To feel really uncomfortable about this and wondering if I should do anything?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

I heard something recently about one of Dp's friends and its been really bothering me ever since.

I'm reluctant to give specific details on here in case it is identifying and also in case it turns out not to be true.

It is sexual in nature, not abuse of a child but rather sexual things happening in the presence of a child, no idea if the child saw/was aware or not but I suspect not.

I'm not about to run straight to SS over this but could/should I do anything? As I said, I have no idea if it is true or not. I have experience of SS and know the devastation they can cause families and so would be reluctant to say anything if I was not sure it was necessary but if what he told me was true it makes me angry and concerned for their children.

Aibu?

[YuckYuckEwwww]

Whether or not the child was awake is a pretty big gap in your information.

Lots of people have sex near sleeping children, some families all live in one room and wait until children are asleep.

[weveallkissedafrogor2]

was it at the car show?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

I can't know if the child was awak at the time but performing sex acts in a moving vehicle with children in the back seems like generally bad judgement whether they are awake or not tbh.

[YuckYuckEwwww]

You really don't have enough context here.

If they took a sleeping child to a dogging site, or got frisky in the front on front of an awake child - that's SS territory

If they were in their own secluded drive with a sleeping child or something and they did a bit of "heavy petting" (never thought I'ld use that phrase outside sex ed class ) then YABU

[YuckYuckEwwww]

Well sex acts in a moving car is dangerous driving regardless of whether there's children in the car. YWNBU for reporting them for that

Whether the sex will disturb the child (apart from being dangerous) does very much depend on whether the child was awake, not sure why the OP doesn't think that detail makes a difference

[RoundandAroundSheGoes]

So the bloke got a BJ in the car with a sleeping child in the back. Dangerous in terms of driving/concentration, potential risk to the child. But the sex aspect is a total red herring.

[Maudlinmaud]

Op how did you find all this out?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

Because I don't know! I'm not saying it isn't important, it is, hence why I'm asking for advice and not reporting to SS yet but I wasn't in the car at the time so how can I know either way?

[FerretFred]

Right. So mum gave partner a blow job whilst they were driving and little one was in the back?

If the kid was awake, extremely wrong on a moral level and safety level. If kid was asleep extremely wrong on safety level. However, reporting on hearsay is extremely difficult.

[Mumofttwins]

Wow, you must have been really bored at the car meet up!

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

Well I think so 0dfod but apparently I'm overreacting, judgey and should just wind my neck in

[YuckYuckEwwww]

Well I think so 0dfod but apparently I'm overreacting, judgey and should just wind my neck in

well if you'ld asked the obvious question here you'ld probably have had a unanamous YANBU to report someone for driving while having a blow job

that's not what you asked though, you asked if it was a child protection issue for a sex act to be commited in the vacinity of a child who may or may not have been awake!

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I'm just baffled at the ability to perform a blow job whilst the car is in motion, what with changing gears needed (unless automatic) and the steering wheel being in the way?

Does she have a mouth like a hoover nozzle? Or him a dick like a hose? Or don't you know?

Sorry OP but you do seem a bit fixated on cars and other parents at the moment. I'm surprised that they're that interesting really.

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

So if you heard about something like this happening you would this it's fine?

I did say I was trying not to be too specific on the details yuck.

[Laiste]

You know the people OP. (Or your partner does). It's almost impossible for a bunch of people on the internet being told 'something sexual might have happened in a moving car while a 4 year old was in it too who might not have been asleep' is worth a SS call.

I think the things i'd be asking myself, if i was you, are:

• was this is a 'one off' sort of situation? Ask your DP about it.
  
• How sure are you it happened?
  
• Would you be equally as keen to call the local police and report it as a dangerous driving incident instead?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Well your non-specifying is why you're getting sarcastic responses. You know the details so make your own judgement - call or don't call. Nobody here can advise you, can they?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

x-posted with Laiste

[coffeetasteslikeshit]

OP I don't think that you should call SS if this is all you have for them. Massive waste of time I'd have thought.

[Laiste]

So if you heard about something like this happening you would this it's fine?

OK, so thinking about this really hard: I don't think anyone hearing a story that someone was giving a BJ to a driver while they were driving was 'fine'. I'd be But that would be it.

If the story went that a child was in the car at the time? I'd honestly try and check the facts. I really would. Then to be honest, if i believed it was true i might go down the report them for a dangerous driving incident. (and chuck in the fact that there might have been a child in the car at the time).

For me the problem lies with the fact that you're not sure it even happened. What has DP actually said?

[TeacherBob]

It is sexual in nature, not abuse of a child but rather sexual things happening in the presence of a child, no idea if the child saw/was aware or not but I suspect not.

That is sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse isn't confined to doing stuff to others, it also covers watching porn or acting sexual in front of children.

[TeacherBob]

And yes, I would report it. If it is nothing it will come to nothing

[RoundandAroundSheGoes]

acting sexual in front of children.

If the children are actually awake and able to notice it.

[LadyConstanceDeCoverlet]

I suspect that the child wouldn't have seen anything much as his view would be obscured by the seat backs. I would be more concerned about the issue of driving safety. But I'd be surprised if the vehicle actually was moving for the reasons other PP have said, and because surely you would have mentioned it in your original post as it's at least as serious as the sexual aspect.