To not put up with "moooom I'm bored"?

[jayisforjessica]

DS has a tendency to get bored on Sunday afternoons. Once we're done with church, there isn't (in his opinion) a lot to do. He isn't very sporty and we only allow an hour of video game time a day.

I've been giving him assignments, outside of his schoolwork/homework. It takes me a little bit to make them up, but it gives him something to do with his afternoon.

This week's "assignment" was to choose a book he's already read, and write a letter to his teacher, recommending the book as one she might like to read (with reasons why). DS has spent the afternoon out in the back garden with pencil and paper and was happily occupied for two hours, and has come back inside with what I think is actually a really good letter.

AIBU? Responding to boredom with a suggestion of something constructive to do isn't unreasonable, I don't think... but I could be wrong. He's recently told me that none of his friends' parents give them assignments, but he's also never told me he doesn't want to do the little tasks I set him (he seems to quite enjoy having some direction on a Sunday afternoon) and if he really didn't want to do one, I certainly wouldn't force it.

[MiddleAgeMiddleEngland]

I have zero tolerance for boredom. There is ALWAYS something to do. If mine ever told me they were bored, I'd either say "That's a shame, I'm not" or suggest a couple of not-very-exciting things to do.

Little ones might need reminding of toys they haven't got out for a while, but at age 12 there's no reason to be bored. Can't he start learning a new hobby such as a musical instrument or meet up with friends. Or cook the supper and/or a cake?

[CaptainCabinets]

Aww, poor kid! Church followed by extra homework, what a thrilling Sunday...

As for writing letters to his teacher at 12, do you realise how cringeworthy that is?! The kid should be having fun at the age of 12, he's got his whole life ahead of him to do boring shit like that.

Instead of shoving him in another room with an 'assignment', why not take him out for the day, invite a friend over, have a family movie day or something?

[AnnieLovesOakley]

I bet his teacher loves being given extra things to read on a Monday...

[BadLad]

The only thing more boring than unnecessary assignments (writing letters to the teacher, for fuck's sake) is church.

Poor lad. That's the dullest Sunday I can imagine.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

The oddest thing in quite an odd situation all round, is this

He's recently told me that none of his friends' parents give them assignments

Why would a kid bother with saying such a self evident thing, and why would you be at all surprised. Parents don't give assignments!

The general case is that a 12 year old needs to be a lot more independent, both in the freedom to choose what to do, and the ability to entertain themselves, and even in the ability to set their own "assignments" if they genuinely need some extra learning. You seem over-controlling, and have bred a child who isn't complaining, but that's because he's completely outsourced all of his thinking and it's going to be a struggle to disengage enough over the next few years that he can develop independence.

Hopefully that can happes, as otherwise you'll still have him there in ten years time, or he'll completely rebel and cut you off completely as he finds a different surrogate to make all his decisions.

No, putting up with I'm bored is not something you should do, but instead of pandering to his needs and giving immediate direction, you say "piss off and stop moaning to me about it". I'd also say it's getting a bit late for strict limits, and he needs to start self organising things like video game usage, and you only intervene when it starts to be a problem.

[NattyTile]

Sorry for all those of you who found church insufferably boring as 12 year olds. Having seen what our church youth get up to on Sundays and during the week, I'd be more inclined to believe the boredom is a comedown after not being there any more rather than the culmination or a tedious day!

[WeAllHaveWings]

I bet his teacher loves being given extra things to read on a Monday...

Please tell me you don't actually send his assignments into the teacher , even if ds did this he would never entertain giving them to his teacher!

[Boomerwang]

Perhaps you can find one of those books '101 things to do' or look it up on the net.

[DXBMermaid]

I once saw a pinterest (I know, I know) post with a boredom jar. It's a jar filled with all sorts of things to do. Some are fun (extra hour of screen time), some are chores (sweep kitchen floor), some are creative (draw a picture for someone special) etc etc. You could fill the jar together or do it yourself.

Otherwise are there any toys he will play with? Lego or something like that?

[Statelychangers]

Does he still even want to go to Church?
I'm sure you can think of things to do on a Sunday that might provide more variety to stimulate his mind than more school work. Teach him card games, play board games. Get out of the house, into nature for a walk....stroll to a favourite coffee shop. Go to a museum, the cinema. A film on the tv.