To worry about PILs taking DD out and to ask them to let me know where they're going and what time they'll be back?

[MidnightMoths]

I'm so worried I feel sick. I don't know if this is normal PFB anxiety or my stress over their visit.

DD is 11 months, PILs are coming from overseas to stay in our house for 6weeks. I've never met them. DH reassures me they are careful, responsible people and has told them they can take DD out of nursery whenever they want for days out etc. (We have to pay for nursery anyway to keep her place).
Nobody apart from DH has ever taken DD out without me.

I'm worried for several reasons: they don't know the area, they speak very little English, they aren't first-aid trained. I know they dote on her (Skype every other day) but what if something happened? We live in a coastal town, you have to be careful of tides, cliffs, heavy traffic etc. She's crawling but not walking yet. Our house isn't baby proofed so she needs constant watching at home.

We won't be able to spend time with them all together as both of us go back to work the day after they arrive (we've got 2weeks annual leave towards the end of visit but couldn't get it earlier).

I would like to at least know where they intend to take her and when they'll be back, and for them to carry a mobile phone. AIBU?

[FreedomIsInPeril]

If you are seriously thinking of hiding a tracking device in a pushchair to track the grandparents, you've lost the plot of what is normal. Tell them not to come at all, the poor buggers are probably really excited at finally meeting their son's family, and his wife thinks they are old and stupid and can't navigate traffic or keep one small child alive for a day!

[Nanny0gg]

Why isn't your house baby-proofed? What do you do at weekends?

And if I found a tracker when I was out with a DGC, all hell would break loose.

Just sayin'...

[Phineyj]

I don't think OP is overly anxious, just anxious. It's all an unknown quantity until she meets these people and gets to know them a bit. I know several families where the inlaws make extended visits to see GC and don't speak the local language in all three cases the language barrier has posed some real issues at times (for instance, the very nice GM of my neigbours' toddler locked herself out with the child and was crying outside, with no idea how to contact the son at work fortunately we were at home and able to sort it out).

If they are sensible people, potential issues will have occurred to them anyway! Don't assume that because your DH says XYZ, his parents will definitely be of the same mind.

Can you make the room your DD plays is as safe as possible and gate off the stairs and kitchen? That's worked for us and although we own the house, we haven't had to make any physical changes.

[Phineyj]

I have struggled a number of times abroad understanding transit systems, with unfamiliar door locks, adjusting to traffic on the other side when jet lagged etc. I'd have hated to add 'how the hell does this pushchair unfold/door unlock/where sells milk' to that kind of stress.

It is the school and university holidays. If necessary, perhaps you could find a local teenager to show them around if they're very keen to day trip (which they may not be).

[diddl]

Op is anxious but surely some posters are fuelling it-she hadn't even thought of a tracker herself!

[Peppapogstillonaloop]

You do seem overly anxious but I can understand why. My DH parents raised their sons and they are all in one piece but they find it Really hard work now with the kids as they are older and tire more easily.

Perhaps you could suggest that to start with they pick her up from nursery and have her for a couple of hours the first couple of days so that they have time to rest but can still spend time together. Then they could up that to days out when they/you feel ok about it. It doesn't have to be up to them how often that is, she is your dd but bear in mind that they have come all this way and will be excited and doting.
And i don't think there is anything wrong with running through basic first aid with them, particularly choking esp given how old she is and likely putting everything in her mouth. Irresponsible not to imo.
I think you are letting your anxiety/need for control perhaps get the better of you though, wait and see how they are when they arrive, you might be pleasantly surprised and feel more relaxed.

[arethereanyleftatall]

It might do the little girl some good to be with people a little bit more relaxed.

[Peppapogstillonaloop]

That's really mean arethereanyleftatall

[KittyLaRoux]

Its not mean.
OP is stupidly stressed. I doubt her child is allowed to move from the play mat!

Children benefit greatly from a varied upbringing. Overly anxious mum = overly anxious child.

[Laquitar]

Op i did have some worries too but trust me most people are 100% more cautious with the grandchildren than they have been with their own children.

My mum was very laid back with me. With my son she was over-protective.
Also she discovered Psychology -on tv programmes- and she kept talking about the baby's self esteem, awareness, self worth etc!!
One morning i was having a donut when feeding my son his baby porridge. She told me i should only eat healthu in front of baby because they learn by example. She was holding a fag when she was feeding me!!
Honestly they will probably be more protective than you and you will come back here to complain about this.

However if they dont speak english you can make a plan. Our plan was that in an emergencythey would ask someone to make the call because it is not point wasting precious minutes trying to communicate.
Near our local park and shopping centre there was a caffe where the owner and staff spoke my parents language. i told them to go there if they need smth.
At home my neighbour was working from home so i told them if there is emergency to call her .
Could you arrange something like this to put your mind in peace.

Don't worry about the water and the pebbles honestly. but regarding the language i understand. You just need to run together a plan in case of emergency.
Also the side of the driving.

[Laquitar]

Kitty
OP's baby goes to ft nursery so she doesn't keep her baby prisoner in the cot. She does play.

[Twinklestar2]

Id be scared too OP.