When dp and I first met he was working 16 hours a week cleaning. He had no motivation and no confidence and when we talked about his minimal working hours he stated "he didn't feel like he could manage working more than that as he likes to do his shopping mid week" etc!!
When we talked about moving in together I told him his working ethic was an obstacle. I would not feel comfortable working 40 hours a week whilst he is just doing 16 with no valid reason. So he started looking for full time work.
I showed support throughout, he once came downstairs in a pair of scruffy jeans and a dragon t-shirt for an interview so I went with him to shop and helped him choose a good smart outfit. He got the job. He was delighted and went on and in about how great it was that he would have more money etc. He then started getting quite into the prospect of bettering himself so I sat with him and we went through college courses he could maybe do etc.
He thrived in the job and then a few months later he came to me and said "they've mentioned putting me on a training scheme which would see me get a promotion within a year!". I was delighted for him and bigged it up. He then went on about how the hours would change etc - I continued to be enthusiastic and encouraging - he then said "yeah, basically I need to do whatever I can to improve my career and if that interrupts your plans then that's just tough I'm afraid". 😲😲😲
Naturally this little snippet came out of nowhere! I said "what do you mean by that??" And he said "see I knew you'd be upset but I can't always do what's best for you, you're not the queen or anything are you". I said I wasn't upset at all about the change in shift patterns but I was livid at the way he'd just spoken to me considering I have only ever shown support for him. He said "oh, maybe I did come across a bit harsh there ... " too fucking right!
So basically I read him the riot act about how I'd spent months prepping him for interviews, helping him with clothes, helping him with college options, even taking his daughter swimming on a Saturday so she didn't miss out with his new job and to be spoken to like that for no reason?
I finished by telling him I was leaving (was at his house) and he should have a think about whether he wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn't used to being spoken to like shit. And in the meantime I'd think about how I feel about being in what often feels like a one way relationship.
He's text me constantly since saying he's sorry and can't understand what he said that was so wrong. I am fuming. Just too this isn't the only time he's suddenly come out with something nasty.
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AIBU?
To have torn DP a new one after his comment towards me?
181 replies
BigEmpty · 01/11/2016 10:32
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