To be envious of DH and our daughters?

[crazycoyote]

It’s just not fair. DH and our daughters look so much younger than they are. It comes from DH’s side of the family. Everyone from his side of the family look significantly younger than they are. DH is 52, but he actually looks like he’s 38. People find it absolutely incomprehensible when he tells them his real age. They demand to see his birth certificate or passport because they simply don’t believe it.

Our daughters (twins) are 33, but they look like they are 18-19. DH can’t even grow a beard – he’s from Kenya, and he says that all the males in his family can’t grow beards. DH has never shaved a day in his life. His chin is so soft and smooth. It comes from his mother, who is 76, but looks 20 years her junior. Apparently DH’s grandmother possessed the same youthful genes.

And it’s not just the youthful faces – DH and our daughters have an extremely efficient metabolism. They just don’t gain weight, no matter how much they eat. Our eldest daughter gave birth to an unbelievably beautiful baby boy last year, but she is still so slim. No baby weight whatsoever.

The ironic thing is that when DH was in his 20 and 30s, his youthful face made him look like a teenager and he hated it. He actually had some insecurity issues because of it. But now he’s older so he’s very content and smug about it. Same with our daughters – they always used to get annoyed about getting asked for ID when buying alcohol or going to watch an 18+ film at the cinema. But now that they are also older, they love looking significantly younger.

And then here I am at 55, and looking every bit my age in both the face and body :(

It’s just not fair.

Are there others here who are blessed to have the “not ageing gene?”

[Janetizzy30]

I get that, people don't believe I'm 30 and have 4 kids, they seem to think I'm 20, although I feel 90 (chronic illnesses) x

[Deejoda]

Also I have a pretty good diet, dont wear makeup and avoid sunbathing so as other PPs have said, its genes and lifestyle factors

[Deejoda]

I got IDed when buying paracetamol last year aged 30. I didnt even know there was an age limit for that! When I qualified as a Dr aged 24, all the elderly patients regularly asked if I was old enough to be working and kept calling me nurse! My mum is 60 and could easily pass for 40 and everyone thinks she is my sister. A little girl aged 5 found out I was married and was playing with my baby...she actually said 'but you aren't enough to be married' and was in stitches that I was that old!
Yep, I am Nigerian☺

[mammamic]

impressed by the skill of those who can age people by year

what differentiates a 38 year old from, say, a 37 year old or a 39 year old?

[Deidre21]

I'm 41 but most people think I'm in my late twenties. I used to find it slightly embarrassing. I remember working at a place where one woman wanted to introduce me to her son who was about 20, I was turning 30 the time I worked over there and mist people thought t was my 21st birthday. The lady was quite surprised (probably embarrassed too) but it was quite funny. Also I was married - she didn't know that but then realised. I think sometimes when people over think the way they look it probably makes you see something that most probably don't even see. I've never worried about getting older - it's just one of those things. I was annoyed when I was 21 I was asked for ID before entering a movie as well as a club. I was with my younger sisters at the time we were going in to a club abc I was the only one stopped! My sisters do also lol young for their ages but I was the only one who was stopped which annoyed me at the time. My husband does get slightly annoyed that people think I'm younger, and also much younger than him despite him being 8 months younger than me. It is to do with genes, but also about how you look after yourself. I don't drink much and have met girls much younger than myself who drink and smoke and look terrible as their skin looks like that of an older person which does also add to people thinking one is older. I've always gone the natural way with everything and I started getting the odd grey hairs strands when my daughter started school but I've not ever felt the need to go down the route of dyeing it I just don't feel that's me. I think you should not let looks affect you and just embrace getting older and appreciate being alive and healthy.

[CircleofWillis]

I'm in my mid 40's and still have to carry ID with me. When I had my toddler my health visitor invited me to join the local teen mother support group.

[GoLightlyHollie]

I get taken for someone 10 years younger all the time. But it's a case of if you look close enough and I smile, the wrinkles are all there.
Still I'll take it.
About 8 years ago, aged in my early 30s I was asked for ID buying knives (and I mean a set of 6 knives, forks, spoons, not a flick knife) in TK Maxx. One of the best days of my life.

[Geobaby]

I'm 41 next month but people assume I'm late twenties/early thirties. They obvs haven't looked closely enough! I don't wear makeup very often. Maybe that's why . I feel about 65 though!

[Lozzamas]

I was always younger looking , lots of unentitled half fares and admissions in my twenties etc. Then the menopause hit, that made me look my age. Additionally I decided to loose some weight before I couldn't. I am testimony to the theory that a bit of padding helps with the youthful appearance - big mistake I should have carried on a few pounds over- I'm now looking older than my age and all in a year or two, plus my husband and DC don't like the slimmer me - say I'm too gaunt and boney and it's not the Mum/partner they're used to. It cost a fortune in new clothes too. So those that would trade youth for figure don't do it!! Menopause dries you out enough without going sinewy too!! I'm gonna enjoy putting a few pounds back on though!!

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

The woman who did the flowers at my sister's wedding asked if I was mother of the bride.

I was three years older than the bride . I just looked at her in a haughty manner and declined to answer.

People sometimes congratulate me on bagging a toyboy. DH and I are the same age.

[midlifehope]

Personally I would be happy for them, but not envious. I can't understand the feeling of being envious of your own children. Proud, but not envious....

[gunsandbanjos]

My dad is 70 this year, looks in his fifties at most. Mum is 63 and looks early fifties.
I'm 35 this year and regularly get ID'd. Most people are shocked to learn my actual age, I've had to show people my driving license because they don't believe me.
I was on holiday last year and we went to go on a whale watching tour, the lady asked how old I was as she was going to charge me a child fair!

[MollyRedskirts]

MarvellousMonsters, I'm a fellow EDS-er (hypermobility type), but unfortunately my particular collagen weirdness has manifested in lots of stretch marks. I have super soft skin though and very few wrinkles. I have one or two laughter lines around my eyes and that's it plus acne.

I'm 32 and look about 23 on a good day, 27ish on a bad day. I've never once been allowed to buy alcohol without being ID'd.

[skislope]

I'm not joking that I asked the guy the other day how old he thought I was and he shrugged and said '18?' quite irritably...looked horrified when I told him how old I was.

[skislope]

I was 40 last year and still get regularly ID'd for buying alcohol...always looked younger than my years and I''m very pale!

[Liara]

Me. It's been a hassle most of my life, tbh. Not only the ID thing, but also people at work always assuming I was much more junior than I was.

Dh is younger than me and everyone thinks he's a decade older. Has served him in very good stead in life, he always got much more respect than people would have shown him had they known his age.

I once got asked for ID to get into an arcade in Switzerland where dh was. When I looked at the guy completely blankly he explained really kindly that you had to be 16 to go to the arcades in Switzerland. I was 25. I showed him my wedding ring, said I'm 25 actually and married to that guy there (pointing at dh). The guy looked at him, apologised profusely (to him!) and let me though.

I've got millions of stories like that, dh used to joke that he should have a Tshirt saying 'I'm not a paedo, she's actually older than me' for when we went to hotels in our 20s, as he got any number of dirty looks.

Now I'm mid 40s it's probably an asset, but I don't really care. I actually like wrinkly faces all covered in smile lines and wish I had a few. They are testimony to a life well lived.

[Busybeesmum]

I'm mixed race (mum English, dad Egyptian) and am almost 32 but look mid 20's and after 4 kids I'm pleased with that. My husband is nearly 40 and looks his age so we look like we have 15 years or so age difference. I regularly get told I can't have a 10 year old son. I think it's hilarious

[DaveGrohlsMrs]

I've always looked younger than I am. Like your daughters I cursed it when I was growing up and getting asked for ID for everything, but now at nearly 37 I love it when people's jaws drop when they find out how old I am. Was told last week that I look like I'm still in my 20s! My mum looks really great for her age too, she is 64 but looks way younger than that. Must be genetic!

[turbohamster]

I never looked particularly young as an 18/19 year old but don't seem to have aged a great deal since then. I'm 37 and was ID'd over Christmas. Irony is that I've been ID'd several times since over 25 but never when I was underage.

I find I sometimes get comments at work, a memorable occasion when someone told he'd probably been doing the job since before I was born!

I don't actually think I look young for my age, but I think many people see long hair and slim and think youthful without looking closely!

[Sybis]

I'm in my 30s, drink too much, smoke and have a bad diet. I'm told I look about twenty.

I frequently get ID'd and people I encounter professionally always ask my age.

It's actually a bit shit in a professional context; I do feel judged on it sometimes.

[augustusglupe]

My dad looked very young for his age, he died at 70 and people thought he was in his fifties. My elder sister, is the closest to dad out of all of us in looks and she's 65 and looks mid to late 50s, if that, she just has a girlyness about her that completely defies her age. It's all from Dads side, his mum lived to 89 and although she did look old, she acted really young.

[MarvellousMonsters]

I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age. I have light olive skin and mid-brown hair (I dye it red) and freckles. People are constantly amazed at my real age.

However, my youthful skin is due to having a collagen defect which makes my skin and ligaments more stretchy than normal (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Type 3) so I have very few stretch marks, not many wrinkles but I do dislocate with excruciating ease. So, pros & cons!!

[Agerbilatemycardigan]

I'm the same OP. It must be genetic as my mother's 81 and could easily pass for 60. My daughters also look really young and my 35 year old still gets asked for ID.

I've never smoked so I'm not sure if that makes a difference. Sadly it's only my face that looks a lot younger. The rest of me's heading southwards at a rate of knots

[AcaciaYou]

My mother was like this. Always looked about fifteen years younger than she really was. It was a mixture of luck (good genes) and sheer hard work - she was always at the gym, ate very healthily and was careful to drink the requisite number of glasses of water a day etc. She moisturised religiously and never left the house without makeup, so she always looked amazing.

She cared a bit too much about it though (I think). When she did start aging, she found it very hard to deal with. Menopause hit her hard and she got very depressed about her fading looks, even though she still looked far, far younger than everyone else her age.

I failed to inherit the good bone structure, fabulous figure and perfect skin that she was blessed with. Nor did I get her drive, determination and self control, sadly! I'm a funny shape, a bit overweight, and suffered with bad skin for years. BUT I think I'm happier on the whole, because I just don't care about my appearance so much.

[CaliBoingo]

Well... please don't let it get to you. The ex & I were the same age, but as we got older (we were together over 25 years) he aged and I stayed youthful. Over the years he went from laughing at the "cradle robber" jokes to getting sick of it, and eventually he became so jealous, possessive and controlling, I could no longer bear the brunt of his rage and left him. Yes, there were other issues involved in the breakup, but his unfounded jealousy over my looks was the sign of things to come.