AIBU to wonder why some parents feel the need to...

[AnnaToboggan]

Post the contents of their childs school report on FB?

It seems such an odd thing to do. I understand that they are proud of their achievements, but I just don't get why they do it.

School reports out today and we have photos of exam results, transcripts, snippets and full sections copied out.

Is anyone else as baffled as I am?

[Fannyupcrutch]

I am very guilty of this, I always share my kids school reports on fb and tag the family too. My family is all over the place and we are still close and take a keen interest in our kids lives. Plus, my eldest son was pretty much non verbal as a youngster and is autistic. I would ever believe that he would go to a mainstream school, never mind do as well as he has done! So yeah, im going to share his report on my page, I like seeing all the As for science and maths and knowing that despite not understanding how to structure an argument he still gets Bs in English and History. And I am going to buy him a sterling silver engraved pocket watch when he gets his GCSE results and might even have an entire day of celebrating his achivements. Then I might even do it all over again when he goes to enrol into the gifted and talented group for A level and oxbridge prep sessions And i will do it again for every milestone hea reaches, his Chem Bsc,MA and then Phd. And when he reaches his goal of being a proffessor. If somebody doesnt like it on my FB then they can delete themselves. My son achievements have taken my entire family being behind him and a fabulous support system at school to achieve and its taken him a massive amount of dedication. I should be fucking proud, he couldnt even sit in a class room without screaming or shutting down for the first 7 years of his school life!

And yes, I make a massive fuss of my other kids too. I am proud of all of them, they spend 14 years in school, it seems a shame NOT to make a massive fuss of their achievements. You are all miserable gits

[sharknad0]

It depends, all the contact on my private Facebook are close friends and family only, so it's a nice way to share good (and bad) news, and I really can't see what's wrong with parents being proud of their kids. It's not exactly for the world to see when what you post is restricted to a handful of close people. Of course, your account can be hacked, but so can your emails. There was a virus a couple of years ago, that was sending your documents, randomly, to people on your email contact list. Once you are online, nothing is really safe.

On the other hand, if you have 900 friends including random strangers, neighbours and someone you spoke with once at the bus stop, then I agree, it's a bit weird.

If you don't like Facebook, don't go on it, don't put yourself into a state because you don't agree with something or people put trigger some weird jealousy.

Ime the only people that boast in public about how clever their Dec are are abit thick themselves. Parents with properly clever Dc keep quiet... good grief, talk about yourself!

[Floggingmolly]

Nobody's suggesting you shouldn't make a massive fuss of your kid's achievements, fanny. We all do, actually... Just don't expect relative strangers to give a shit.
Strange how it's assumed that people who don't shout "look at meeeee" like professional glory hounds are assumed to not care as much as the one's taking out adverts in the local paper

[AnnPerkins]

Last year a FB friend 'liked' a picture of one of their FB friends clutching her daughter in a death grip selfie pose and grinning maniacally. Between them they were displaying a very fancy-looking, bound report from one of the local independent schools.

This ended up on my newsfeed, due to the woman's lack of privacy settings I assume.

Why she wanted to publish the picture on the internet for countless strangers to see was beyond me, but mostly it was the posing with her daughter that made me roll my eyes. Like her daughter had done this wonderful thing and she wanted in on the glory

I watch every Friday for another FB friend to post her weekly 'my children are so marvelous, look at all the awards the school has given them this week' post. And there is always one, I've never known three such incredibly talented and angelic children.

[chameleon43]

Fanny - no one is suggesting you shouldn't celebrate your kids achievements. Well done to your son - and all the future achievements he has planned.

All that's being said here is that sharing full details of school reports is OTT. School reports are largely meaningless as teachers are not allowed to say anything negative? If you want to share these details with your family go ahead - but by sharing it on facebook you are sharing it with a far larger group of people?

[WorraLiberty]

Fanny, how would you feel if you found out today, that for the last few years, someone had been sharing that sort of personal information about you online (complete with photos), without your knowledge or permission?

[Fannyupcrutch]

waorraLiberty I am active in several disability circles, campaigning for better rights. I am also very active in child absue/victim recovery and self help groups too. I have written a very public, very long and detailed account of my struggle to come off antipsychotic drugs and live a drug free life despite my mental and pyshical illness. Anybody that googles my real name will be able to find that information out about me. Or you know, they can just ask me. I have posted about it on this group several times too. I am not ashamed.

As for my kids, have raised my children to always consider that if their actions were to be reported in a newspaper, would they be happy with their family reading about them? It seems to work. And as for will our kids hate that we have done it? lets be honest, its not like kids have been cringing at their parents behaviour since fb was invented, that's a long time thing. My safety settings are locked down and so is my families. So I see no harm. I don't post anything that I am ashamed of, of that THEY would be ashamed of.

[Dumbledoresgirl]

The thing is, it sounds as though the OP is fb friends with a lot of people she knows from her kids' school. 'School reports came out today'. So, yes, I can imagine, having received our own child's report today, you don't want to read anyone else's, and particularly not children you see every day and might well know a bit about already.

I am not a poster of my children's reports, but I don't mind reading other people's boasts about reports because they are either children of friends or family whom I care about, or they are friends of internet acquaintances whom I am nosey about.

I do agree with some people here though: if you are not going to share some parts of your life on fb, don't be on it. Or limit your friends to people you would normally share this sort of news with. Personally, I prefer to read about a child's report than be subjected to the endless inpersonal articles some people link to. Or the cartoon jokes/statements.

[Fannyupcrutch]

Oh, and WORRA, I did have my children's permission. I always allow them to see family snaps, etc and choose any they dont like to be removed. I also only share my updates to the family group, although I only have 60 odd people on my facebook.

And anyways, why the doody do I feel the need to even justify my actions ?! I will post what I like on my facebook, and other people have every single right to moan and groan about something that you Can Not Even See. Huzzah!

[AgentPineapple]

Don't know what the big deal is personally, people post loads of stuff on Facebook that I'm not interested in, so I don't read it. I have a friend who posts a million pictures of her cat under an album called 'the adventures of I don't get it, but hey it's her Facebook. I have posted on Facebook in the past about my children's achievements and will continue to do so. Like someone else on the thread says, they enjoy reading about their friends kids etc, I enjoy reading about my friends kids and the 'likes' I get tell me that they enjoy it too.

[reallybadidea]

However bad Facebook boasting is, it's 100 times better than the opposite - moaning about what a disappointment your kids are on FB. I have a 'friend' who does this, with comments such as. 'Josh got his exam results today. Another mediocre set of results. If he worked a bit harder then maybe he would have a chance of going to university, but not the way he is going'. It's AWFUL.

[BananaChew]

Hate it. Quite often de-friend over it. Normally the kids in question are little bastard anyway.

It does make a good filter though. Helps weed out those that annoy me and clutter up my newsfeed with drivel about their children I am barely interested in

[eloquent]

So, what are people allowed to post on their own Facebook page?

These are supposed to be friends, don't you care how their kids are doing?

Personally I love hearing about my friends kids.

[BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn]

YANBU. I find its the people that like to stealth boast that do this sort of shit. I also hate it when people address their DC on FB, who isn't on there and won't see it, cue loads of replies. Like 'daddy want so say a huge happy birthday to X, love you loads" etc etc, replies "happy birthday x". You aren't actually addressing the child! What's they point! Oh yes, to tell the rest of the world what a wonderful parent you are because you put a post on FB.

I rarely put a status. Will out the odd photo up at birthday, Christmas etc because some family and close friends will like to see it, I delete them all after a while. I am on there for ease of organising group events and some groups I'm on and for 1 friend who lives away and I never get to see. If it wasn't for these reasons I wouldn't bother with it.

[BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn]

really, that's awful! That poor child!

[Mycatsabastard]

YY to this. And the ones who post about their kid getting a Helper of the Week or something plus their endless badges earned at Scouts. I don't care if your child can tie a knot. It's lovely and all that but I don't need to see his grinning face holding up yet another piece of paper which says he put a few chairs away last week.

I'm a bit cranky today due to lack of sleep. I may be more tolerant about Little Helper awards and Scout badges tomorrow. :o

[WorraLiberty]

Fanny, a simple "I'd be fine about it" would have done

[BananaChew]

Well none of my friends are my friends because they have kids, so whilst I am happy for my friends that they are happy, I'm also not really that interested in their progress in maths, or why they had for dinner that night, or that they can now identify all their colours.

Kids are a huge part of our lives and some social media sharing is inevitable, and nice I guess. But there is a difference between 'Little Bob is eight today!' with a picture of him grinning over a birthday cake, and 'Little Bob 2 is eight today! Love you Little Bob!! Enjoy your fifty million presents which I will photograph and then upload to Facebook! I'm going to document all of your day and then tell everyone about it all so that everyone is in no doubt that you are happy and I am happy and MY LIFE IS GOOD. LOVE YOU LITTLE BOB 2!!!!' Little Bob 2's mother is a bellend

[MumsTheWordYouKnow]

Exactly Pictish and sparepants. Whilst I wouldn't post actual reports, which I agree is ridiculous. The degree to which people moan about what people post is annoying.

If it was blatant bragging all the time then just unfollow someone otherwise I think it's nice to see what people are doing and see pics of families etc. It's cute that someone posts a pic of a baby saying happy Father's Day. It's showing they are proud to be parents. What's wrong with that, I've seen much more annoying stuff than that. Eg a friend who helped an old neighbour who had fallen over and gashed his head open, she posted on FB about how she helped him and not only that graphic pictures of his head and bruising, why, I have no idea.

I get confused with all the 'manners' we're supposed to have it just gets OTT. Some people need to chill.

[MumsTheWordYouKnow]

Ps to those who say there children won't see messages to them. Yes they will if there parents show them. It's nice that far away people send good wishes about various little things in their lives.

[MumsTheWordYouKnow]

*their not there!

[pictish]

Really I have a fb friend who I find really nice and good fun in rl, but who makes frequent jokes and observations about her eldest child's clumsiness/stupidity on fb. I know she doesn't mean anything by it but it does read as being a bit of a shame for the kid who is actually very charming and lovely. best kept as an 'in joke' imo.

[OohMavis]

I post a happy, positive comment when DS comes home with a special achievement or report. Mainly for family who live abroad, they enjoy seeing updates and having the chance to like and comment. Usually something along the lines of 'DS came home with a lovely shiny certificate for great behaviour today! I'm rather proud."

Typing out whole sections of reports though...

[thetigerdidit]

I won't lie, I think know I overshare on fb. I figure it is easy to avoid/unfollow. It is so easy to p*ss people off on fb too, most people get annoyed by some things (my pet peeve is the ridiculously uninspiring (oft miseplt) quotes on serene images about life or 'share if you have the most amazing daughter ever' kind of crap). I would not go as far as posting a school report, that seems extreme YANBU.. (I have done a 'proud of dd after parents eve' as the week before she had bitten a child (oh the shame ) and I shared my fb angst about my little horror.
Father's day posts were highly irritating too (bah humbug)
Mind you i have also shared photos of tantrums and mistakenly drawn willies (I'm that kind of fb poster...) If I could be arsed to write a blog I would prob enjoy it...my children will likely disown me by the time they are 12...

[ztunm]

Does it matter? Don't like it, don't read it. Just carry on scrolling.

Maybe they are put online for family living at a distance, maybe other friends do care.

I can't say I am fussed about it myself, same as those couples who are always showing how much in love they are, bleurgh. Yes, it can be a little too much but just let them crack on with it.

I say this, but I must admit I've recently put a post on FB as a jab at those wishing their single mums/or single mums in general, a happy fathers day. I understand you think they are great because they do the job of two parents, but they are not your father, they are your mother and they have their own day and funnily enough, it's called mothers day!