To hate the neighbours for this

[highlandspringerdog]

We live in a little street of terraced houses. Everyone knows everyone and it's usually lovely and safe. My kids are late primary school / early secondary school and I feel totally at ease letting them nip to the shop in their own, to school etc.

Acouple of years ago I arrived home from work to find neighbours were having a firework display with the bucket of fireworks in the road about 2 metres from my front door. I found out about it as I drove down the road and nearly knocked into their cocking bucket. A firework whizzed out of it into the sky when I was practically on top of it. Slammed on brakes. Did not cause enormous car based explosion. Phew.

Neighbours had all their kids milling about - including toddlers just pottering about. I could not believe it!

Parked up at the top of the street and went in my front door. Found one of my kids in tears too scared to go out the house as the fireworks were there but worried as she was meant to be meeting friend at bus stop.
Livid.

I didn't say anything to the twerp neighbours that year as I was too in intimidated - the ones that set these off are the sort of A list neighbours, all friends, go on holiday together etc. I just felt a bit shy to go and say actually can you please not have your bloody fireworks in the street.

Last year - the same. Got home, war bucket in street, fire explosions coming out of it. With a twist - they'd stuck a twisting firework to a tree right outside my house and then lit it. So this fucking thing was whizzing around in a circle with sparks flying out of it and I was stuck in my car watching, and desperately repeat calling the landline phone to tell the kids not to come out of the house. I called the police. They came just as the pricksters were finishing up their display, and told them it was fine!!!

And now it's this year.

I thought I should be brave and ask them not to do it in advance. I've spent about a month worrying about fireworks injuries v annoying the neighbours, and in the end decided not to be a wimp, but to be super friendly.

Texted neighbours. Asked could they maybe not set off fireworks in street this year but instead do in their garden. Said I totally appreciate that some people love fireworks but I found them v frightening and would really appreciate them not being in our street on the pavement or in the road. "We'll try not to do it in the street" was the answer! Followed quickly by a message asking for me to not text them again.

AIBU to wish they'd all fuck the fuck off ? And take their fireworks with them?

[BaggyCheeks]

A community event? Sounds more like the neighbour has told one of the other neighbours that they speak to that they were getting fireworks and they've done it in the road so that they don't have to "host". It's still illegal, and the OP is doing nothing wrong by phoning the police on them. I can't stand how people can be all "Oh it's fireworks night you massive killjoy", while children are blowing fireworks up in each others faces because of how easily available they are.

[Chippednailvarnishing]

Bluntness some people are just inconsiderate dicks, with no back story.

[highlandspringerdog]

Thanks for all the replies!
I so appreciate the support- it has been playing on my mind for ages.
To those who ask if I am a serial complainer - no way! Quite the opposite. If you read the OP you'll see I sucked it up for two year and this is the first year I have actually been brave enough to say to them can you please move it from the street where my kids have to walk, to your gardens where my kids won't be. And they're all furious! To be honest I think it's one of those where they knew it probably was a bit borderline legally speaking and they feel I've judges their parenting - and they're embarrassed and gave responded like this, with anger, in the time honoured way!

My kids and family have in no way been disruptive or annoying in the street - no way no way no way. We are a totally quiet family just going about our business. If the four families involved in the firework display, one lot are always out in the street shouting at each other in one form or another, but the rest are fine. Though obviously I know hate them all with a passion.

And yes maybe it doesn't ring true that they spend a fortune on fireworks and then put them in a bucket in the road without telling us, but that is what they do! It isn't just us they don't tell - it's just the four families who do it. Everyone else in the street just finds out when / if they see it.

I did think about just going out, and asked them if they changed their minds and had it in the street this year could they let me know the time so we could do out. Radio silence. Though also I'd be a bit resentful if I had to take my family out of our home so my neighbours could carry on their illegal firework display untroubled! Why should I bloody move??

That said - I'm heartened (in a weird way) to read how many people would have done the same thing and how many other people have twats for neighbours.

I am now fantasising about moving out and selling our house to a heavy metal band who will have late concerts in the street all night every night.

[LetsAllEatCakes]

Call the police if you see them setting up today. They could easily do in a back garden but I'm guessing it's less to do with not wanting to host and more not wanting to be liable for an incident.

It's dangerous and don't seem to appreciate this. What would happen if someone who wasn't now on the look out for this used your road? A firework in front of their car could cause them to jump, skid and hit those watching!

I like fireworks and go to displays friends have in their gardens but said friends aren't dicks. They always check that they are being safe with what they do.

[Looneytune253]

I completely sympathise and the neighbours are most definitely in the wrong (and very very rude tbh) BUT it's prob 1 hour in a whole year and you're aware of when it would happen so is it not better to just avoid them for that day and not cause huge ructions in the street between u and the neighbours. Yes they are being a bit shitty but it seems like there's a few of them trying to enjoy a little display all together. They're not gonna back down to you when they've all been enjoying this together for a few years. Doesn't seem fair but they're prob stuck in their ways a bit.

[JosephineMaynard]

This isn't a community fireworks event.

It's in the middle of a public, through road, and from the sounds of it, OP hasn't been properly consulted or even informed about it.

No community fireworks event should involve fireworks being set off in the middle of a public road (through road or cul de sac) without the road being closed to traffic first. The reasons for that should be obvious - the last thing anyone needs is an unsuspecting motorist or pedestrian bumping into a firework as it goes off. It may have been fine so far, but it's all too easy to see how this could go horribly wrong if someone who doesn't know about the fireworks comes down the road at the wrong moment.

And if OP had been consulted or informed, she'd have been able to say e.g. "I don't get back from work until x pm, so could the fireworks start later?" or she'd have had the opportunity to take steps to ensure she and her DC avoided the street entirely until after the fireworks ended.

They want to do fireworks for neighbours, they should do it somewhere safer like their back garden.

[highlandspringerdog]

And I don't know what time it'll be at! I've asked but not been told.
There really is nothing community about it. It's actually very alienating.
if I thought it was safe I wouldn't give a shit about it being illegal to be honest. I just want my kids to potter up and down their street in safety, and not have to turn the gauntlet of this crappy event. It's all very arrogant and selfish - they want their thing and to hell with the rest of us. I just wouldn't dream of doing this.

[highlandspringerdog]

Also I have texted them - we are beyond me just quietly accepting their crappy display - so the relations have been soured already. This seems to happen so often in life that the person in the right has to either suck it up or face a backlash for pointing out the wrong. Rage.

[Serialweightwatcher]

YANBU - would be fuming too - only problem with talking sense to senseless idiots is, due to the fact that is what they unfortunately are, it's not sense to them and you are daring to question their behaviour ........ you are right, they are wrong, they are idiots, you are well rid of them ... I know it must be hurtful because you want harmony but if they can't understand what they are doing is wrong and upsetting you, they're not good neighbours/friends

[Realitybitesyourbum]

I don't understand why you are getting so het up about it. Yeah it's a bit wierd and a pain in the neck but it's one evening out of the whole year. Why don't you just stay in? Do your kids have to go to the shop that one night? How will it affect you if you just stay in, close the curtains and watch tv? In no way at all?!

[ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe]

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/168663

I've been linking this many many times over the last week.

You're just driving along and a big firework explodes in front of your car?

Not on.

[WaitrosePigeon]

In the middle of the road? That is nuts!

[shovetheholly]

Who commandeers the entire street - including access for all the neighbours - for a freakin firework display? Antisocial behaviour in the extreme! By all means, have the neighbours over in your back garden for food and fireworks, but have some common sense and don't do it where it will impede vehicular access and potentially endanger passersby.

[Bluntness100]

Ok, it's all them, they are indeed massive intolerant twats. I'm sure you can see why I asked though, maybe I've just always been lucky to have reasonable neighbours and usually a falling out like this takes more than a text. Just go out or stay in but don't interact.

California horcrux, don't be ridiculous, there is nothing wrong with asking if there is a backstory behind it. Your neighbours texting uou to say don't contact us again after one polite text is weird as hell in my view.

[JellyBelli]

YANBU. I cant understand why anyone would think its ok to pick a random neighbour then light fireworks on their doorstep

[2kids2dogsnosense]

You are right that the unreasonable gets to trump the reasonable EVERY TIME.

It's usually because they are prepared to devote all of their time and energy to being a PITA, whereas normal people just want to get on with their lives.

It's a pity that you aren't a member of a minority community whose religion bans fireworks - the police would be out like a shot then!

The more I read about other people's neighbours, the more I am grateful to God for my own. Rarely any noise or bother (we all accept the occasional rowdy partyfrom the two families in the street who do hold them - no problem for twice/three times a year.

People pretty much get on (The Great Hedge War of 2006 is now consigned to history, and most of us managed to maintain neutrality), but we have always been there for one another when needed (e.g. one family had a break in and among other stuff every electrical item they owned including white goods, was stolen - we lent a spare telly, someone else lent a kettle/cd player/camping stove etc until they got themselves re-stocked.) and watched each other's children/fed each other's pets when people go on holiday etc when needed.

So lucky.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

shovetheholly
have some common sense and don't do it where it will impede vehicular access and potentially endanger passersby.

Damn right! And not just endangering passers-by. What if an ambulance was required and they can't safely get down the road because they have to negotiate incendiary devices?

Crazy!

[Giselaw]

Go out for the night, take kids somewhere. Then call police and report them. You can feign ignorance and say I was out, it must have been someone else. I'm not the only person who thinks this, I'm just the only person who stood up to you and spoke out.

[JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha]

2Kids. That's a really pertinent point, actually. I imagine there will be a few ambulances about tonight because of irresponsible twats like these. Stick to your guns, OP - as they have already proved themselves to be arseholes, you've nothing left to lose.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

If there are other neighbours in the street you need to knock on a few of their doors and drum up support.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I meant other neighbours not at the fireworks thing, obv.

[Blu]

See, I do think it is not really reasonable to let off fireworks in an open road . ( even though I do love a bit of neighborly reclamation of our streets for a cultural event). But for one night a year not sure why you have been stewing over it for weeks. Or why you would let this one event / one night wreck your year round relationship with them.

[Giselaw]

Because it's dangerous and anyone could get seriously hurt! Do you also not mind seeing drunk people behind the wheel on New Years as long as it's just that one night a year?

[HeCantBeSerious]

Are they Icelandic? Don't go there for NYE if you don't like fireworks in the street!

[HeCantBeSerious]

Ditto toddlers running around with sparklers.