…to think that my work should cut me a bit of slack over this

[alltoomuchrightnow]

I'm not sure, I may well be U so I'll accept general consensus here.

I am, on average, late for work about once a month but never more than five or ten minutes, apart from the week before last I had a mini crisis (won't go into detail as don't want to out self) and was 25 minutes late.

Rang boss as soon as I got in and she was fine about it.. totally understanding. However roll on a few days and she changed her tune and started grilling others as to why I was late (even though she knew why I was - I was upset as was obviously trying to catch me out? as to my reasons? ) which surprised me. It's a shop and I'm the one opening so I can understand her reaction but as she said..it's extremely quiet first thing (and I opened late to make up for lost time..) and not like I do this all the time (her words)

Re being occasionally 5-10 minutes late is because I come a very rural way and there's often roads closed/diversions , bad accidents (cars speeding and crashing on long lanes), hold ups with horses, tractors, cyclists etc. I always give myself longer than I need to get in (because of aforementioned) but some things can't be predicted for the 20 mile journey, no matter how early I leave

Re cutting me some slack… I don't get any breaks at work whatsoever. I don't get paid for an hour's lunch I'm meant to have each day. Boss fully aware of this (its the same for my job share, whom I don't work with). I am not allowed to leave shop or to leave colleagues alone. I have been told that there's no reason for me to ever leave the shop in opening hours. It can be stressful if I need to nip to bank/shops whatever or to make a phone call (as I get no signal at work) as I can't, but most of the time I just suck it up as I have no choice (I can't just sneak out..am on camera and boss will often watch..she works from home) . I wouldn't mind if I was paid for the full day as I'm used to, in my employment history of retail, usually not having breaks. If I had an unpaid break (or was paid for the full day without a break) then I guess I wouldn't be asking this… I would agree I was being unreasonable and being late (for whatever reason) is unprofessional and annoying

I also stay late nearly every night as there's so much to do after closing, including cleaning which I do all myself (don't get paid for after hours but it has to be done…I'm used to this as a manager though as pretty much the norm everywhere I've worked)

The last few weeks I've also not been getting in early , reason being because of not wanting to be away from home any longer than have to (DP having had a massive bereavement, also having a sick pet) but I still leave late each night. I should stress that this isn't me making a stand (not getting in early) because of the no breaks. They would like me in every day 15 -20 minutes early BEFORE I open up but I get everything done and ready the night before. Given what's going on at home and the no breaks situation I guess I justified it to myself to get in dead on time (or a few minutes early usually) rather than early. Nothing's been said about this though I'm sure it will be soon (and from this week I'll start coming in early again but that's the choice I've made for myself)

But the main issue being she is angry over me being 25 minutes late (and also if it comes up that I've been in mainly on time each day rather than early) when initially she was fine about it. So..should she cut me some slack because a/ I had good reason to be late that day and b/ because I work through my break, unpaid, every day ??

I'm not trying to be difficult and say, well if I'm late just call it my lunch break! I'm just wishing there'd be some balance. Of course I want the shop to open on time each day as it will reflect badly on me. But sometimes things happen and re the breaks they are being illegal

[boo2410]

I know you feel passionately about this charity but I too urge you to get another job as others have said. You have so much to give, take yourself somewhere where you will be appreciated. Somewhere closer to home will be much less stressful (and cheaper, less fuel and wear and tear on your car) and give you more time at home which can only be a good thing.

With regard to being late, no it's not ideal of course. But sometimes life gives you a bit of a rough ride (I'm not belittling your circumstances by the way, it sounds worse than a rough ride) then your employer needs to realise that and cut you some slack. It's not like you don't do over and above your hours.

I'm sure you can find other ways to help the charity you're passionate about, and you may get more recognition.

Listen to everybody on here, we can't all be wrong! Sorry didn't mean to say that much.

[happybee1]

It sounds terrible, I used to work in high street retail and sometimes had similar circumstances. They wanted us in early but we didn't get paid for it so it's not right. I suspect the same can be said in your job. We were always late leaving and never got paid for extra time. It's really bad as I suspect you are close to living wage and with these extra unpaid hours you will be well below what you should be paid by law.
Maybe it's time to look for a new job.

[FoxyLoxy123]

Ignoring breaks, YABU to think it's OK to be late. In two years at my current job I've been late twice. One was because the road was closed and I was sat in a six mile tailback and the other was 4 mins because of a tailback. It normally takes me 35 mins to get to work so I leave at 7 to make sure I am there for 8, as quite often I don't get there til 7.45 ish.

I find lateness disrespectful. My DP is in retail and someone was given a disciplinary for not opening on time very recently. I don't understand why anyone thinks it's OK to be late more than once in a blue moon.

[dora38]

Seriously go and look for a new job....you are clearly a busy person outside of work and therefore such constraints don't suit you so you need to work somewhere you can find a degree of flexibility. Quite recently I found myself in a similar boat with 3 very young kids and trying to hold down a full time teaching job . Total nightmare and found myself in a state of massive stress trying to be on time....amidst a whole host of early morning crises.....and things that happened during the day too. Childminder letting me down, kids sick and god knows what. So I looked at my situation and decided to leave as my boss was not supportive. I start in a new school in September, nearer home and only part time. Happy days !

[Shakey15000]

Ex retail manager here. Ex being the operative phrase. I regularly worked around 50 hours a week, getting paid for 37.5. Also wasn't allowed to leave the store if I was the only manager in. Utter shit and it was only when I threw the towel in that I realised what a mug I'd been.

[boo2410]

Nice one Shakey, I hope Alltoomuch will seriously think about her job as well, she's worth so much more than that.

[rap12]

So its a charity shop, meaning your boss pays reduced taxes, doesnt pay rates and i imagine some staff are volunteers, plus only have to give a minimal amount to the charity. Charity shops are great earners, thats why there are so many of them.
you should get there on time (I am normally just on time, i have to leave extra early as my trains are always stuffeed plus i am not a morning person), you should have clear communication witb your boss and tell her that you are not piad for a lunch break, yet never take a break so you would like to get paid for that jour, or leave an hour early - what does your contract say? That is a legal document. If you are not paid for the luncn break which you work through, and you stay late, again unpaid, you are probably earning less than the minimum wage. I would mention al that to your boss. Plus her watching you from home all day is creepy!

[Postchildrenpregranny]

I have just stopped voĺunteering ,after several years, for a (International )charity whose work I really admire ,as their whole management structure was awful and the shop I worked in badly managed (by a manager paid peanuts I have to say) .The regional manager,with whom I and another volunteer raised concerns,as tactfully as possible, managed ,I think, 29 shops .I suspect it's endemic in the charity sector They are pilloried for paying decent salaries as people feel ,quite rightly,that the bulk of money raised should go towards the work .But they can (not always obviously)end up with inexperienced managers, sometimes with poor people skills, who cannot delegate, manage teams to get the best out of people .Profits suffer.
If you work alone that in itself is dodgy practice (Health and Safety issues)and yes it is illegal to work more than six hours without a twenty minute break .

[Postchildrenpregranny]

My DD is an NHS worker and yes rarely gets a proper break (or even get to the loo)
But the difference is someone might die if she insists on her break .

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

plus only have to give a minimal amount to the charity

Sorry what ?

[EveOnline2016]

Find a job else where.

[hotdiggedy]

£9000 a year for all that nonsense? What on earth?? How much do the people below you earn then? Surely you would earn more sitting on a till in a supermarket wouldn't you?

[SouperSal]

That's £9k take home........ Still appalling, but not as bad as £9k gross.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

To answer some q's... I run to loo between customers. During opening hours I am not allowed to leave the shop because we can't shut it, and I'm not allowed to leave any volunteers unattended (no matter how competent they are ..but none on my days are anyway so I can understand that they can't be left. Most of my volunteers refuse to go on the till and the ones that do need constant supervision . Branch manager has told me there's no circumstance where i need to leave the shop. Yes it is unfair that I can't even close for like 15 minutes to go and sit in my car or something, like in the short times where I have no volunteers in).
I am looking for other jobs because BM keeps moving goal posts. Am still getting long emails on my days off. It usually ruins my days off. I feel I can't just ignore them (the emails). She will ask me to do something specific and I'll do it then a few days later she changes her mind.
My big bugbear right now is that she swopped my days around with my job share, at no notice at all so we both had to cancel things. This is for the next few weeks. She wants to try and pinpoint any problems (there aren't any re how me and job share work) She said she's going to ask all our volunteers for feedback. They will totally hate that..she's done it before and they feel they are being interrogated. She's trying to prove something, what I don't know. Feels a bit like micro managing. Nothing has been said re lateness and I've decided to take the moral high ground despite feeling resentful, and making big effort to get in early now. I'm sure in next appraisal it will still be brought up but let's see if I get that far :(

[Shakey15000]

Blimey, sounds like she's got you seen up like a kipper. Why are you answering emails on your day off?? Good luck finding another job and at the very least, put your foot down about breaks and the emails. She's a control freak.

[BeyondVulvaResistance]

Re the 'legally 20 mins over six hours', surely that's the minimum that must be contracted. If OPs contract says 1 hour, she's entitled to 1 hour!!

[BeyondVulvaResistance]

I also agree with whoever said that they bet whoever employs the BM thinks she is in the shop all day. So I'd definitely go over her head.

[insancerre]

Have you considered working the job share so that you both do every day but one does opening and one does closing?
Then you won't need a break if you are only working a morning or an afternoon

[Holdtheslaw]

My friend worked for a charity and it was just like this - awful. She was exhausted and stressed - I'm wondering if you're working for the same or if you're actually her replacement ! Pm me if you like

[boo2410]

God Alltoomuch, I hope you find something soon then you can tell your BM to shove her job up her arse (maybe not quite like that) and tell her why. Would be great if your jobshare partner could do it too wouldn't it?

[SouperSal]

Have you considered working the job share so that you both do every day but one does opening and one does closing?
Then you won't need a break if you are only working a morning or an afternoon

Increased costs of getting to work (time and money) and means a 6 day working week instead of 3 or 4. Would be madness.

[Sorka]

However much you love this charity, you are being taken advantage of by a demanding micro-manager with no respect for your personal time or employment law. Sad though it is, sounds like it's time to move on to another job. I once worked for a micro-manager with similar traits and stayed for too long. By the time I finally left my confidence was shattered.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

Am back again needing advice. Even unhappier.
Branch manager decided for me to swap all my days with my job share for a period , which is still ongoing. She said to see things with fresh eyes but I know her too well to know this isn't the full reason. It's like she's trying to catch me out for something , what I dont' know. I've been a scapegoat from the start and always had to prove myself, because they sacked a very dodgy manager before me. I got tarred with his brush and was definitely micro managed from day one whilst constantly hearing about his misdemeanours . I was often warned off the things he did even though I had no intention of doing same... this man is nothing to me and I felt it very unfair because they were assuming I would be the same ( I do appreciate they would have done this to anyone who replaced him, but that doesn't make it any easier for me)

Anyway, I have received email from BM today (always on my day off!) stating she's already spoken to some of the volunteers I've worked with on what aren't my usual days, for feedback. One person (I don't know who) said I wasn't as fun and bubbly as my jobshare. My BM has taken this seriously. I enjoyed working with the other people and we had a good laugh. So I feel this is unfair and definitely a case of some people wil never be happy/ there's no pleasing everyone and they hate change so they were always going to prefer a familar face. I am not quite as bubbly as my jobshare but I do have a good laugh, and always make sure work is a fun place and always thank my volunteers and look after them. In short terms.. I value them..I've been one myself enough times and was one again before this job too (in another charity)
But on the flip side I've never been in a job where volunteers were q'd about the paid staff and then it was reported back without naming names. Being unfair because we work with some people with SN and mental illnesses who just do not respond well to change.you can go in all bright and breezy armed with a boxful of donuts and still be met with a hostile face re 'where's the other lady'....
My job share who is/was 'meant' to be also a friend , has been going behind my back tittling to BM over things she thinks are mistakes, when it's a matter of crossed wires and lack of continuity(due to our days being swapped) we always leave notes and also speak a lot on messenger in the evening ..often for hours... so it's sad that just recently she's been going to BM and not to me if there's a problem (or at least something she wants differently... which is hard when two people are trying to work the same way but managing very different volunteers)
I had written a sign for shop window as asked to do, but in the 'wrong' colour pen as it turns out, and this morning , job share messaged me a photo of it..just that , no words just a photo of my 'crime' yet we are meant to be a team (why could she have not just thrown it away and re written one? It wouldnt now surprise me if she had sent the photo to BM too). It made me feel like a naughty school girl. It's passive aggressive , is it not? (much as I hate using those words)

I can't take much more and the what feels like going behind back... always this feedbck from anon volunteers who dont like change (on my days, my volunteers say that I'm a good laugh and they only want to work with me! But I d never report that as would feel like one upmanship well womanship ,and we are meant to be a team
i feel like, with no job to go to, giving in notice. But I know BM would not accept it and would demand full explanation. She would definitely ask for an exit interview too. I don't know how I'd work my month's atmosphere in a bad atmosphere (which I don't want; plus I need a reference!) I don't feel strong enough to give full reasons and then have to go and work in a hostile place. If I try and explain myself I know I'll come across as defensive. But I've had 29 years in retail and been a manager since I was 22 years old. I've not had these issues/treatment in other jobs and I've done all sorts of retail not just charity

[alltoomuchrightnow]

i wonder if i shoudl even point out that it feels like micro managing

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Oh OP what an utter bitch.

If I were you I would resign. You can't be forced to work your notice, to explain or attend an exit interview.

Can you get signed off with stress and spend a week intensively job hunting - signing up to agencies etc.?

I wouldn't hold out any hope for a reference sadly, your manager sounds deranged!