To think there is a chance he still believes

[blondieblondie]

My DS is 11and starting high school.

We were talking about Christmas recently and he mentioned Santa. AIBU to worry that he actually still believes? I don't want him going to high school and saying something which will get him torn to shreds. His dad (my ex) thinks there's no need to say anything to him about it. He reckons that while he might secretly hope it's true, he wouldn't dare so so to other kids because that's risky. I don't want to sit him down and ask him, but I don't want to set him for ridicule either.

AIBU and a bit naive to think he doesn't know?

[snowy508601]

That DC now has a Masters degree in the science that they used to 'prove' the existence of Santa

speaks volumes ! lol!

[snowy508601]

fc is for small children -under7s at most.Children of 9, 10 and 11 'believing' are most likely humouring you! I don't think it is good for children this age to believe that magic really exists. If they think 'good' magic exists then why wouldn';t they believe in black magic, and superstition?

[EastMidsMummy]

Why are you 'LOL - ing' EastMidsMummy? I'm clearly missing the joke there.

Because not all teachers are super-smart.

[EastMidsMummy]

Well I guess you've just proved that you can be as clever as hell and still have no common sense...

[stupidgreatgrinonmyface]

My dc still believed in Santa at the same age as OPs dc. Far from being 'a bit thick', as one poster so charmingly put it, my dc had already been assessed by an ed.psych as having an IQ that places them in the top 0.5% of the population. In fact, the reason they still believed was that they had worked out just how it would be possible for Santa to get around the world in one night - taking into account different cultural beliefs, religions and traditions as well as using some quite advanced scientific theories.

We had to sit them down and break the news that we had been untruthful with them. Although a little upset, they were very keen to keep the tradition going for their younger sibling.

That DC now has a Masters degree in the science that they used to 'prove' the existence of Santa and teaches at an outstanding school.

God, how I wish I had not allowed them to be so thick!

[BathshebaDarkstone]

ArmfulofRoses

[BathshebaDarkstone]

My DSis apparently, when she was 13, announced to her friends that FC was really her mum and dad. Cue unanimous guffawing. I think she's survived 3 years on without being unduly traumatised by the experience though.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

Take him Christmas shopping. I'm sure the opportunity to talk about it honestly will arise easily then x

[DetoxWithChocs]

You know your own child best.

We seized the opportunity to tell dd (11) a few months ago when she made it clear she'd sussed the Easter Bunny wasn't real. Her dad gently asked her who else was 'us'. She got the Tooth Fairy but when he asked if there was anyone else she said, 'Santa?' quite incredulously.

She was surprised, but pleased, to be let in on the secret; promising to keep shtum for believing friends/Ds. She was surprised because she couldn't believe we could afford all those presents. Sweet really.

[eyebrowsonfleek]

My son is no genius like the children of MNers but worked out that FC wasn't real since if he was, children in poor countries would get mountains of presents while children in rich countries would get just one or two.

I never understand how children can be devastated to discover the truth. In my limited experience of my kids and their friends, they are happy to be let in on this adult secret and enjoy participating in the rituals for the sake of younger ones and adults.

My son is starting y6 and some of his friends definitely believe. Ds just keeps schtum when the subject of FC comes up as he doesn't want to lie or burst other people's bubbles and embarass them.

[IamtheZombie]

www.nysun.com/editorials/yes-virginia/68502/

[Nousernameforme]

I tell mine in the summer between year 6 and year 7 dd the eldest had figured it out. Ds1, who is actually in the critical thinkers class as part of the schools gifted and talented programme, had no idea, I felt awful but i found something on pinterest about how once you are a certain age you help make the magic. I involved him in choosing his younger brothers presents and keeping him believing which would have gone much better if said younger brother who was 7 at the time didn't turn round and shit all over that plan by going "There isn't a father christmas it's mum and dad Duh!" by the way he is autistic if that matters and terrified of santa so I suppose that was a blessing in disguise.

[skyyequake]

OP just a thought but it might be that he doesn't want to stop believing? When I was his age I'd figured out that Santa/Tooth Fairy/etc weren't real, but I went along with it. Partly because of younger siblings, but mostly because I wasn't ready to let go of something that was such a big part of the magic/tradition of Christmas... It's like a part of your childhood and your DS might just be wanting to hold on to that, especially as he's just about to start a new "grown up" school. Obviously there could be many reasons as stated above (between all the drama) but just a different perspective/possibility...

[OSETmum]

I'd tell him tbh. I used to support a girl at primary school who went of to the same high school as my (much younger) brother. He told me that one of the teachers casually mentioned it, shattering her illusion in a very abrupt and public way. I guess the teacher assumed everyone knew and my brother was most bemused (although thankfully not in any way unkind to her).

[dementeddinnerlady]

In our house we have a rule "in order to receive you need to believe"

[Mycraneisfixed]

Why are some people so nasty while hiding behind the anonymity of MN?
I'm sure EastMids wouldn't be so rude in a face to face discussion IRL.
She wouldn't have any friends if she were.

[isittimeforcoffee]

Why are you 'LOL - ing' EastMidsMummy? I'm clearly missing the joke there.

[Busybusybust]

I'm the youngest of three,and I well remember pretending to believe for years after my siblings had disallusioned me! I kept it going because my parents obviously wanted me to, and I was happy to oblige!

[EastMidsMummy]

LOL-ing at "I'm not thick, I'm a teacher," btw

[EastMidsMummy]

It shows no imagination to believe in Santa aged 11 - quite the opposite.
An imaginative child would have worked it out.

[BillyNotQuiteNoMates]

Was meant to say "if you don't have a younger DC"

[BillyNotQuiteNoMates]

I was the child who had parents who wouldn't lie, so was never taught that Santa was real 😢
If you're concerned (and I suspect that he does know, he's just stringing you along, as most kids do, who think you'll stop their stocking do they say owt) then why not ask him to help you fill a stocking for someone. If us to have a younger DC then do it for a child in a hostel, who probably won't get much at Christmas. Then you can talk about the spirit of Christmas and help him think about others not so lucky as him, at the same time.

[Fififerry1]

I have never admitted to my (now older teenage) children that SC doesn't exist. Of course they know but it is just part of the Christmas tradition we don't want to lose and it is fun. They play along. My youngest DD still half believed in Year 7 but knew most didn't and it wasn't a problem.