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MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

To think there is a chance he still believes

105 replies

blondieblondie · 12/08/2016 10:37

My DS is 11and starting high school.

We were talking about Christmas recently and he mentioned Santa. AIBU to worry that he actually still believes? I don't want him going to high school and saying something which will get him torn to shreds. His dad (my ex) thinks there's no need to say anything to him about it. He reckons that while he might secretly hope it's true, he wouldn't dare so so to other kids because that's risky. I don't want to sit him down and ask him, but I don't want to set him for ridicule either.

AIBU and a bit naive to think he doesn't know?

OP posts:

Report

WorryMcStressHead · 12/08/2016 16:58

I'm in exactly the same boat as you OP.. He's realised in the last few months that the tooth fairy is me - but says he still believes in FC. I don't want to tell him the truth but I think I'm going to have to.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 12/08/2016 17:12

Personally I think it's cruel to send a child to high school without telling him , because if he says it to someone and they tease him it could follow him round through his entire school life for the next 5 years. 'Yeah Johnny still believes in Santa!'
Lots of older kids play along with Santa for the little ones in the family and still get the 'magic'. I suppose this depends on where you live and the type of kids at the school, but if I'd started secondary school and told people I believed in FC and genuinely did I would never have lived it down. It's a kinder chat to have at this time of year than at Christmas as well, he'll have got over the trauma by December I'm sure.

EastMidsMummy · 12/08/2016 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

x2boys · 12/08/2016 17:27

Well your pleasent arnt you EastMids.

HighwayDragon1 · 12/08/2016 17:28

It's August, August, AUGUST

ArmfulOfRoses · 12/08/2016 17:43

If you're coming on the internet to say that someone's child is thick, or dumb, then you might want to consider that you could be a bit of a cunt.

Greenfingeredfun · 12/08/2016 17:44

Eastmids.. pipe down you irritating twunt. My dn still believes at 15. Yes, 15! She has additional needs. Or thick and dumb as you'd like to put it.

blondieblondie · 12/08/2016 17:47

EastMidsMummy, and what about your Mum? Isn't she embarrassed to have raised someone who thinks nothing of calling other people's kids "dumb", or implying they are thick? I'd be ashamed, never mind embarrassed.

Yes, over the years he has made comments like that, but no, at five or six I don't think the conversation has to end with him knowing the truth for certain. As was the point of my post, there's every chance he is humouring me now and doesn't want to say he doesn't believe.

OP posts:

EastMidsMummy · 12/08/2016 18:10

I haven't said anyone's child is thick. I said you should consider if your child is a bit thick if they believe in Santa at 11.

Green - your DN has additional needs, so the answer is no.

Blonde - you suspect he's humouring you so the most likely answer is that, no, he no longer believes in Santa.

I do think it's bad parenting to let children get to the age of secondary school and still believe in Santa. Not just because of the teasing, but because it demonstrates a disregard for their intellectual development.

Egosumquisum · 12/08/2016 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorryMcStressHead · 12/08/2016 18:29

I can assure you my ds has no additional needs. He came out one of the best in his class in SATs and is very articulate, funny and sensitive. I couldn't wish for a better son. You, on the other hand...

neonrainbow · 12/08/2016 18:34

11 year olds who are NT shouldn't go to secondary still believing Santa. You're setting him up to be bullied.

blondieblondie · 12/08/2016 18:36

Don't forget you said I would be embarrassed to have kids who believed in Santa at 11 and that I had raised someone so dumb

I have a very high regard for my son's intellectual development. But I also tell him that it doesn't matter how intelligent you are if you're not a decent person as well.

OP posts:

Egosumquisum · 12/08/2016 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iloveunicorncuddles · 12/08/2016 18:54

Surely it would be the bullies in the wrong, not what a kid believes in or not? Should kids make sure there is absolutely nothing that a bully can pick up on before leaving the house? I still believed in the 1st year of high school, no bullying. Whenever I asked my mum if Santa was real, she would ask me if I believed in him. If I said yes, then he was real, when I eventually said no then he didn't exist. As Santa is only real if you believe he is.

Offyougo · 12/08/2016 18:58

Is it not time you told him? I understand making Christmas magical and all that bullshit but he's 11!when I was young everyone knew by the time we were 6!

cosytoaster · 12/08/2016 19:03

I told eldest DS in the summer hols before secondary school as I was worried he'd be laughed at. He definitely still believed and definitely isn't dumb, he just had enough imagination to believe.

x2boys · 12/08/2016 19:07

ArmfulOfRoses

birdsdestiny · 12/08/2016 19:08

I would rather be thick, as you so charmingly put it, than cruel. Is that how you judge children then? , on their intellect, nice.

FoxTeaParty · 12/08/2016 19:23

This world is a horrible enough place as it is without destroying the imagination of an innocent child. I would rather my children enjoyed the few years they have believing in magic thanks. Calling a child thick and dumb says more about you than it does about an 11 year old who still thinks santa is real.

Op I am in the same position as you, my oldest DD is 11 and starting highschool this year. I plan to tell her during the holidays but I hope she will take it well and we can still keep the magic alive regardless.

neonrainbow · 12/08/2016 19:36

I'm sure the fact that other kids shouldn't bully will be a great consolation to an 11 year old who has been ridiculed because his parents can't face the fact he's too old to believe in santa!

MotherKat · 12/08/2016 19:48

I found out in year 6 and it was a relief, I assumed I was just a horrible child and always on the naughty list until then, 11 is about right, 5 or 6 is Fucking awful.
Armful of roses, you are my hero.

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MirriVan · 12/08/2016 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvansOvalPies · 12/08/2016 20:12

My own children are 21 and 24 and Father Christmas still visits our house EastMidsMummy (Of course they've known for many years the true story, but it's part of Christmas -what's wrong with you? They are usually able to work it out for themselves.) And yes, I still sprinkle glitter liberally around the house on Christmas Eve and fill the stockings (for the boyfriends/girlfriends as well, naturally). They all love it. And it's always Father Christmas who has filled them

You need to be renamed EastMidsCurmudgeon Bah Humbug

FlissMumsnet · 12/08/2016 20:17

Excuse me barging in totally uninvited but can I request some peace and love on this thread folks
It's the weekend afterall

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