To feel forcing cross county on children can be counter productive in enjoying fitness

[rabbit12345]

Debate with my DH this morning . DH is a keen runner. He discovered his love of running two years ago after always being a big sedentary child/adult. He now runs 15k a day and loves running.

Today I gave DD a note (first time ever she is in year 9 and PE is a core GCSE subject at her school) so that she did not have to do cross country today. There was a good reason for her not to do it but DH thought I should be forceful in encouraging our daughter to take part.

I should say that we are a very active family. My DD in question dances 5 x a week for 2 hours a time.

My argument stems from my childhood. I remember having to run around a muddy school field in the freezing cold, gasping for breath (some girls were physically sick). You had the naturally sporty girls who would fly around the field and it only led to feeling more inferior and ultimately I ended up bunking off from the lesson or forging notes from my parents. I believe that this has led to a lifetime aversion to running. Every time I think I would like to try, I remember the muddy school field. In many ways I feel that being forced into it as a child, led to my general aversion to physical activity as an adult and it took me years to look at this differently and start finding activities that I loved.

So my argument is to encourage physical activity for the children but in areas that they love and not to worry if she decides that she does not enjoy running around a muddy field. (I told her to walk it if she wants) I feel by putting pressure on her could be counter-productive. I just feel health and fitness is so important and should be approached in an enjoyable way and I do not understand why the school do not make nutrition/lifestyle an important part of the lesson.

DH says that there are things in life you just have to do and we should take that view with DD. But surely this relates to paying bills etc. As an adult if she realises she does not have to do it then she will not if she has been forced through childhood. Surely it is better to educate a healthy lifestyle in it's entirety?

AIBU.

[rabbit12345]

She is recovering from a nasty throat infection. She did cross country on Monday and she said where she was gasping for breath, the cold air in her throat left her in intense pain for hours. She came home and had a tablet and went to bed and didn't eat and it really set her recovery back.

PE is first lesson today and she was worried about being in school for the rest of the day.

I would not excuse her for not enjoying it. I am very supportive of school activities in general but at the same time feel that cross-country is counter-productive in encouraging some children to enjoy active lifestyles.

[rabbit12345]

Also I should point out that the debate was with DH after DD had gone to school.

I would never let her hear a conversation like that! It makes it too easy for her to play us off against each other

[Sirzy]

Worth getting her a buff type thing? Or if your dh is a runner he may have one anyway then she can cover her mouth when starting in future?

[PinkSwimGoggles]

ok, so she's basically still ill.
so yes, when recovering she shouldn't do strenuous exercise.

but you should have put the reason in your first post...

[pinkdelight]

Cross country was pretty much the only thing I liked in PE. Much less humiliating than team games with the horrible thing of picking people for each team then pure viciousness with hockey sticks and such. My DH was the same but worse, with rugby etc to contend with. At least with running it's just you and the field. I think as some has said there's a bigger issue here about the whole ethos of PE and forcing kids to do sport instead of building fitness into everyday living and learning to enjoy it. Sure, there's the suck it up attitude and maybe "kids today" do have too much emphasis on things having to be enjoyable rather than just good for them, but that is a bit dense when the whole point is sure to promote health, not put kids off for life.

How that bigger issue gets solved though, I don't know. For now, this is the curriculum and I don't think you can pick and choose, mainly based on your dislike of cross country. YA a bit U for that, but on the bigger issue, YANBU.

[sonlypuppyfat]

I loathed PE at school they were a fucking nightmare the teachers were bullies. My DD enjoys most sport but she's got a couple of fused vertebrae and pounding around a field really hurts her but the teachers won't give her any slack

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

I suggest that if your DH thinks it's important to encourage her then he should be the one doing it. It's highly unlikely school will.

They don't teach or encourage, they issue vague instructions then yell at you if you get it wrong. And then you get yelled at by the teacher in your next lesson because it took you so bloody long to do the fucking run you were late for that.

[SilkThreads]

I have just moved my kids from a School that does the Daily Mile.

My ds has hypermobility and was often crying after it. His teacher found him other things to do at that time but the other kids were allowed to bully him.

The Mile was run as a competition (every day!) and kids were told they had to 'improve their personal best by 30 secs EVERY day).

It's completely put him off exercise.

[Mischa123]

I struggle with this! I have an elite gymnast as a daughter and so tend to try to get her out of stuff like that as she has very good fitness (trains 20+ hours a week at 11) I worry about her already dodgy ankles and knees and don't want her to get injuries. Her older sister however doesn't move unless forced to and so I would never let her not join in with this sort of activity as she needs the exercise!

[Eolian]

I also hated running (and most sport) at school but came to like running later in life. If PE teaching hasn't moved on in 30 years, then it bloody well should have done. I'm a teacher, and teachers of subjects other than PE are expected to inspire, encourage and be understanding about the challenges their pupils face and their varied abilities in the subject. I strongly suspect that many PE teachers still get away with not really doing this.

Even in parents, there is sometimes a tendency to have a 'man up - I hated it too but it didn't kill me' kind of attitude, which doesn't exactly encourage a love of sport either.

If I managed to teach myself to enjoy running, with no input from a trained teacher, as an overweight, unfit nearly 40 year-old, then PE teachers should surely be able to convince young kids that running isn't torture, and get them used to it slowly and gently (using a version of the Couch 2 5k plan or something). Just throwing them into it is only going to make them hate it.

[SilkThreads]

oh and it was a Primary, too

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Cross country at our school actually was cross country. We did a circuit of the area surrounding the school. I frequently got lost.

[SpookyPotato]

I hated this at school and it put me off exercise for years until my twenties. Infact most of P.E in secondary school did..

[ijustwannadance]

I thinks it's funny for your DH to want to force her to do it just because he has only fairly recently got off his arse and became a runner.

I detest running. Weak ankles and asthma. There isn't one ouce of fun in it for me. In school we had to run up and down bloody sand dunes. Pure hell.
But I did dancing, gymnastics, high jump, was on netball team etc so was plenty fit enough.

Forcing someone to do a type of exercise they hate will just make them hate it more. Not everyone can run.

[ThroughThinkandThing]

SilkThreads that is ridiculous (and impossible). 30 seconds a day is two and a half minutes a week. For the sake of easy maths, let's say a term has twelve weeks. That means they have to improve by half an hour over the course of the term! Which, unless you start by saddling to the extent that it takes an hour to do your first one, just won't happen.

It's academic, given you've moved school, but are you sure there hasn't been a misunderstanding and they really meant improve by 30s over the course of the term or by 3s each time? Or the pupils of that school have bigger problems than just the mile, they have the mile and the teachers not able to add up.

[ThroughThinkandThing]

For saddling, read dawdling...

[LikeTheShoes]

We only ever did games after lunch at school, I didn't know it was possible to do exercise without getting a paralysing stitch, I now run and do 3 classes a week and have never had a stitch as an adult because I don't eat a stodgy meal immediately before doing it!

[butterfliesandzebras]

I thought I hated running until I was in my mid thirties because it was so badly taught at school. Or rather, it wasn't taught at school, it was just expected that we would all magically be able to run long distances with no previous experience or build up.

So for me this depends on the teaching. If they just give them a long route and tell them to run, then that's useless and your child is better off not doing it. If they teach it properly then they should be able to cater it to what your daughter is currently capable of.

[MLGs]

YANBU

If she's recovering from illness that sounds like a very good reason.

I'm a bit on the fence generally, because although I think kids should be encouraged to try a variety of exercise, I also know how off putting being forced to take part in something they hate can be. Cross-country seems to be particularly apt to put people off in this way because people either love it or really, really hate it. I'm not sure it benefits kids who are not good at XC to have to do it repeatedly to the point they are sick etc.

Those who love running like your DH probably can't imagine how others feel about their favoured sport.

I've heard of XC before school being used to help some children who find it hard to sit still and concentrate to burn off some energy. Apparently this works quite well, but that doesn't seem to be pertinent here.

[SealSong]

YANBU.

Forced cross country is shit. I have no idea why teachers think it is in any way a good idea.
i was forced to do it as a kid and as a chubby child I was always last, jeered at and tormented by the other kids and made to feel massively shit about myself and became convinced that I could not do 'sport' so stopped trying.

I gave my kids notes to get off each time when they weren't even ill. They did all other school sports and sport outside of school. As adults now, one is a keen runner and one a keen gym goer.

Some kids might enjoy cross country. Fine, let them do it. For the others, let them do some other sport activity.

[JinkxMonsoon]

I absolutely loathed PE at school, and cross country definitely tops the list of miserable, humiliating PE experiences.

And yes, I still absolutely despise sport and exercise in all its forms.

So YANBU, OP, because everything you said really resonated with me.

[heron98]

I think school is about trying things out and seeing which you enjoy, and yes that includes doing things you hate, be they maths, English or cross country.

I think it's a bit churlish to be put off all exercise for life because you didn't like a bit of cold and mud as a teenager. It sounds like making excuses.

[Megainstant]

Dance doesn't get teens particularly fit. I think definitely YABU and a jog around the playing fields won't hurt anyone. But I think all school aged kids should be able to run a mile in the same way as they should all be able to swim

[IScreamYouScream]

You say you wouldn't write a note if she had period pains, op. I'm not having a go, but I'm interested - why not? Pain is pain. My period pains as a teenager were the worst pain I'd felt up until that point and the whole experience was pretty miserable. I didn't believe the teacher when she said 'running will help' then, and I don't know. It didn't, it was agony .

[Megainstant]

Sorry, I've just seen your dd is ill

Then yes she should rest until better which includes dancing.

What a silly thread.