To say that being height-ist is really mean

[GeorgiePeachie]

I've talked to a lot of guys on Tinder.
Often they bring up: Oh also I'm 5'5"/5'6" in case that bothers you.

I think it is AWFUL that there are women who make men feel this way about something they can't help.

Also It is really unattractive to have a guy come to you with their insecurity. like: If I said to a guy, oh by the way one of my boobs is bigger than the other in case that's a problem. and he said, oh thanks for telling me, I'm looking for someone more symmetrical.

That would be awful.

It's SO mean and its women that are making this happen. Love the short guys too.

[Advicepls7080]

I'm 5'11 my ex is 5'8
My sister is 6'1 her husband is 5'8.

I think men are a lot more 'heighteist' than women but it's my personal experience

[user7755]

Haven't read the whole thread but isn't the point that if someone said 'I'm a size 14' and the potential partner replied 'sorry I'm looking for someone slimmer'. That wouldn't be ok in a lot of people's eyes.

But it's acceptable to make a judgement about someone's height.

[MindSweeper]

Personally for me, and whether this is influenced biologically or not, I feel there's a power differential when it comes to height. I've been out with men smaller than me and I didn't feel comfortable, I like men to be bigger than me and stronger. It's sexist really but thats how I feel.

[msrisotto]

Does it matter why? People are allowed opinions and preferences on benign physical characteristics they prefer when choosing who they have sex with FGS

[GeorgiePeachie]

Furthermore. back on the Tinder side of things... lying about your height is a silly.

[Porcupinetree]

Is it a protection thing?

Because surely that's more a personality issue than physical!

[MindSweeper]

It wouldn't have been back in the day though porcupine, when we were much simpler beings.

[Ireallydontseewhy]

There probably is some evolutionary correlation between height and strength up to a certain height - although I think I've read that above a certain height there can be health difficulties. But it is quite a weak correlation anyway, so I doubt that it explains all of the bias in favour of taller men.
As other pps have said, it (bizarrely) seems pretty mainstream humour to make fun of men for being short (and frequent references to 'short man syndrome', including on mn) - which probably reinforces the bias to height in men! I do wonder what the response would be on mn to anyone talking about 'fat woman syndrome', or to generalisations about personality based on weight..

[Trashbox]

There's a brilliant episode of SATCHEL where Samantha dates a shorter man!

[OlennasWimple]

Lying about your height (and anything else that's either pretty obvious or really fundamental) is clearly stupid, and I'd be more inclined to pass on someone because of that than their height TBH

[Ireallydontseewhy]

I'm not sure mindsweeper, I think since time began, personality (not just IQ but other characteristics as well), would have been as vital as strength to survival. A woman might be better off with a shorter inventive man than a taller one who doesn't think of trying to sharpen the flintstone!

So in terms of evolution it is odd that people will make a firm 'cut off' for height, rather than weighing up all characteristics.
Statistically, are shorter men less likely to be married? I don't know. If not, the 'cut-off' may not actually be applied rigidly in practice, even if it is specified on old!

[MindSweeper]

Ireally We don't really see that much in the animal kingdom though do we? It's mostly about looks, who's the biggest, who's the brightest.

[datingbarb]

Porcupinetree I guess shorter men are unattractive to some in the same way a man who likes a thin size 8 women wouldn't be attracted to a women who was a size 22! Just personal preference

[Cavogirl]

Well I'm 5'9
Once a guy bought me a drink in a bar ( I was sitting) when I stood up after to go for a dance he was horrified and went crazy saying I should have told him how tall I was - in a 'you should have disclosed you have herpes' way. Whilst I prefer a man similar to me in height, I have dated lots of men shorter than me.
However, I always disclose my height online too - because I don't want the above situation (has happened more than once !!)

[itshappenedagain]

I didn't think I had a type, but since starting to date again I've found I go more for tall men. One bloke wasn't much taller than my 9 yr old!

[Porcupinetree]

Datingbarb - yes perhaps but it's an overwhelmingly common preference on this thread.

[Porcupinetree]

Itshappenedagain - but why was that a problem? Did you feel maternal towards the man because he was similar height to your nine year old? Or what exactly? Genuinely curious.

[MindSweeper]

Yeah it's interesting actually because it's not just women who want tall men (I'm generalising here because it does seem to be a common theme) but it seems the majority of men like a woman who's smaller than them.

[PinkyOfPie]

The funny thing is in arguments against the ever depressing Cotton Ceiling, people use the analogy "you wouldn't expect to sleep with someone short if you weren't attracted to short people". Now we can't even do that

Bottom line: people should be able to reject a sexual partner on whatever grounds they wish. It may not always be nice, but the other alternative is coercing people into sex or relationships that they don't want

[PinkyOfPie]

FWIW I am quite tall and wouldnt date a short man.

[Ireallydontseewhy]

On the other hand porcu I would guess that there would be some overwhelming preferences for certain physical characteristics in women on a male thread.
And in their minds men may also have 'cut offs' for those physical characteristics - even if they don't rigidly apply them in practice!
Mindsweeping true, in the animal kingdom you're looking for the brightest plumage!

[BrightOranges]

So are you 5'5" or 5'6"? You can't be both.

[Advicepls7080]

Bright she might have been measured by two different people for some reason when my counsellor measures me I'm 6ft when my doctor measures me I'm 5'11

[JellyBelli]

It's SO mean and its women that are making this happen
Also It is really unattractive to have a guy come to you with their insecurity

[BrightOranges]

It doesn't matter how many people measure. You can only ever be one height. Until age begins to shrink us, that is