Emergency surgery for 3yo - work response

[CustardLover]

My DS had to have emergency surgery after chipping his elbow (I know!) and I was off work for two days - firstly A&E and then the op and an overnight stay. Work has now asked me whether I want to log it as unpaid parental leave or take my last two days of holiday. This feels pretty petty to me; I answered emails and took a call when DS was in surgery! AIBU to ask them to reconsider and categorise as compassionate leave? Those of you who are employers, WWYD?

[skatesection]

Lesson learned, I guess: don't take work calls or answer work emails when you are out. They have no intention of recognising you for it.

[mouldycheesefan]

Bottom chops I think when people are saying parental leave they actually mean unpaid emergency dependent leave.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

I would negotiate for covering the time you worked when off, and take as less time off, as that's fair.
they have unfortunately stated their position, and you have to accept it. no point in getting emotional about it

But yes 100% if you worked and took calls, claim that time back. But I doubt you did 3 full days

hope he recovers fast

[Lorelei76]

if there's no specific emergency leave in your contract, then these are your choices.

I think it's awful that they are doing this to you in spite of you taking calls though. I would look at how much time you spent on work and see if you can adjust - e.g. use one day of holiday instead.

if this is their attitude, then I would say never make yourself available outside hours, in case you do that, or take calls on a day off etc. I know lots of employers are like this but they have to accept it works both ways.

[Babyroobs]

At my work place we would only get compassionate leave for a bereavement. or a family illness/ accident it would be unpaid leave or if long term people take sick leave. I have a colleague who has been off for 6 months + on paid sick leave as her child is seriously ill.

[DragonsEggsAreAllMine]

It would be unpaid parental leave or holiday for us both too. Compassionate leave is only granted for death of an immediate family member.

[Lorelei76]

baby - how can your colleague take sick leave when she isn't sick?!

[Joinourclub]

At my workplace we get 3 days paid parental leave a year, but the days can not be taken consecutively., so in your case I would have had one day paid and one day unpaid.

[BrieAndChilli]

Every company is different, every manager is different and every employee is different.
For example a manager in a very large company may allow an employee to take it as paid as company can afford it and the work may be able to be absorbed by other employees, whereas a manager/owner of a very small company (and so will probably have to pay someone else to work instead) won't be able to take the hit.
An employee who has only worked at a company for 6 months and already taken sick days will probably not get the same consideration and rule bending as an employee who has been there 10 years and never taken a sick day.
DH had 3 days off when DS1 had emergency surgery for a ruptured appendix and was paid for them as compassionate leave, but his company is very family orientated and do things like provide free lunch for employees, fully paid staff socials etc. Whereas I had to take an evening off work and because that job was hourly paid I obviously didn't get paid.

[VelvetSpoon]

I'd only expect it to be holiday, or unpaid.

Some years ago my then 7 month old DS was taken into hospital for an emergency op a couple of weeks after I started a new job, and was in hospital for a week. I asked if I could take that as holiday (single parent, no family, so no one else who could be with him) which my employers agreed to. I couldn't have afforded to take it unpaid. It certainly would never have occurred to me to take it as anything other than holiday.

I think you just need to chalk this up to experience and not answer your phone on any future days off.

[AppleSetsSail]

It is petty, but it's also the law. You can't really blame employers for not being generous, only for not being fair.

[BlueFolly]

I would have thought they were being perfectly reasonable.

[harderandharder2breathe]

Yabu sorry

You're lucky to have been given the choice tbh, paid holiday or unpaid parental leave is the only real options. Compassionate leave is for bereavements, sick leave is for when you are sick.

I'm sure it's a scary time and I hope your son makes a speedy recovery... But (thankfully!) it's not a life or death situation, in which case I think more flexibility from employer can be expected (a colleague recently had his son born three months prematurely and work were very supportive about him taking more than the statutory paternity leave as his son literally could have died at any time... Thankfully baby is now a year old and perfectly healthy... But at the time we were all worried, like not doing a collection for a gift immediately in case baby died and it would be hugely inappropriate)

[TaurielTest]

Unpaid parental leave is for those with children all the way up to 18 btw, not 6 as a previous poster said (I think the law has changed).

As others have said, compassionate leave is for bereavement.

[Mouikey]

Check the policies (may not be in your contract). I would suggest leave policy and possibly special leave policy. If these don't exist then they are being more than fair to offer that you take it as annual leave (although do you have flexi-time, because this is exactly what flexi is all about), or unpaid leave.

Hope your son gets better.

[scaredofAIBU]

I had to go into hospital with DD for 2 days earlier this year.

Employer has not said anything about the time off, I have been paid as usual.

I expect their written policy is that it should have been annual leave or emergency dependents leave (unpaid). However in practice they use their discretion and if it's a one off true emergency and doesn't keep happening then they will let it go.

That said, in my job I am often expected to work long hours if the work demands, without overtime or time in lieu, so it's flexibility both ways iyswim. I think they would be less flexible for employees who work strict 9-5.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

I would definitely be paid for this, as would my DH (and we both have been in similar circumstances).
No they don't have to, but goodwill counts for a lot in the workplace.
To a PP who said 'if workplaces paid for things like this then companies would never employ women with children', what about men with children? DH was given 2 days when our 2 year old had surgery on a broken leg.

[sandy30]

I get why you're frustrated, but tbh they are being nice by offering to you the chance to take your holiday (as opposed to automatically docking your pay for unpaid parental leave).

[Topseyt]

DH's employer gives 3 days paid dependency / family leave per year per employee if required. Beyond that it is either taken as holiday or unpaid.

Sometimes they are flexible and let it go for longer ( e.g. death of a very close family member such as a parent), but otherwise not. That is their policy.

I think your employer is acting within the law, though perhaps being parsimonious, especially if you are one who is rarely off apart from holiday leave.

[amidawish]

It depends.
How many hours per week are you contracted for?
How many hours per week do you generally do?

If you go well above and beyond the contracted hours, all the time, as I do, then i would be mightily pissed off if they didn't ignore the fact i had this time off. Especially considering i was in touch and dealt with urgent stuff.

[Dixiechickonhols]

It would be unpaid leave at mine. It may be worth speaking to supervisor and hr. Hr may not know you have worked and supervisor may not know you are being docked. It is unfair to lose a whole day's pay if you did some work. Maybe they will agree to paying half a day etc.

[Babyroobs]

Lori - My colleague is suffering severe stress I imagine as her child has cancer, therefore she is on long term sick leave . My work has a generous sickness policy of 6 months full pay then 6 months half pay. She would not be fit to work under her current situation so she is signed off sick.

[HopperBusTicket]

My employer allows up to 2 days emergency leave at manager's and it would cover circumstances like this. I allowed someone emergency leave when his girlfriend went into hospital in another part of the U.K. and he went to look after her.

[feralgoat]

what do you think the purpose of parental leave is

[HopperBusTicket]

He then took additional days as a/l.

I think my employer is generous though.

On the other hand I had to take time off for IVF treatment as a/l or make up the time.