To be left feeling uncomfortable about this conversation.

[DeleteOrDecay]

As I was putting dc in the car after picking up the eldest from nursery, I noticed one of the parents drive past in their car. Shortly after one of the grandparents of one of the children in dd's class, who I've chatted to briefly before, walked past and started talking to me. She mentioned the car which had just driven past the school, and how the child in the back wasn't strapped in and she knew this because he was 'leaning forward'.

She then went on to say that 'those asians get away with it don't they, not like us'. I was a bit by this, and was busy getting dc strapped in so I kind of just made an 'mmm' sound and then she left. But it's left me feeling a bit uncomfortable and now I feel like I don't really want to talk to this grandparent anymore as we clearly have differing views. I didn't see whether the child in the back was strapped in or not but I don't see how race/where someone comes from was relevant. Aibu to feel uncomfortable about this brief encounter?

[BertrandRussell]

Why would it "out" your friend?

[Potatoooooo]

She didn't need to voice her racist concerns with you, she chose to come over and bitch about it so that someone would confirm her views.

I have seen that some cultures do not view safety the same way as we do, and often don't bother strapping the kids in but what's to say that any other person wouldn't do the same? The fact that she said Asians in this conversation suggests she feels it is an 'Asian' thing.
Any person can not bother strapping a kid in, if it were me I would have done the same as you, agree to disagree, they're not your views and you certainly cant change someone's views by confronting them either.

[BertrandRussell]

" I have pointed out that it is a reality that some DC's education is being compromised by immigration"

And if you say that something is a reality, not an opinion, surely you expect to be asked for supporting evidence?

[mrscarrotironfoundersson]

Ref Rotherham, half the teachers and SW knew exactly what the score was but didn't dare say anything. There were younger siblings of some of the perpetrators involved still at the same school the girls attended. The younger siblings had superiority complexes and continued the sexism even within the school environment.

Teachers were powerless as had no support from the police or EA for fear of being accused of being racist.

Sadly I can echo the "Children sat in a corner with a book" in Doncaster, Rotherham, Nottingham through my friends experiences.

[eatsleephockeyrepeat]

Sadly I can echo the "Children sat in a corner with a book" in Doncaster, Rotherham, Nottingham through my friends experiences.

I don't doubt that this is happening, but isn't the fault rather with the way a school's success or failure is appraised by the government and the pressure teachers are under to achieve test results with no consideration for mitigating factors... rather than with immigration or with immigrants?

What with immigration being a net benefit, isn't it rather an oversight on the part of the government that other services haven't been updated to take it into account, seeing as both economically and societally... we need it?

[BertrandRussell]

Name a couple of schools- then we can see what OFSTED has to say about it.....

[mrscarrotironfoundersson]

eatsleep Absolutely agree with you there. Definitely a school problem not a pupil problem - but not everyone see's it like that...

Bertrand of course I'm not going to name the schools. Why not ask the OP to name her nursery and the GP? Equally ridiculous.

[SVJAA]

I think people who are looking to blame immigration/poverty/benefit claimants (these are the general negative comments I hear most of) are just bloody lazy.

[Gottagetmoving]

You don't have to blank her or be horrified. When you meet someone who says something like that you should just disagree nicely.
Some older people don't think they are being racist and it doesn't mean they are a horrible person. It is just ignorance
I would just respond by saying I don't think ALL Asians get away with anything any more than anyone else. You don't have to get into an argument or be awkward about it.

[BertrandRussell]

I honestly don't know why people won't name schools. It can't possibly out them if there are several.

[BertrandRussell]

"Some older people don't think they are being racist and it doesn't mean they are a horrible person. It is just ignorance"

Oh, ffs.

[mrscarrotironfoundersson]

Draylon you're being far too reasonable. there is no middle ground on MN

[BertrandRussell]

"I'm not disagreeing with you, that the school's 'failure' is being measured the way it is, but those are the benchmarks the school has to meet"

Which benchmarks are we talking about?

[WouldHave]

There are schools where native born DC are stuck in the corner with a book whilst the teachers, conscious of their OFSTED report, give more time to the non-English speaking immigrant child. School xxx (or whatever you called it) might have a high immigrant population with no issues, but that woman will have received sufficient 'reinforcement' of her view to be able to state what she did.

It's very telling that when challenged on this you could only come up with one example from nine years ago, Draylon.

It just isn't how Ofsted and schools work. Ofsted expect to see progress in all pupils, and would ask a lot of questions if a supposedly able child was not making expected progress because the teacher was giving all her attention to others. Therefore teachers don't do it. Furthermore, immigrant children tend to pick up English pretty quickly once immersed in the language in school, even when they arrive with none at all, so the idea that teachers have to devote all their time to them is incorrect.

[WouldHave]

Some older people don't think they are being racist and it doesn't mean they are a horrible person. It is just ignorance

Says the ageist person ...

Since when was racism confined to the elderly? This idea that racism was viewed as acceptable until relatively recently is just rubbish.

[eatsleephockeyrepeat]

I think what I'm saying Draylon is that this is a situation borne of a historic failure of successive governments to see (or perhaps just to care) about the bigger picture.

There were ample opportunities over the years to attempt to address the problem. It's not come about overnight that our society needs immigration - more and more with every passing year - to subsist. There was definitely a conversation somewhere along the line - MANY times along the line - that went something like, "hey, we're gonna need to up the immigration here guys". "Okay, well just start letting loads of people in, right?". Ur, no. I strongly suggest someone round that table will have said "yeah, but if you have loads of extra people from diverse backgrounds and cultures we're going to have to a bit more to make this work than just "opening the door", don't you think??"

And this has been going on for decades. And when average people suffered those in charge held up their hands and said "well, there are loads of extra immigrants here now, of course things are stretched", like they weren't the ones with the power to mitigate the impact of immigration all along, and like "all those extra immigrants" were just here with their burdensome-ness giving absolutely nothing back to the average person at all.

Sorry, rant. I don't think we're too far off the same perspective at all Draylon, although I do think we're both engaging in some retrospective navel gazing. The truth is we're already here. This is happening. At some point we all have to draw our own line.

[BertrandRussell]

I'm not disagreeing with you, that the school's 'failure' is being measured the way it is, but those are the benchmarks the school has to meet"

Which benchmarks are we talking about?

[WouldHave]

I've read several Ofsted reports. I've also been involved in Ofsted inspections, and know just how much schools have to keep by way of records of pupil progress. If those records don't show decent progress for all pupils, Ofsted won't buy the excuse that they wanted to give more attention to a few immigrant children.

[BertrandRussell]

"Ofsted won't buy the excuse that they wanted to give more attention to a few immigrant childr"

No, they wouldn't.

But there are people who don't let the truth get in the way of a good story..........

[BertrandRussell]

Not to mention the mysterious "benchmarks".....