To want to rehome our bloody miserable cat?

[user1473509591]

Okay so he's 5, and he's just an awful, kid hating cat. It's not so bad during the summer, he's perfectly happy to spend days at a time sleeping outside and just coming home for food. But during winter, obviously, he wants to come in more. Now, my kids are 2 and 5 and are naturally curious. They're not rough (although my eldest used to be which is probably why he's quite cautious of kids now) but the kids just have to walk past him and they end up being scratched. Our house is tiny, we've set up a little bed at the top of the stairs separated by a gate for him but the stupid effing thing insists on trying to sleep in the living room, the busiest room in the house. I can't be sympathetic if he's going to be a bloody idiot. He cant sleep in our room because I'm mildly allergic to cat hair, and I don't want him in the kids room. I don't really know what to do with him, he really doesn't seem to suit a house with young children but whenever I even consider rehoming him it's met with outcry from family and friends. I had to give our dog to my mum when our daughter was about 9 months old because she would just pee everywhere and would nip and growl at my daughter when she started moving so I think they just think I'm crap with pets when in reality, the only reason why he's still here is because I won't give him to just anyone!

[livelyredjellybean]

Instead of just giving up on your pets - who whether they were just thrust upon you or not! - you made a commitment to. There is help out there available from pet behaviourists. Pets are not a throwaway commodity that should just be someone else's problem.

[ILookLikeMyDog]

I'm a cat person.
My dh and I have always had cats.
We also have young dc and a dog.

Some cats are not suited to young DC and prefer peace and quiet. In 17 years I've only had one of these. She was absolutely lovely but didn't like the noise of the dc and never really settled.

Two years down the line we rehomed her. We waited for the right person to come along as she was all black and very difficult to re home and actually very difficult to let her go as she wasn't causing any problems but I knew she wasn't happy.

But now she's very happy and has really flourished in her new, child free home. She's an 'only ' cat and is doted on. I get regular pics and emails from her new family.

Rehome the puss to a good family who want him and who have the patience a cat needs.

Don't get any more pets.

[Strongmummy]

I'm sure you care for the cat. I call my cat all sorts of names and love him dearly. However, your cat is 5 and your eldest is 5. Therefore you got him at the same time you had your first child: daft. Kids and cats don't often mix especially in a small house where the cat have his own territory. It may be kinder to rehome the cat and take it as a lesson learned

[Strongmummy]

*can't have his own territory

[Graceflorrick]

Have you got an older relative with no DC that can have him? If so, I'd make those arrangements asap.

We had a cat for many years before having DC, after having DC it was obvious the cat wasn't happy with teeny hands trying to stroke her and love her. I kept the cat until she died, but really it would have been kinder to let her go to a child free home.

Good luck OP

[NothingisForgotten]

Aw if I lived close to you I'd take him in a heartbeat. Lost my beautiful 11 year old cat almost 5 weeks ago and the house feels so empty without her I also affectionately called her fleabag or fleebs even though she never had fleas in her life!

[Vixyboo]

I have 2 cats, one is 10 and the other is 7. My older cat is amazingly patient with our 2 year old. He is so good natured but we have also been very strict on how our son is with him. Any sign of overexcited roughness and cat time ends!

My younger cat is a nervous creature. If she had her way she would live just me and her in the house! She stays away from our tot. More recently he has asked to stroke her. So I put her on my lap and I supervise stroking for 3-4 mins and then I return her to my bed (which she thinks is hers!) She is gradually getting used to him and he is learning she is timid.

[RepentAtLeisure]

If you feel he is unhappy, and it'll just get worse as the weather gets colder take some steps now. For all you know someone with his ideal living situation is looking for a cat just like him. There's no need to be miserable, and no need to feel guilty. If it doesn't work it doesn't work and it's a kindness to help him find something suitable. I've fostered loads of cats. They usually have a few shaky days, then they adjust to what's in front of them and get on with the important business of eating, pooping, sleeping and yapping at birds through the window! Start by calling your local CPL or other local cat charities (but not the RSPCA!) for advice.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

I am very much a cat person, but some of the replies the OP is getting (sorry, can't remember all the digits after the user bit - please organise a proper name!) are completely deranged. Sometimes it really is time to rehome a cat. Some cats are neurotic, unhappy loons who shouldn't have small children near them.

[user1473509591]

Okay so I'll get some cat toys, some treats and a better bed for him, and work on my kids relationship with him. Will certainly give it a good go! Thanks for the helpful advice!

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

OP:
You sound horrible. I feel sorry for any pet you have ever had. You do not deserve to have pets.

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

Small children are rough with animals. And they shriek. No cat deserves that.

Grrrrrrrr

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

Really lovely thread title, btw.

[AintNobodyHereButUsKittens]

Poppy you are implying that it's unreasonable for an animal to share a house with a small child. So anyone who has a pet should rehome them as soon as they get pregnant? Or nobody who might have a child in the future should have a pet in the first place? Lots of pets cope perfectly well with small children. My two permanent cats have done far more damage to each other than my toddlers ever did.

[lljkk]

MN cat people R usually the reasonable lot.
This thread feels like resurrection of the MN DogHouse of old. :(

[InformalRoman]

Maybe Poppy's small children do that. Mine never did.

[MaddyHatter]

my eldest has autism and ADHD, he's noisy, abrupt, impulsive and unpredictable, and the younger cat absolutely ADORES him, always wants to sit on him, and sleeps under his bed.

The older one cant stand him (as i said earlier) but both cats live in the same home, get treated the same, fed the same, played with the same.. they're just different personalities. Fatpuss is just a grumpy cowbag who's goal in life is to give people dirty looks and be left alone to sun herself, unless she wants fuss, in which case i absolutely need to provide it RIGHT NOW..

The OP didnt GET her cat, she took it on after it was dumped on her and has done her best, she doesn't need to rehome if she can make the environment work for kids and cat.

Even if she does rehome it, its ridiculous to tell her to never get another pet.. seriously, where the fuck do people get off with that little gem?

[ByeByeLilSebastian]

My cat was a horrible cat, I think he must have been a feral kitten and had been abused. He would attack randomly, scratch you as you walk past, hiss etc. Really nasty.

We learnt to accept him and actually grew quite fond of how horrible he was. One of those love to hate relationships.

Now he looks like he should be on the walking dead and is as soft as shit, wouldn't hurt a fly but likes to keep the bad guy image.

Personally I would persevere. Teach your kids how to act around him and hope that he mellows with age

[Booboostwo]

If you want to give the cat another change try a covered bed or cage she can retreat to but still be in the living room, or a bed high up out of reach, Feliway and Zylkene, the DCs should drop treats for the cat every time they walk past her (adjust her food accordingly) and they should try playing with the cat with a toy that lets them keep their distance ,e.g. string.

[hopetobehappy]

Your kids come first. It sounds like you've done your best with him. Nothing at all wrong with rehoming. He need to be in a kid free house. Nothing to feel guilty about. Why should the kids have to put up with a vicious cat, sod that. Rehome.

[dementedma]

poppy it's you who sound completely horrible!!

[GloriaGaynor]

Some cats just don't like being around small children. They feel jumpy and threatened by their unpredictability so they scratch etc.

He would likely be fine in a different environment.

I think the suggestions to try things are well meant, but I don't think they will make any difference, the problem is the children.

PDSA are good, I give regular donations.

[hopetobehappy]

Poppy No she doesn't sound horrible. If I had a cat or a dog or anything else for that matter that constantly scratched my kids I'd be calling it names, it's not to his face is it.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Don't most people call their animals names?

We certainly do!

Our dogs actually think that their names are "Jesusweptnotagain" and "Gettoutofityoubastard".