots

[MarvellousMonsters]

I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age. I have light olive skin and mid-brown hair (I dye it red) and freckles. People are constantly amazed at my real age.

However, my youthful skin is due to having a collagen defect which makes my skin and ligaments more stretchy than normal (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Type 3) so I have very few stretch marks, not many wrinkles but I do dislocate with excruciating ease. So, pros & cons!!

[augustusglupe]

My dad looked very young for his age, he died at 70 and people thought he was in his fifties. My elder sister, is the closest to dad out of all of us in looks and she's 65 and looks mid to late 50s, if that, she just has a girlyness about her that completely defies her age. It's all from Dads side, his mum lived to 89 and although she did look old, she acted really young.

[Sybis]

I'm in my 30s, drink too much, smoke and have a bad diet. I'm told I look about twenty.

I frequently get ID'd and people I encounter professionally always ask my age.

It's actually a bit shit in a professional context; I do feel judged on it sometimes.

[turbohamster]

I never looked particularly young as an 18/19 year old but don't seem to have aged a great deal since then. I'm 37 and was ID'd over Christmas. Irony is that I've been ID'd several times since over 25 but never when I was underage.

I find I sometimes get comments at work, a memorable occasion when someone told he'd probably been doing the job since before I was born!

I don't actually think I look young for my age, but I think many people see long hair and slim and think youthful without looking closely!

[DaveGrohlsMrs]

I've always looked younger than I am. Like your daughters I cursed it when I was growing up and getting asked for ID for everything, but now at nearly 37 I love it when people's jaws drop when they find out how old I am. Was told last week that I look like I'm still in my 20s! My mum looks really great for her age too, she is 64 but looks way younger than that. Must be genetic!

[Busybeesmum]

I'm mixed race (mum English, dad Egyptian) and am almost 32 but look mid 20's and after 4 kids I'm pleased with that. My husband is nearly 40 and looks his age so we look like we have 15 years or so age difference. I regularly get told I can't have a 10 year old son. I think it's hilarious

[Liara]

Me. It's been a hassle most of my life, tbh. Not only the ID thing, but also people at work always assuming I was much more junior than I was.

Dh is younger than me and everyone thinks he's a decade older. Has served him in very good stead in life, he always got much more respect than people would have shown him had they known his age.

I once got asked for ID to get into an arcade in Switzerland where dh was. When I looked at the guy completely blankly he explained really kindly that you had to be 16 to go to the arcades in Switzerland. I was 25. I showed him my wedding ring, said I'm 25 actually and married to that guy there (pointing at dh). The guy looked at him, apologised profusely (to him!) and let me though.

I've got millions of stories like that, dh used to joke that he should have a Tshirt saying 'I'm not a paedo, she's actually older than me' for when we went to hotels in our 20s, as he got any number of dirty looks.

Now I'm mid 40s it's probably an asset, but I don't really care. I actually like wrinkly faces all covered in smile lines and wish I had a few. They are testimony to a life well lived.

[skislope]

I was 40 last year and still get regularly ID'd for buying alcohol...always looked younger than my years and I''m very pale!

[skislope]

I'm not joking that I asked the guy the other day how old he thought I was and he shrugged and said '18?' quite irritably...looked horrified when I told him how old I was.

[MollyRedskirts]

MarvellousMonsters, I'm a fellow EDS-er (hypermobility type), but unfortunately my particular collagen weirdness has manifested in lots of stretch marks. I have super soft skin though and very few wrinkles. I have one or two laughter lines around my eyes and that's it plus acne.

I'm 32 and look about 23 on a good day, 27ish on a bad day. I've never once been allowed to buy alcohol without being ID'd.

[gunsandbanjos]

My dad is 70 this year, looks in his fifties at most. Mum is 63 and looks early fifties.
I'm 35 this year and regularly get ID'd. Most people are shocked to learn my actual age, I've had to show people my driving license because they don't believe me.
I was on holiday last year and we went to go on a whale watching tour, the lady asked how old I was as she was going to charge me a child fair!

[midlifehope]

Personally I would be happy for them, but not envious. I can't understand the feeling of being envious of your own children. Proud, but not envious....

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

The woman who did the flowers at my sister's wedding asked if I was mother of the bride.

I was three years older than the bride . I just looked at her in a haughty manner and declined to answer.

People sometimes congratulate me on bagging a toyboy. DH and I are the same age.