AIBU or are CAMHS really REALLY SHIT

[Anonquestion]

I feel like I have been trapped in some sort of nightmare with them. My daughter is now 14 yrs old and was first seen by them 3 years ago when her behaviour started to severely deterioarate with the move to secondary school. We first did brief solution focused therapy with her, 6 sessions over about 5 months due to staff being off sick, on AL etc. It made absolutely no difference, if anything it made herore anxious. This was followed by 'family therapy', which she hated; a lot of pressure was put on us to have it filmed for staff training which made things worse. This was with another 2 members of staff, one was an ex-pschiatric nurse the other had a degree in psychology. We were then told there was nothing more they could do but send us on a parenting course run by the early intervention service, this was absolutely shite, really obvious stuff like 'don't hit your children', 'try not to lose your temper', stuff which we already knew. Me and my husband feel very strongly that our daughter's got ASD and she is now being seen by someone else (another ex psychiatric nurse) who is trying to get her seen by a doctor for a diagnosis and also maybe looking at giving her some anti-anxiety medication. The whole time we have been treated so badly, the first two years as though her behaviour was due to really bad parenting - we're not perfect but I really don't think we are that bad. All of her behaviour suggests to me she has aspergers, I have worked with other teenage girls who have it who are so similar to mine; coped well up to adolescence but now really struggling, meltdowns, routines extremely important, can't change plans, v inflexible thinking, reeling off sentences which are direct quotes from books, lack of eye contact, obsessions with different hobbies then dropping them suddenly etc. I just feel if anyone actually spent some time with her and got to know her it would have been pretty clear. Instead we are treated like Munchausen's parents for even suggesting she may have ASD, treated like we are terrible parents. I'm at my wit's end now and don't know what to do. I can't believe how awful our experience with CAMHS has been. Am I being unreasonable?

[Wilkolampshade]

... ah but yes, Zombie thread...

[Wilkolampshade]

@AllegraWho been there. You have my sympathies.

[thefairies]

I could have written Dalekbred's 2016 post almost word for word. It's 2021 & having found this thread due to googling 'parent blaming & CAHMS', it's shameful that in the intervening 4+ years, nothing seems to have changed! My teen daughter has been struggling for years with undiagnosed social & communication difficulties linked to autism but CAHMS seem woefully unknowledgeable, fixating on anxiety as the main rather than a secondary issue. She's now burned out & struggles to atend school & do even basic routines. There are so many appointments that I've had to give up my FT work & now struggle on a freelance income. CAHMS' response - oh yes, another parenting course!

[Mumblebeebee]

We are going through CAMHS at the moment for severe anxiety whilst awaiting an appointment to 'be assessed for the waiting list'. We are not even on a waiting list yet.

I bought a book called Aspien Girl. It wasn't what I thought I'd ordered, but it turned out to be excellent.

It has a very detailed check list of about 8 + pages . All about girls on the spectrum.

I've found it so useful in being able to clarify why I know my daughter has ASD, and fight her corner with professionals.

Apparently these are under 'prescription books' at the library. If you borrow them there is no penalty for late return.

[Starsandwishes]

OMG this has scared the crap out of me. My neice walked out of counselling with them as they kept blaming her parents she told them her parents were not to blamend and she refused to go back. I'm trying to get help with me 7 year old as I think she may have odd. I have always been so so scared that it could be turned on to me and I would then have ss in our lives.maybe I won't bother

[SmileEachDay]

Zombie thread

[commonsense12345]

Camhs are evil.

[Muggins68]

SHOWME
Thank you for the explanation

[Zeed]

help I'm so sorry that sounds dreadful for your son and for you... why the fuck won't LA accept private diagnosis! What an unbelievable joke this system is. X

[Zeed]

Thanks Cat. It is indeed distasteful! But I guess we have to partake in this defective system, or miss out entirely. Hence us attending useless parenting classes for example! Such a waste of time!!

[Zeed]

Allegra I am so sorry to hear about your daughter

[Zeed]

keremy so sorry to hear how long you have had to wait. That's awful. They could have told you they'd received the referral!

[Catgotyourbrain]

OP if I had my time again and 1k to spare I would have gone private for a diagnosis.

After three years we have a diagnosis and a plan in place for DS1 with ADHD.

What I would Sonia research your local tertiary care centre that assesses ASD (death for neurodevelopmental dosorders) - find out the practitioners that lead the team. Then google those practitioners for which private clinics they operate out of - because they all consult privately. Book to see them via the private clinic. If you have a diagnosis for someone you would ultimately have seen via NHS they can't ignore it.

I know this is nasty and distasteful and a sorry state of affairs.

[Keremy]

Haven't read the whole thread but yanbu.

Five years ago while diagnosing another condition paediatrician told us he was convinced dc was also on the AS spectrum. We were at breaking point with dc not coping and went to the gp to all for cahms referral. Things at the time were REALLY bad. We got a camhs referral from gp then heard nothing afterwards, no first appointment nothing. That was a year ago...

[showmeislands]

I'm a clinical psychologist - traditionally, according to its theoretical orientation, family therapy can involve two therapists, or alternatively one therapist leading and a reflecting team of 2-4 therapists (who remain quiet during the session but contribute at the end sharing their observations).

However, in the (very busy but IMO pretty good) CAMHS I work in, we do family therapy with just one therapist per family. This seems to work well and obviously it means we can offer help to as many families as possible, which is the most important thing.

The only times I (occasionally) have another therapist in a session with me is if I have a trainee or assistant psychologist observing me. This happens only with the permission of the child/parent/family. With having six therapists in a room, I can only imagine either they were using a reflecting team model or some of those involved were in-training still (and therefore being involved as a learning opportunity).

[helpimitchy]

Oh, yes, and I have aspergers, so they run rings round me of course

[helpimitchy]

CAMHS nearly ruined ds1's life. I only managed to get him help in the end by sheer fluke, it was nerve wracking because he needed to be well enough to do his a levels. We were involved with CAMHS on and off for around 13 years and they were beyond awful. Positively harmful in fact.

Ds2 has had to leave his school and is due to start online schooling because we can't get him an NHS asd assessment and therefore help. He's under a private child psychiatrist who agrees that he has asd and he's on meds for acute anxiety and ocd. He's bullied and not coping at school and we're just not prepared to put him through the wringer any more. Mercifully, we are able to afford to access a bit of help, but the local authority won't accept a private diagnosis, so we're still coming up against a brick wall.

The mental health of our young people is being flushed down the toilet. It's sickening.

[Zeed]

Six therapists sounds way over the top! Have they explained why there's so many?? We had two and it eventually transpired that one of them was training the other, they didn't bother to tell us this when we started though. It was horrible... like being judged by a panel... I can't imagine what 6 would be like

[Zeed]

Jesus Christ dalek, that sounds eerily similar to what we experienced. I'm so sorry I felt v much we were judged on our circumstances too (don't want to out myself!) We got grilled about why we were 'seeking' a label, as if we wanted DD to be on the AS. I've never been so hurt and upset. It'd be unheard of to be accused of wanting your child to have, asthma or something. We were homestly treated like we had Munchaussen's by proxy or something. The first 3 years it made DD more anxious, way way more upset. I hope it gets better for you xx

[Muggins68]

YORKS
We have family therapy with CAMHS. There are six therapists in the room with us. It is such a waste of money! How can they justify this?
Six families could potentially be helped if they were given a therapist each.
Unfortunately in the time that we have seen them none of them have said anything helpful.
Please explain why the cost of six therapists can be justified

[Muggins68]

YORKS
We have family therapy with CAMHS. There are six therapists in the room with us. It is such a waste of money! How can they justify this?
Six families could potentially be helped if they were given a therapist each.
Unfortunately in the time that we have seen them none of them have said anything helpful.
Please explain why the cost of six therapists can be justified

[DalekBred]

It's not just you, it's like they go out of their way to both not find an issue and blame the parents for any negative behaviour. Never heard a good word about them, useless service, hellbent on doing as little work as possible.

To be honest, if we were responsible for our son's difficulties, we wouldn't have been so desperate to seek help for him in the first place. It was a shock to realise that despite being totally honest, our CAMHS therapist twisted information to fit their criteria and stuck doggedly to that even though it bore little relation to what we live with every day.

^^ those posts above.

and they might be underfunded but lack of money money doenst mean not listening to the concerns of parents. no excuse not to listen.

theymade my Dc more anxious, and I ended up telling them where they could go, DC is better off without their interference and judging.
they should be experienced and trained enough to tell the difference with bad parenting and a child with complex medical diagnosed mental health issues.

a single parent on income support, perfect target for judging the parent. single parent on IS because they've had to care for DC full time as DC has medical issues and cannot function in society. (ASD, ODD, ADHD, social anxiety and some physical problems). er, pretty obvious, but then the child is just a name on a piece of paper and as poster above said they don't have to live with the child daily and see what they need to deal with.

and a ''label'' isn't a badge of honour, its a necessity to help the child and to help others understand.

[Zeed]

Also we asked GP for ed psych and they flat-out refused to do anything - said they had nothing to do with this side of things!!

[Zeed]

whatsername I think clinical psychologists can diagnose ASD as well? We are due to see ed psych next term... if the people she's booked to see are off sick... they only come to the school one day per term! Apparently they too are very underfunded

[Whatsername17]

You need to get your daughter assessed by an educational psychologist for ASD. You can go through your gp or the schools senco. Camhs have gone down hill so badly. I'm a head of year and dread making a referral. Just trying to get them on the phone is a nightmare.