…to think that my work should cut me a bit of slack over this

[alltoomuchrightnow]

I'm not sure, I may well be U so I'll accept general consensus here.

I am, on average, late for work about once a month but never more than five or ten minutes, apart from the week before last I had a mini crisis (won't go into detail as don't want to out self) and was 25 minutes late.

Rang boss as soon as I got in and she was fine about it.. totally understanding. However roll on a few days and she changed her tune and started grilling others as to why I was late (even though she knew why I was - I was upset as was obviously trying to catch me out? as to my reasons? ) which surprised me. It's a shop and I'm the one opening so I can understand her reaction but as she said..it's extremely quiet first thing (and I opened late to make up for lost time..) and not like I do this all the time (her words)

Re being occasionally 5-10 minutes late is because I come a very rural way and there's often roads closed/diversions , bad accidents (cars speeding and crashing on long lanes), hold ups with horses, tractors, cyclists etc. I always give myself longer than I need to get in (because of aforementioned) but some things can't be predicted for the 20 mile journey, no matter how early I leave

Re cutting me some slack… I don't get any breaks at work whatsoever. I don't get paid for an hour's lunch I'm meant to have each day. Boss fully aware of this (its the same for my job share, whom I don't work with). I am not allowed to leave shop or to leave colleagues alone. I have been told that there's no reason for me to ever leave the shop in opening hours. It can be stressful if I need to nip to bank/shops whatever or to make a phone call (as I get no signal at work) as I can't, but most of the time I just suck it up as I have no choice (I can't just sneak out..am on camera and boss will often watch..she works from home) . I wouldn't mind if I was paid for the full day as I'm used to, in my employment history of retail, usually not having breaks. If I had an unpaid break (or was paid for the full day without a break) then I guess I wouldn't be asking this… I would agree I was being unreasonable and being late (for whatever reason) is unprofessional and annoying

I also stay late nearly every night as there's so much to do after closing, including cleaning which I do all myself (don't get paid for after hours but it has to be done…I'm used to this as a manager though as pretty much the norm everywhere I've worked)

The last few weeks I've also not been getting in early , reason being because of not wanting to be away from home any longer than have to (DP having had a massive bereavement, also having a sick pet) but I still leave late each night. I should stress that this isn't me making a stand (not getting in early) because of the no breaks. They would like me in every day 15 -20 minutes early BEFORE I open up but I get everything done and ready the night before. Given what's going on at home and the no breaks situation I guess I justified it to myself to get in dead on time (or a few minutes early usually) rather than early. Nothing's been said about this though I'm sure it will be soon (and from this week I'll start coming in early again but that's the choice I've made for myself)

But the main issue being she is angry over me being 25 minutes late (and also if it comes up that I've been in mainly on time each day rather than early) when initially she was fine about it. So..should she cut me some slack because a/ I had good reason to be late that day and b/ because I work through my break, unpaid, every day ??

I'm not trying to be difficult and say, well if I'm late just call it my lunch break! I'm just wishing there'd be some balance. Of course I want the shop to open on time each day as it will reflect badly on me. But sometimes things happen and re the breaks they are being illegal

[HelenaDove]

Postchildrenpregranny Thu 07-Jul-16 10:45:09
My DD is an NHS worker and yes rarely gets a proper break (or even get to the loo)
But the difference is someone might die if she insists on her break .



I do see what you mean by this but i do hope the loyalty will work both ways if she ever gets kidney stones.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

ok Souper, why? Am open to advice!

[SouperSal]

I would probably say when resigning that I have stress and depression and not elaborate.

Don't do this.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

I wish DP could just say 'don't worry , just leave and we'll worry about the rest later' I really envy people who can do that .. we can't afford to… it puts me in a position where I'll feel guilty if I leave.. both to DP and to the fundraising I do… and letting down the nice people there..but am end of tether…wish I just had the money to say stuff it but we are skint

[alltoomuchrightnow]

I will see what happens tomorrow and if there's any snippy notes left for me as I'm certain she was in the shop today
That will clinch it
I would probably say when resigning that I have stress and depression and not elaborate. They can work it out for themselves. (and I wouldn't be lying)Some of that is not work related but the majority of it definitely is
DP is away for ten days and I feel really alone
He wants me to leave but ONLY if I have another job to go to
I feel too depressed and demoralised to look seriously (that's not an excuse! just how it is) though am checking a place out on Friday that needs someone (similar field)

[alltoomuchrightnow]

4little, she hasn't, as never worked in retail before
She is obsessed with feedback and says she has more volunteers to get through and expects more to come to light (of what she doesn't say! )
She is 'HR' although she doesn't do any HR. She's a one woman team. She can't cope with anything. I certainly can't go to her when she's partly the cause. Her admin support left (although still in company ) who was in theory her HR

[4littlemonsters]

Good lord where has this BM had training?? I'm guessing nowhere.

It's not appropriate to obtain 'feedback' in this manner.

Write Everything down, diarise it, keep emails and messages.

Go to CAB or a regional manager or HR. Sounds like you have grounds for a grievance.

Good luck

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

Oh OP what an utter bitch.

If I were you I would resign. You can't be forced to work your notice, to explain or attend an exit interview.

Can you get signed off with stress and spend a week intensively job hunting - signing up to agencies etc.?

I wouldn't hold out any hope for a reference sadly, your manager sounds deranged!

[alltoomuchrightnow]

i wonder if i shoudl even point out that it feels like micro managing

[alltoomuchrightnow]

Am back again needing advice. Even unhappier.
Branch manager decided for me to swap all my days with my job share for a period , which is still ongoing. She said to see things with fresh eyes but I know her too well to know this isn't the full reason. It's like she's trying to catch me out for something , what I dont' know. I've been a scapegoat from the start and always had to prove myself, because they sacked a very dodgy manager before me. I got tarred with his brush and was definitely micro managed from day one whilst constantly hearing about his misdemeanours . I was often warned off the things he did even though I had no intention of doing same... this man is nothing to me and I felt it very unfair because they were assuming I would be the same ( I do appreciate they would have done this to anyone who replaced him, but that doesn't make it any easier for me)

Anyway, I have received email from BM today (always on my day off!) stating she's already spoken to some of the volunteers I've worked with on what aren't my usual days, for feedback. One person (I don't know who) said I wasn't as fun and bubbly as my jobshare. My BM has taken this seriously. I enjoyed working with the other people and we had a good laugh. So I feel this is unfair and definitely a case of some people wil never be happy/ there's no pleasing everyone and they hate change so they were always going to prefer a familar face. I am not quite as bubbly as my jobshare but I do have a good laugh, and always make sure work is a fun place and always thank my volunteers and look after them. In short terms.. I value them..I've been one myself enough times and was one again before this job too (in another charity)
But on the flip side I've never been in a job where volunteers were q'd about the paid staff and then it was reported back without naming names. Being unfair because we work with some people with SN and mental illnesses who just do not respond well to change.you can go in all bright and breezy armed with a boxful of donuts and still be met with a hostile face re 'where's the other lady'....
My job share who is/was 'meant' to be also a friend , has been going behind my back tittling to BM over things she thinks are mistakes, when it's a matter of crossed wires and lack of continuity(due to our days being swapped) we always leave notes and also speak a lot on messenger in the evening ..often for hours... so it's sad that just recently she's been going to BM and not to me if there's a problem (or at least something she wants differently... which is hard when two people are trying to work the same way but managing very different volunteers)
I had written a sign for shop window as asked to do, but in the 'wrong' colour pen as it turns out, and this morning , job share messaged me a photo of it..just that , no words just a photo of my 'crime' yet we are meant to be a team (why could she have not just thrown it away and re written one? It wouldnt now surprise me if she had sent the photo to BM too). It made me feel like a naughty school girl. It's passive aggressive , is it not? (much as I hate using those words)

I can't take much more and the what feels like going behind back... always this feedbck from anon volunteers who dont like change (on my days, my volunteers say that I'm a good laugh and they only want to work with me! But I d never report that as would feel like one upmanship well womanship ,and we are meant to be a team
i feel like, with no job to go to, giving in notice. But I know BM would not accept it and would demand full explanation. She would definitely ask for an exit interview too. I don't know how I'd work my month's atmosphere in a bad atmosphere (which I don't want; plus I need a reference!) I don't feel strong enough to give full reasons and then have to go and work in a hostile place. If I try and explain myself I know I'll come across as defensive. But I've had 29 years in retail and been a manager since I was 22 years old. I've not had these issues/treatment in other jobs and I've done all sorts of retail not just charity

[Sorka]

However much you love this charity, you are being taken advantage of by a demanding micro-manager with no respect for your personal time or employment law. Sad though it is, sounds like it's time to move on to another job. I once worked for a micro-manager with similar traits and stayed for too long. By the time I finally left my confidence was shattered.

[SouperSal]

Have you considered working the job share so that you both do every day but one does opening and one does closing?
Then you won't need a break if you are only working a morning or an afternoon

Increased costs of getting to work (time and money) and means a 6 day working week instead of 3 or 4. Would be madness.

[boo2410]

God Alltoomuch, I hope you find something soon then you can tell your BM to shove her job up her arse (maybe not quite like that) and tell her why. Would be great if your jobshare partner could do it too wouldn't it?

[Holdtheslaw]

My friend worked for a charity and it was just like this - awful. She was exhausted and stressed - I'm wondering if you're working for the same or if you're actually her replacement ! Pm me if you like

[insancerre]

Have you considered working the job share so that you both do every day but one does opening and one does closing?
Then you won't need a break if you are only working a morning or an afternoon

[BeyondVulvaResistance]

I also agree with whoever said that they bet whoever employs the BM thinks she is in the shop all day. So I'd definitely go over her head.

[BeyondVulvaResistance]

Re the 'legally 20 mins over six hours', surely that's the minimum that must be contracted. If OPs contract says 1 hour, she's entitled to 1 hour!!

[Shakey15000]

Blimey, sounds like she's got you seen up like a kipper. Why are you answering emails on your day off?? Good luck finding another job and at the very least, put your foot down about breaks and the emails. She's a control freak.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

To answer some q's... I run to loo between customers. During opening hours I am not allowed to leave the shop because we can't shut it, and I'm not allowed to leave any volunteers unattended (no matter how competent they are ..but none on my days are anyway so I can understand that they can't be left. Most of my volunteers refuse to go on the till and the ones that do need constant supervision . Branch manager has told me there's no circumstance where i need to leave the shop. Yes it is unfair that I can't even close for like 15 minutes to go and sit in my car or something, like in the short times where I have no volunteers in).
I am looking for other jobs because BM keeps moving goal posts. Am still getting long emails on my days off. It usually ruins my days off. I feel I can't just ignore them (the emails). She will ask me to do something specific and I'll do it then a few days later she changes her mind.
My big bugbear right now is that she swopped my days around with my job share, at no notice at all so we both had to cancel things. This is for the next few weeks. She wants to try and pinpoint any problems (there aren't any re how me and job share work) She said she's going to ask all our volunteers for feedback. They will totally hate that..she's done it before and they feel they are being interrogated. She's trying to prove something, what I don't know. Feels a bit like micro managing. Nothing has been said re lateness and I've decided to take the moral high ground despite feeling resentful, and making big effort to get in early now. I'm sure in next appraisal it will still be brought up but let's see if I get that far :(

[SouperSal]

That's £9k take home........ Still appalling, but not as bad as £9k gross.

[hotdiggedy]

£9000 a year for all that nonsense? What on earth?? How much do the people below you earn then? Surely you would earn more sitting on a till in a supermarket wouldn't you?

[EveOnline2016]

Find a job else where.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

plus only have to give a minimal amount to the charity

Sorry what ?

[Postchildrenpregranny]

My DD is an NHS worker and yes rarely gets a proper break (or even get to the loo)
But the difference is someone might die if she insists on her break .

[Postchildrenpregranny]

I have just stopped voĺunteering ,after several years, for a (International )charity whose work I really admire ,as their whole management structure was awful and the shop I worked in badly managed (by a manager paid peanuts I have to say) .The regional manager,with whom I and another volunteer raised concerns,as tactfully as possible, managed ,I think, 29 shops .I suspect it's endemic in the charity sector They are pilloried for paying decent salaries as people feel ,quite rightly,that the bulk of money raised should go towards the work .But they can (not always obviously)end up with inexperienced managers, sometimes with poor people skills, who cannot delegate, manage teams to get the best out of people .Profits suffer.
If you work alone that in itself is dodgy practice (Health and Safety issues)and yes it is illegal to work more than six hours without a twenty minute break .