AIBU to wonder why some parents feel the need to...

[AnnaToboggan]

Post the contents of their childs school report on FB?

It seems such an odd thing to do. I understand that they are proud of their achievements, but I just don't get why they do it.

School reports out today and we have photos of exam results, transcripts, snippets and full sections copied out.

Is anyone else as baffled as I am?

[HermioneWeasley]

Oh come on, the messages to dead parents on their birthday/Father's Day etc have got to be the oddest thing on FB, surely?

[pictish]

They do it because they are proud and delighted. It's harmless isn't it?

It's not something I would post but I tend to veer away from anything too personal on fb.

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

I don't post my DC's reports on FB (before I say what I'm about to!)

But, I do wonder what the people who complain about things like this actually use FB for. Surely anything you post on there can be seen the same way and I've heard the following before:

Holiday photos/posts: "Urgh look at them showing off about being away, they obviously aren't having that good a holiday if they've got so much time to post on FB"

Nights out: "OMG look at them pretending to be oh so popular and sociable with all their many friends"

Photos/posts about their children: "Cringe, your child is ugly and a brat"

Happy birthday posts: "God those people would never wish HER a happy birthday in real life so why put it on FB just because you've been reminded it's their birthday"

Etc!

So those who moan about these things, what do you use FB for?

[Splandy]

YANBU. It is so cringey. I saw one a few months ago after parents evening. The mom wrote quite a few paragraphs about how special and intelligent her children were, with the implication that they were better than other children. "Can do this, this, this and this. Her teacher says she's in the top six in the class." What an odd thing for a teacher to have said. I struggle to believe that it really happened. And six is such an odd number! Then one of her friends came on, full of false praise for her children, desperate to tell her "teacher said my daughter's in the top six too, hun. Aren't we so lucky to have such intelligent children"! The status ended by saying something about her youngest child, "and to top it all off, youngest has come home and recited her alpahabet correctly and in order and knows the words to baa baa black sheep and twinkle twinkle little star", or something similar which clearly indicates that her child is a genius

I was so in awe of the bragging that I kept the page open so I could read it out to my husband when he came home. I've never seen bragging like it!

[t1mum]

I'm with you sparepants. I've noticed a massive drop in people I know posting anything on fb (although some have moved over to Instagram). The whole point of social media is to share. What's the point in being on fb if you're not going to give snippets of your life. I love seeing people's holiday snaps or finding out about how their kids are doing. Yes, it's a bit grating to see things that are pure boasting, but in the scheme of things....

Also, lots of people I know posted messages to their deceased fathers on Sunday. Yes, on the face of it, it's a bit weird. But they were just expressing something that was important to them at that moment.

[WellDoYaPunk]

what do you use fb for

Entertainment - buzzfeed, daily mash, new scientist, taste, mumsnet etc

Groups- Mrs gloss, some health groups relative to ds's disease,couple of craft one I'm interested in, diy

News - papers etc

I've unfollowed all but a few & use it to read ++ articles, it's a good way to bring everything you're interested in to one place

[Onenerfwarfrombreakdown]

Ime the only people that boast in public about how clever their Dec are are abit thick themselves. Parents with properly clever Dc keep quiet...

Yes this!! All reports are couched in very positive terms now, so there's not much difference between an "average" report and a "great" report either imo.

To the PP who asked, I post a few holiday photos but only once we are back (so we don't get burgled), I really don't post photos on rare nights out as it's usually too dark to get a decent pic, I'm too drunk to remember to take any or I look hideous in them.
I will post a funny story or nice pic of DS but only with his permission (he's 10) and not very often.
I do wish people Happy Birthday as I think it's a nice thing to do.
I share funny stories, local info that may be useful to other friends/mum chums and occasionally news stories that I have an opinion on.

[NickiFury]

As always I find myself not having an issue with what other people choose to share on FB as long as it isn't downright offensive. Personally I am interested in other people and what makes them tick, always have been and if I wasn't interested in the minutiae of their lives I would either unfollow them or not have them on my FB at all....

[Onenerfwarfrombreakdown]

And yes, like punk I use it for sites and groups I'm interested in as its easy to get them all together.

[pinkladyapple]

Someone on my facebook posted a picture of her newborn along with something like "[Baby] says happy fathers day! She loves you!"

The cynic inside me wanted to say "No. Baby poops and asks for food and gets confused by random shapes and colours."

[knowler]

It's no weirder than sharing anything else on FB to do with your kids I guess. I personally wouldn't (DS1 only Reception so far) because I think it crosses the line of invading the child's privacy/private life.

On the other hand, had FB been around when I was a child, I know full well that my DM would never have mentioned anything about my reports, even though I was a straight A swot from beginning to end of school It used to enrage me that others used to get praised to the rafters, paid £10 for every A they got, and I got diddly-squat. The lack of praise and acknowledgement has made me the person I am today though (bitter, twisted etc )

[Margrethe]

I've never seen anyone do this on FB. It wouldn't bother me if they did. And it wouldn't make me feel compelled to join in.

People bragging, boasting, and showing off on FB never troubles me. I only get annoyed, if I think my children's privacy has been compromised by aquaintences posting pictures of them.

[pictish]

I agree Sparepants

I think part of the problems is that many of us Brits like to practice self deprecation as a form of good manners. If it's not rude to blow your own trumpet, it's certainly regarded as pointed...which makes us underplaying sorts bristle.

[sue51]

What's even wierder imo, is those people who are incredibly offended that they don't get hundreds of likes for every insignificant post.

[123lekl]

I'm 'friends' with someone on Facebook who has inserted proudmummy into her name, between her first and last name. It makes me cringe and want to punch the screen every time I see it for some reason! I've hidden her posts now

[pictish]

Also agree with Nicki - I'm rarely aggravated by what people post on fb - although I may occasionally roll an eye.
It's nice to share good news, happy times and to express your delight in a loved one. Those are the moments that make it worth getting out of bed in the morning.

[RiverTam]

I don't like it mainly because I find the idea of putting other people's private reports on FB awful. Have you actually asked your DC if they want their report scanned and uploaded onto FB for all the world to see?

Fine to say you're proud of your DC for xyz, though better imo to encourage your DC to be proud of themselves. But posting actual reports? No, absolutely not.

[blueskyinmarch]

And yet people constantly ask me why i have never had Facebook....

[NoMudNoLotus]

I don't know how people can fail to be bothered by the idiocy that takes places on FB.

FB is actively encouraging the next generation to be a generation of narcissists.

[pictish]

Serial superfluous selfie posters stick in my craw admittedly. I don't know how they're not embarrassed at their own narcissism and neediness.

[WorraLiberty]

I don't get why you're 'baffled' really. I would have thought it was obvious that it's their way of 'putting it out there', that they're proud of their children.

In the same way they post photos of their children and then complain when others do

Personally I'm just really glad I was a child of the 70s/80s, as I wonder if the younger generation will resent their parents for putting so many personal photos/information on line about them.

The only 'baffling' thing for me is how so many adults would hate it, if someone posted a pic of them online without their permission, but they're quite happy to do it to their kids.

[Floggingmolly]

They do it because they're proud and delighted
Really? No matter how proud and delighted my children make me (and they do, frequently ) I would never assume anyone else wants chapter and verse; in the form of actual copies of their school reports.
As Salty said upthread, even the dimmest in the class will have had a very positive spin put on their mediocre results; they literally don't say anything negative.
Probably copied and pasted from the clever kids report with the really good bits left out

[chameleon43]

ah now you see - facebook can be a tool for having a laugh at the world! I tend to put the funny stuff that's happened to us on there - including when my kids have misbehaved and when I've had epic parenting fails.

I dislike all the boasting type posts - the fathers day one where a colleague thanked her dh for " giving her such beautiful, intelligent children" made me want to hurl. But then I wouldn't post any of the things she does - I don't think anyone is interested in photos of us on a night out etc?

Luckily none of my friends post anything about their kids reports. That would be a defriending issue for me.

[Laiste]

Nodding along to pictish etc. here.

Worra - I wonder if the younger generation will resent their parents for putting so many personal photos/information on line about them.

This interests me. I'm not on FB and never have been. My eldest DCs are old enough to make their own choices about FB; DD1 and 2 joined in their mid teens then deleted their accounts a couple of years later. DD3 still has hers but just uses hers to nose at the unbelievable amount of personal details and show boating crap see what her old school mates are posting on there. She adds nothing about herself.

As an aside, my BIL had to pay a fair amount to someone to 'clean up' his online image a few years ago. He was applying for a very senior position in a prestigious company and knew they'd be checking his online presence - past and present - on FB ect. There were some photos on there which - what shall we say - contrasted violently with the squeaky clean image on his CV. (he did get the job so it was worth the effort) It's something to remind your kids about.