To say that being height-ist is really mean

[GeorgiePeachie]

I've talked to a lot of guys on Tinder.
Often they bring up: Oh also I'm 5'5"/5'6" in case that bothers you.

I think it is AWFUL that there are women who make men feel this way about something they can't help.

Also It is really unattractive to have a guy come to you with their insecurity. like: If I said to a guy, oh by the way one of my boobs is bigger than the other in case that's a problem. and he said, oh thanks for telling me, I'm looking for someone more symmetrical.

That would be awful.

It's SO mean and its women that are making this happen. Love the short guys too.

[Lockheart]

And they do say that everyone is the same height lying down

[SoupDragon]

Is height really different from only fancying blond men, muscular men, skinny men...?

[Nannawifeofbaldr]

"It's women that are doing it"

It works both ways - lots of men would prefer not to date a woman much taller than them.

I do agree that no one should be unkind though.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

And they do say that everyone is the same height lying down grin

You don't look at the mantle piece when you're poking the fire...

[DeepFriedCamembert]

I'm just not attracted to short men. I'm not shallow, but everyone has their type and mine is 6 foot plus

[GeorgiePeachie]

Lockhart An excellent point. :) No problem? no problem.

I see the argument for people saying that honestly upfront is the best policy.
ALSO the post from BothBarrels that it is what men lied about the most.

In the case I am talking about he seemed resigned to the possibility that I was about to slam the door in his face based on his height. He was extremely apologetic about it. < That's what I find sad.

Another of my friends said they thought most of Tinder is shorter guys as well.

I have zero height preference.

One guy phrased it as: I'm 5'6" so don't wear heels or anything. Actually If I want to wear heels I will thank you very much. Goes back to what Lockhart says maybe it's the men being heightist against tall girls!

I assumed it must be women making them feel bad, but maybe no??

[SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace]

Don't care who likes whom or how tall any of them are - what bothers me about your post is the way you lay all the blame on women.

I am fairly sure that shorter men get at least as much unpleasantness from their friends as from women they fancy. And the whole idea that men 'should' be taller than women is not something women have cooked up - indeed, tall women suffer from the other side of the coin here. The notion of man-must-be-bigger is fundamentally just a sexist one, and comes from expectations of both genders which are not just (or perhaps even mostly) held by women.

[MindSweeper]

I've seen a woman write 'no black men and no men under 6 foot', okay... probably not PC but if that's your taste..

But then go onto rant about men should love bigger women like herself and anyone who doesn't is 'fatphobic'.

Sheer hypocrisy.

[Witchend]

I suspect they're just saving face and embarrassment in case you do mind.

It's not necessarily insecurity-it may be experience.

A friend of mine went for a first date with someone. They were getting on really well and having a lovely time. About half way through the pre-dinner drinks he went to take her hand and found she didn't have one to take... Suddenly he remembered that he had an urgent appointment that meant he had to leave immediately.

So she then would tell people before they met after that simply because if that was a deal breaker then she wasn't interested in them anyway, and it saved her embarrassment at the time.

[user1471443957]

I'm 6'1 in bare feet so 5'6 would be a deal breaker for me, but I would mention my height too as know it would put some off. Luckily I've been married 10yrs so never had to do the Tinder/POF thing! I think it makes sense to mention anything unusual about yourself.

[midcenturymodern]

You might not care about height but you can bet your boots there is something that your either consciously or unconsciously don't like. Height isn't like being blonde or bald or fat or a bit potato faced. You can't tell from a photo. You don't know what you are getting until you meet face to face so there's no harm in telling people that they might not be your bag before going to the trouble and expense and sheer awkwardness of a date. People don't have to be politically correct about the 'type' of person they are sexually attracted to.

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I'm 5'7" but don't think it's that tall. DH is 5'9". I usually go for the over 6 footers and that's what I'd specified on my OD profile. He thought it was worth a shot contacting me anyway, and it was. Doesn't bother me, and I honestly thought it would.

[Crispsheets]

I'm six feet tall and struggled for 20 years as I felt I "should" go out with someone taller than me. Trouble is, there aren't many. My ex was about an inch smaller.
My partner is five feet seven
He is the love of my life and I adore being out with him. Wish I hadn't been so fussy when I was 20.
But it's a preference..I couldn't be with someone obese or with bad dental health.

[SugarMiceInTheRain]

Sitting on the fence here - I am only 4'11" and always hated being so short. Just about made my peace with it now. A guy I knew used to always try to flirt with me at social events (as we had friends in common) - I felt sorry for him as he was 5'0" and I was the only woman shorter than him, but I just wasn't attracted to him because he was almost as small as me (would want to give offspring half a chance of being a normal height!) DH is 5'7" so hardly a giant, but when we met and I started introducing him to people, lots of them said 'Oh, I thought you'd be taller!' I guess my insecurity about being small showed.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

I am 5ft 6 which is the perfect height for a female IMO. Shorter guy - erm nope. OH is 6 ft 2 which is a good height for a male.
Think short men can be quite competitive, often, as if to compensate.

[datingbarb]

I would have no issues with a 5"5 man if I was 5 foot tall but I'm actually just under 5"7 flat footed and I like to wear heels so to me YES. It's a huge issue if a man is smaller than me, doesn't matter how nice they were I just couldn't fancy them if they were shorter than me

[stopgap]

I will say that my husband (5'7) and two other shorter guys I know have a preference for size 8 and under women. So maybe they feel a sense of what looks "right", too.

[Porcupinetree]

But WHY is a shorter man unattractive to the majority of this thread ?

Why does it seem 'wrong' to date a shorter man?

[TheNaze73]

I think the height thing is a physical attribute that is a deal clincher for many. We are attracted to what we like, so wherever it be grey hair, fat people or hairy people that don't float your boat, then so be it.

[cherryplumbanana]

But WHY is a shorter man unattractive to the majority of this thread ?

I don't know, I just prefer men who are taller and muscly, I prefer when a man's legs are bigger than mine. It makes me feel slimmer I suppose. I don't see anything wrong with a man shorter than his partner, it's just not my personal preference.

[HuskyLover1]

A lot of women are attracted to tall men, that's why these short guys are mentioning it at the outset.

I am 5ft 2, and I love the fact that my DH is 6 ft 3, with a 48 inch chest (best shoulders I have seen in my life!) He towers over me and everyone else! A big turn on.

I did date a guy who was 6 ft 7 once. When out in pubs/clubs, every single time I went to the loo, I would come back to women trying to pull him. So, I think you'll find a lot of women find height desirable.

[Ireallydontseewhy]

Porcu I expect part of the reason is that some people will comment/laugh etc (see earlier pp about human beings not being the kindest of species!).
So some of it is not wanting to be laughed/stared at. And then of course the more people who say 'no way, won't consider shorter than x under any circs', the more it becomes a self-perpetuating 'no no' for some people.

[GeorgiePeachie]

thanks Porcupinetree excellent question.

Is it bending down to kiss?

Kisses in movies, books etc have the woman look up at the man. If you go for a shorter man, that is somewhat missing if you're out on the street. (Both standing)

[MindSweeper]

But WHY is a shorter man unattractive to the majority of this thread

Probably something to do with biologically ingrained things, evolutionary advantages.

You can't chose what you're attracted to, so it's hard to explain WHY we feel this way, but we can put it down to practical terms like the above.

[JessicaEccles]

I like men built like a brick shithouse- I'm shallow like that . I am fairly tallish myself 5' 8 and have been out with a much shorter man. But he just kept on and on about the height difference, until it started to really matter to me as well.

And Soulmates is full of men specifying the dress size/ body type / race of the women they want to meet. Which is much more restrictive.