with DD's clothes

[Pritti7]

DH and I have very big families, we were showered with loads of clothes when DD was born and whenever relatives come to visit they bring new outfits for DD. Those who can't visit, send parcels :) bless em'. I feel horrible saying this but I didn't like most of the stuff gifted but i didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (most of these relatives have been nice to me and they love and pamper DD a lot as there are very few girls in both our families. They feel really delighted to see DD's pics on fb in one of the outfits they gifted) so I use the clothes anyway, unless of course it is absolutely appalling. I always thought that when I start dressing DD she will look like my little princess :)

Since past few months I have started looking for dresses for DD and feel really disappointed with most of the stuff available. Either the print/colour is not pretty or the fabric is too stiff or its polyester or just bad quality. And what I do like is upward of £75. I have bought stuff from tk maxx, next, monsoon, m&s and mothercare but, with the exception of a couple, after putting them on DD didn't quite like them and returned them.

DH says I am being a perfectionist, bordering unreasonable and stressing myself unnecessarily.

Am I being unreasonable?
or
am I not looking in the right places?
and
Do you feel the same as me or am I the only one?

[coolaschmoola]

I'd rather spend money on making memories and giving my children experiences than ridiculously expensive clothes, even though we can afford to. A family day out having fun means far more to my dd than any article of clothing will - and that's exactly as it should be. I don't want to raise my dd to judge her worth based on clothing and I find it terribly sad that your own experiences may result in the same for your children Mumma. You had nothing growing up and it affected you so you value appearance more than most. What if this then results in your dd's self worth being linked to how they look instead of who they are? What if they can't afford to do it when they're older and feel useless because they have been taught expensive = pretty?

OP - Vertbaudet are nice and not expensive.

[happypoobum]

Portia

[thebigmummabear]

cody I wouldn't be cross with her ruining anything! They have no concept of how much their clothes cost! My daughters frequently do all of the above, what a shame your DD's classmate is considered odd! I find it disgraceful that attitude exists! I have always taught my children no matter what anyone wears or does we are all equal! Shame not all children are taught the same! As I have always said, a rich heart can and often does live under a poor coat!

[thebigmummabear]

My children have plenty of time making memories. They go on plenty of day trips, holidays etc we spend time as a family doing simple things like having pizza in our pjs, making cakes and making mud castles in the garden! Just because my children wear expensive clothes it doesn't make me any different to anyone else!

[lanbro]

I have 2 dds, 4 & 2. They mainly wear cheap leggings and tshirt. They wear loads of hand me downs. They are clean and tidy most of the time but if they get mucky it doesn't matter. They are polite and we'll behaved most of the time and are a great reflection of us.

Unless you're the Beckham family it is absolute madness to buy expensive clothes for dcs. More money than sense quite frankly!

[NapQueen]

Gosh at 3 they surely just need something practical and comfortable with enough whimsy to make it worth buying. Dd and DS are all mainly H&m and Primark. Washes fine, last longer than it is required to. Interesting colors and prints etc.

Spending that sort of money on a not special occasion outfit is foolish.

[Angel64391]

I can sympathise. Im quite particular about the way I dress and where I shop and like to wear nice clothes and am the same about my DS. When he was born, people used to give him all sorts of clothes. Some I liked, some I couldn't stand. It used to upset me when my DM would babysit for me to work nights and I'd come home to him in an outfit I didn't like! (Petty I know!!)

Anyway over the years I've had less time to shop for him, financial circumstances have changed added to the fact that DS is now 'old enough' (4) to choose his own outfits so I've just resigned to the fact that I won't get my own way, it's not really the be all and end all anyway.

If you have the time and money you should be able to dress your child as you see fit regardless of others opinions - just enjoy it while you can

[CremeBrulee]

I like dressing my kids in nice comfortable clothes that wash well and are made from good quality fabrics.

Shops I like are Polarn O Pyret and Gymboree (US p&p is high but clothes very good value in the sale), I buy most of DS's clothes here.

When DD was tiny, I loved Petit Bateau, Catimini, Marese and Jean Bourget. We had a children's boutique locally that stocked these brands and had stonking sales (70-80% off) at the end of the season. I notice that these kind of shops seem to have disappeared from the high street since the supermarkets started selling clothes.

That was a long time ago though, she's a teenager now so it's all Primark, Dorothy Perkins and Jack Wills now.

[CodyKing]

It's natural for children to seek like minded friends - this child was always pleasent but her dress sense makes her stand out (and still does as a teen) All the girls dress in ripped jeans leggings checked shirts converse baggy tshirts that they generally shop for themselves - this girl hasn't developed a sense of style and her mom still in sits on Mary Janes and knee length skirts - her outfits are much more expensive -
My children are very accepting DD will often stick up for this girl when she's bullied - or teased about her dress - but that doesn't mean they are overly friendly.
It's tough in school -I don't understand why you would want you child to be so different from their peers and not shine through personality rather than dress

[MaQueen]

Hmm...well, I consider myself a bit of a perfectionist, who liked to dress her DDs very nicely in pretty stuff from Monsoon, Boden and John Lewis. But their clothes were also comfy and quite practical, too.

But you sound unhealthily obsessive. Your DD is not a doll.

[MaQueen]

Have to agree with you codyking our DDs are at secondary school now, and they and their friends live and die in Converse/Uggs, skinny jeans, stripped Ts and flannel shirts. Nary a hint of prettiness...

If it's not from Jack Wills or Abercrombie & Fitch, they're not interested.

You can definitely tell which girls are still 'dressed by Mummy'

[AnnaMarlowe]

I'm reading all this "buy the best you can afford" stuff with a smile.

I have a six figure income and my (long awaited) DC spent most of their baby and toddler tears dressed out of Tesco or George.

I have twins so none of the clothes are going to be handed down (which might be an argument for buying better quality) so they only needed to last the 3 months they'll fit them. With two non-sleeping babies my priorities were machine wash, tumble dry and easy to iron.

Someone gave DD a beautiful smocked dress, she wore it once after I discovered what a nightmare it was to iron.

My DD has been expressing very strong opinions about her clothes since she could speak so clothes shopping is an exercise in negotiation and patience.

I spend money on two things only: shoes and coats. Properly fitted shoes from an independent children's shoe shop and properly waterproof and warm coats for the winter.

I buy expensive, quality pieces for myself but then I'll be wearing them for years.

My DC's clothes will be in the charity bag by the end of the season.

They always look gorgeous, by the way.

[Whistlejackets]

Have you looked in Petit Bateau or independant shops like Igloo or Trotters. I think John Lewis and Boden's little girls' dresses are better value though - comfortable and pretty but wash well.

[TiredOfSleep]

Could you link to the sort of thing you like? Someone might have a good idea if somewhere you haven't tried.

[Pritti7]

I think I have been misunderstood here. I don't want to spend a lot of money which is why I am stressing over this. I studied marketing and have worked enough to know that most times what we pay for is the brand and not the product. My friend worked for a company that made a product for £50 and the customer paid £800 for it, because the company is very big and several people were making money of the sale.

If the market forces hadn't inflated kids clothing prices so much, I would say for me £25 on a dress is sort of acceptable for a decent quality natural fabric (hate polyester) with a decent nice design. But most stuff i see that I don't mind spending, looks like no thought has gone into making it, its just there for the sake of it. I guess this is why DH says I am unreasonable because I want the world but don't want to spend a lot.

CodyKing I agree its not good to stand out but I don't want DD to look overdressed, just something subdued and elegant.

mumgointhroughtorture what city are these boutiques in, I would love to visit them, can ou get me any details please. Not at all keen on peppa pigs etc clothes. Good suggestion about contributing, will ask DH how we can suggest that.

SpiritedLondon culdn't agree with you more. but i am not good at putting things together. Surprisingly, DH does a much better job at dressing his daughter from stores like new look next etc and it takes him no more than 45 minutes. may be i should let DH pick things for DD and return the ones I don't like.

londonmummy1966 thank you for the suggestions, i can't sew. was it easy to learn?

KissMyArse Agree agree!! and I do that too, my dad started saving for me when i was born and i have already started for DD.

RhiWrites I agree with you. I just feel that quality of clothes has deteriorated over the years. I would say 8-9 years ago when I bought clothes from brands like mango, topshop etc., they lasted for a while. Quality is not the same anymore and that is what frustrates me.

thebigmummabear i am with ya! i want to dress DD well in traditional clothes that look nice on little girls.

There are parents who will spend lots on kids and other parents who will not agree with it, but i think its a personal choice and must be respected. Probably this is not down to the desire to splash money, instead to want a certain quality/design, which nowadays unfortunately is not available at the prices we would like to see them at.

[RubbleBubble00]

Dress making classes. You can run up your own stuff.

[thebigmummabear]

codyking and maqueen I think your attitude is nasty. Talking about a child the way you do and saying things such as "you can tell who is still dressed by mummy." You are the ones that seem more hung up on what clothes kids wear then I do. I wouldn't judge any mother or child for what they wear! I just have my own preference that I like to dress my own children in. Lets hope my dd decides to wear ripped jeans by the time they are a teenager for fear of not making friends! Give me a break! What a shallow comment! I will instill in my children that they shall wear what they damned well what regardless of what anyone thinks! Yes even me! If my child wanted to wear a tracksuit and trainers as long as it was appropriate for the occasion then I wouldn't care. At the moment they are young enough to not have an opinion so I choose, no big deal.

[MaQueen]

Nasty? Really?

In my experience older children and teens do tend to wear, pretty much, what they please...and that generally tends to be exactly what their friends are wearing.

At that age they much prefer to conform. What they wear denotes their 'belonging' etc.

I pretty much stopped policing what my DDs wear a couple of years ago. So long as it's clean and fairly appropriate to the occasion at hand, that's fine by me

[londonmummy1966]

Clothes for little children are surprisingly easy to make as they don't have busts and waists etc to fit. You could look at your local adult education college to see if they offer a sewing class. Otherwise if you can do a basic straight line on a sewing machine there are loads of tutorials on the web - look at pinterest for inspiration. I am in London and there are quite a few people and companies that will run sewing party/classes where they show you how to make a garment.

[thebigmummabear]

Yes your previous post was nasty maqueen Your right at that age children probably do wear what they want. Maybe the child your talking of likes dressing that way? For someone who thinks you need to tell me my dd isn't a doll, you seem to have a lot of interest in the way others dress their children? It really is just clothes, like your rightly say, as long as its appropriate is it really any concern of yours?

[MaQueen]

If none of us showed any concern in what others did, MN would cease to exist overnight

But, as you will the bigmummabear. No offence was intended

[Kanga59]

Yabvvvu to give so many shits about this

[evelynj]

Sainsburys have some gorgeous stuff atm. Mostly I get (really good) hand me downs or buy a lot in charity shops, occasionally eBay 2nd hand if I'm looking for something specific. Other than this h&m do some lovely summer dresses for £2 99 & they look fab.

My other faves are joules & boden, some m&s and Asda.

I wouldn't spend more than £10 on an outfit for dd, (almost 3). Why don't you try budgeting for a number of outfits & finding cheaper put the difference away to see how you fare & the money can go on an experience ina year or 2

[Itsaplayonwords]

H&M are good for some nice but practical dresses that can be worn over leggings.

[Helloitsme88]

Stop over thinking. Gap- sign up to emails 35% off every other day practically. Why are you worrying so much?