AIBU or are CAMHS really REALLY SHIT

[Anonquestion]

I feel like I have been trapped in some sort of nightmare with them. My daughter is now 14 yrs old and was first seen by them 3 years ago when her behaviour started to severely deterioarate with the move to secondary school. We first did brief solution focused therapy with her, 6 sessions over about 5 months due to staff being off sick, on AL etc. It made absolutely no difference, if anything it made herore anxious. This was followed by 'family therapy', which she hated; a lot of pressure was put on us to have it filmed for staff training which made things worse. This was with another 2 members of staff, one was an ex-pschiatric nurse the other had a degree in psychology. We were then told there was nothing more they could do but send us on a parenting course run by the early intervention service, this was absolutely shite, really obvious stuff like 'don't hit your children', 'try not to lose your temper', stuff which we already knew. Me and my husband feel very strongly that our daughter's got ASD and she is now being seen by someone else (another ex psychiatric nurse) who is trying to get her seen by a doctor for a diagnosis and also maybe looking at giving her some anti-anxiety medication. The whole time we have been treated so badly, the first two years as though her behaviour was due to really bad parenting - we're not perfect but I really don't think we are that bad. All of her behaviour suggests to me she has aspergers, I have worked with other teenage girls who have it who are so similar to mine; coped well up to adolescence but now really struggling, meltdowns, routines extremely important, can't change plans, v inflexible thinking, reeling off sentences which are direct quotes from books, lack of eye contact, obsessions with different hobbies then dropping them suddenly etc. I just feel if anyone actually spent some time with her and got to know her it would have been pretty clear. Instead we are treated like Munchausen's parents for even suggesting she may have ASD, treated like we are terrible parents. I'm at my wit's end now and don't know what to do. I can't believe how awful our experience with CAMHS has been. Am I being unreasonable?

[Keremy]

Haven't read the whole thread but yanbu.

Five years ago while diagnosing another condition paediatrician told us he was convinced dc was also on the AS spectrum. We were at breaking point with dc not coping and went to the gp to all for cahms referral. Things at the time were REALLY bad. We got a camhs referral from gp then heard nothing afterwards, no first appointment nothing. That was a year ago...

[Catgotyourbrain]

OP if I had my time again and 1k to spare I would have gone private for a diagnosis.

After three years we have a diagnosis and a plan in place for DS1 with ADHD.

What I would Sonia research your local tertiary care centre that assesses ASD (death for neurodevelopmental dosorders) - find out the practitioners that lead the team. Then google those practitioners for which private clinics they operate out of - because they all consult privately. Book to see them via the private clinic. If you have a diagnosis for someone you would ultimately have seen via NHS they can't ignore it.

I know this is nasty and distasteful and a sorry state of affairs.

[Zeed]

keremy so sorry to hear how long you have had to wait. That's awful. They could have told you they'd received the referral!

[Zeed]

Allegra I am so sorry to hear about your daughter

[Zeed]

Thanks Cat. It is indeed distasteful! But I guess we have to partake in this defective system, or miss out entirely. Hence us attending useless parenting classes for example! Such a waste of time!!

[Zeed]

help I'm so sorry that sounds dreadful for your son and for you... why the fuck won't LA accept private diagnosis! What an unbelievable joke this system is. X

[Muggins68]

SHOWME
Thank you for the explanation

[commonsense12345]

Camhs are evil.

[SmileEachDay]

Zombie thread

[Starsandwishes]

OMG this has scared the crap out of me. My neice walked out of counselling with them as they kept blaming her parents she told them her parents were not to blamend and she refused to go back. I'm trying to get help with me 7 year old as I think she may have odd. I have always been so so scared that it could be turned on to me and I would then have ss in our lives.maybe I won't bother

[Mumblebeebee]

We are going through CAMHS at the moment for severe anxiety whilst awaiting an appointment to 'be assessed for the waiting list'. We are not even on a waiting list yet.

I bought a book called Aspien Girl. It wasn't what I thought I'd ordered, but it turned out to be excellent.

It has a very detailed check list of about 8 + pages . All about girls on the spectrum.

I've found it so useful in being able to clarify why I know my daughter has ASD, and fight her corner with professionals.

Apparently these are under 'prescription books' at the library. If you borrow them there is no penalty for late return.

[thefairies]

I could have written Dalekbred's 2016 post almost word for word. It's 2021 & having found this thread due to googling 'parent blaming & CAHMS', it's shameful that in the intervening 4+ years, nothing seems to have changed! My teen daughter has been struggling for years with undiagnosed social & communication difficulties linked to autism but CAHMS seem woefully unknowledgeable, fixating on anxiety as the main rather than a secondary issue. She's now burned out & struggles to atend school & do even basic routines. There are so many appointments that I've had to give up my FT work & now struggle on a freelance income. CAHMS' response - oh yes, another parenting course!

[Wilkolampshade]

@AllegraWho been there. You have my sympathies.

[Wilkolampshade]

... ah but yes, Zombie thread...