To be finding parenting harder and harder as the years go on?

[user1478795570]

This is mainly to see if I'm alone, also to see what I can do about it.

I absolutely adored having babies. I think it was because at this age they were portable, they went where I went, and meeting their needs was easy. Warmth, clean, held, loved. That was it.

To be totally honest I found ages 2-3 hideous but thought that was normal, it was the relentlessness of it that got me down. Endless screaming and "mummy, mummy, mummy!" I knew that was all normal though and thought we'd come through it.

The fact is though I don't enjoy being a parent. My children are now 11 and 9. I often struggle to have conversations with them, which goes against the popular adage of "they are easier when you can talk to them" - mine just either talk incessantly about subjects I've little to no interest in (although of course I feign it but I find it's a one way street) or (not very often) we are having a conversation but it's on two different levels.

I don't convey any of this to them and they are lovely, ordinary nice children. I love them; I'd give my life for them in an instant, yet I don't really massively enjoy being in their company either.

[corythatwas]

Ah, I'm wondering if my finding the teen age years easier could be something to do with the fact that I don't drive. Dc have just had to accept that you can have social activities if you can get to them. Low expectations makes for an easy life.

Other than that, I agree with pp that it's about give and take: you expect them to take an interest in some aspect of your life and you make an effort to take an interest in some aspect of their life.

[FarAwayHills]

I think all stages have their pros and cons. I do miss the baby days especially the endless lovely cuddles. However, I now have a teen and tween and I am enjoying the fact that they are independent, less needy and can do so much more for themselves. I really do not miss them constantly shouting mumeeeee. They still bicker but get over it quickly. We have lots of conversations about tv, sports, food and current affairs and they are generally good company.

[FannyFanakapan]

up thread someone said "rose tinted glasses" and I think that sums it up - Ive raised 3 of my own to teens, and now foster - so I have a little one in the house. I thought I loved the age....but jesus wept if I have to hear "No!" and "Faaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy!" (not my real name) again...Most days I cannot wait for bedtime. Sleepless nights, night terrors, wet and dirty accidents, endless washing, spending an hour feeding them, having to watch the same programme over and over. There are some lovely moments, but they are inbetween the lonely drudgery of caring for a young child.

[mamaduckbone]

YANBU but I think you need to try and change your outlook. It's really easy to be nostalgic about the baby days but in reality you were probably sleep deprived and desperate for 5 minutes to yourself.

Try to find things you have in common with your Dcs. Try to get enthusiastic about their world.
Ds1 is 10 and I love the fact that we share similar taste in books, can watch bake off together and obsess over Harry Potter. Yes, he also drives me crazy talking about stupid iPad games and football, but I just nod and smile.

[Ghodavies]

Seriously?? It's like life in general - some rough patches, some really lol moments and mostly life passing us all by.
I miss my kids being younger (and yes there are times I haven't liked them much or they've driven me demented). I seem to spend most of my life ferrying them to and from activities but they are happy and that's what matters.
On the odd occasion I even enjoy their company!

[Airandmungbeans]

Mine are four and two. My four year old is starting to get easier, even if he does whine constantly, but my two year old gets harder every day. We've had a hell of a week this week, complete and utter hell. I love them to bits, but my word are some days hard. Of course some days are great, but it's all knackering.

It's odd, I work in early years and my favourite age group to work with are the two to three year olds, yet my own children drive me up the wall!