Emergency surgery for 3yo - work response

[CustardLover]

My DS had to have emergency surgery after chipping his elbow (I know!) and I was off work for two days - firstly A&E and then the op and an overnight stay. Work has now asked me whether I want to log it as unpaid parental leave or take my last two days of holiday. This feels pretty petty to me; I answered emails and took a call when DS was in surgery! AIBU to ask them to reconsider and categorise as compassionate leave? Those of you who are employers, WWYD?

[Mrscog]

I'm a manager in an organisation with very family friendly policies and I am particularly lenient as I have 2 very young DC myself.

In your situation I'd deduct whatever hours you thought you worked on those days but then the rest would be flexi/unpaid or annual leave. Not compassionate leave which I tend to keep for bereavement or things of an extremely serious nature (one person had to take leave as her DD had been the victim of a terrible terrible crime for instance).

[Dontyouopenthattrapdoor]

I'm an employer.

I'd have paid you as usual. A good employee who feels valued is worth much more to me than two days pay.

[Lorelei76]

Baby - I see, thanks.

[GnomeDePlume]

DD was seriously ill last summer and I spent time 3 days with her in hospital. I took the time as annual leave. The flexibility my line manager gave me was that I was allowed to drop everything and run out of the door when the call came.

I wouldnt expect this to be compassionate leave.

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

It's legal but pretty shitty imo. Assuming you are a good employee who is willing to be flexible (and the fact you worked while your son was in surgery suggests you are) they should pay you and let this one go.

I guess you won't be taking calls and emailing on your own time in future.

[Topseyt]

I am sure OP is well aware of what parental leave is.

However, employers and managers can still have varying policies on how rigidly they apply it and how much flexibility they tolerate.

If I regularly gave above and beyond the basic requirements at work (don't know what OP does) and then met with the response OP's employer gave when for just a couple of days I needed a bit more flexibility from them I would feel rather put out and unappreciated.

[WhisperingLoudly]

My employer would pay me as usual in these circumstances and regardless of policy I'd ensure any of my team were paid in similar circumstances.

[happypoobum]

YABU, I am you would expect to be paid for this.

[alltouchedout]

Crikey. My work would pay me in this situation and they are hardly shining beacons of compassion. An employer who takes the hard line here is well within their legal rights but isn't going to foster much loyalty or make their staff feel valued.

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

Their position doesn't even make economic sense. They give you the days and foster a sense of goodwill and you'll almost certainly make up all the work you missed and continue to work in your own time, if it's necessary, like most people in professional level jobs do. Forcing you to take unpaid leave/holiday gets them those three days of work back, but they then have an employee who, quite justifiably, isn't willing to be flexible for them.

[Glittered]

Let me just say that I'm an a/e nurse and when dd was 2 she had repeated admissions for viral wheeze, they always gave it me as holiday leave and would not give me compassionate leave. Even though it was that very hospital I was at and we were being looked after by my own colleagues. So yeah it does seem unfair but employers don't have to do it

[LockedOutOfMN]

Sorry, but I do agree with your work. Perhaps you could ask them to pay you for 0.5 of the two days or take only 1.5 days of holiday, considering that you did answer calls and emails?

Hope your son is feeling better.

[JoandMax]

Reading this has made me feel very lucky about DHs employer!

I guess it depends what kind of job you do - if it's very much 9-5, no calls/emails outside work then maybe. If it's the kind of job where you travel, out of hours calls/emails, expected to do whatever to get the job done then I'd be really annoyed. DS2 spent a lot of time in hospital, DH pretty much did about 75% hours at odd times to fit in with stays and childcare at the insistence of his boss. If he went in during hard times he used to send him home again! His employer never once mentioned pay and just paid him as normal and did everything they could to help us out. As a result he's a very loyal, happy worker who has been there over 10 years.

[sashh]

Stopped are you not in the UK? 10 days annual leave seems rather stingy.

Not to mention illegal

[CustardLover]

Thanks all. I did a quick evaluation - last week I worked almost 50 hours. I am contracted for 39. I am senior and have to have a lot of out-of-hours international calls with the USA and Asia. I have also taken calls and answered emails every single weekend for the past 67 weeks including over holidays and Christmas. I have never had a sick day at this job (been there two years). So I mentioned all of this to HR and said I felt surprised as I obviously constantly over deliver and am consistently there for the company and they agreed and are going to pay me and not detract holiday. So there you go.

[Iggi999]

Mrscog in what way do you think you're being especially "lenient" and family friendly by just offering the legal minimum?

[Iggi999]

Good result OP

[Lorelei76]

well done OP
I don't think the sick pay thing should be an issue because people can't help getting sick, but for you to be consistently doing extra hours and get treated this way is pretty pants.

[Viviennemary]

I think it is a bit mean of the company not to pay you for the two days. Especially if your absence record is good. It is one of those times where the manager should be allowed to use their discretion. People taking advantage is the main reason companies have tightened up on this and stick by the rules. IMHO.

[Balletgirlmum]

I think it's quite a reasonable request. At my place it would either be unpaid dependent a leave or holiday. The firm pay into an insurance scheme which pays sick pay so we have to stick to their rules.

Compassionate leave is unpaid too.

[limon]

Personally I would call this compassionate leave but yabu because not all companies do.

[MillionToOneChances]

I think you did exactly right - what you can reasonably expect in these circumstances depends hugely how many extra hours you routinely gift to the company.

[AndNowItsSeven]

My dh was given a week of compassionate leave when our dd was in hospital. It was measles and pneumonia though and she was a baby.

[WaxyBean]

I would offer discretionary leave for those two days, but would expect you to work out how to cover any leave beyond that.

[littlepeas]

I agree with you OP! My dd was very poorly as a baby with many hospital admissions and then surgery at 6 months. My dh had a huge amount of time off work (we have an older dc too and no local family to help) and he was paid in full for all of it. He took calls and answered emails, but was nowhere near as present as he usually would have been - his employer was fantastic. He has remained very loyal to them over the years - he does work somewhere else now, but is in a position to give his old employer a lot of work, which he does.