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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU in the 1970s

595 replies

cleaty · 12/05/2016 16:59

I grew up in the 1970s, the age of relaxed and free range parenting. If mumsnet had existed then, what do you think mums would have asked in AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
dentydown · 13/05/2016 19:25

Aibu to have worn a corduroy trouser suit to work today? I work as a senior administrator for the MOD, and wore my smart suit. My boss and his boss choked on their tea when they saw me. They warned me that they were in discussions whether to let women wear trousers to work and ideally it's a one piece or a skirt.
I was then allowed to wear them today, but had to promise to wear a dress or skirt in the future. (happened to my mum)

GarlicShake · 13/05/2016 19:27

Promise I'll stop posting from the future after this - I've just realised you're about 10 years older than me (ish), Grimble. You were the change! The women I made my role models were the ones with careers, their own cars & opinions, etc. It was a source of tremendous confusion to my parents - who were progressive, if mad and incompetent. I'm sure a majority of parents must have been ideologically stuck in the 50s & 60s at the time and still are.

LordBuckley · 13/05/2016 19:28

When women couldn't get credit or a mortgage in their own name without a male guarantor.

I got a mortgage in my own name without a male guarantor in 1973.

Ticktacktock · 13/05/2016 19:28

AIBU to think my art teacher was sexy to stick my ruler down my blouse and root about in my bra with it?

I was a confused 14 yr old in 1977.

Original poster
cleaty · 13/05/2016 19:30

Grimble - The 70s was a time of transition, and I am sure there were parents who brought their DCs up like most do today. But in general, there was much less concern about leaving DCs alone, squashing them in cars, and hitting them. My parents would never left us alone without a babysitter, but many parents did.

And women working were in a very different situation today. Legal recourse because of sexual harassment at work was in its infancy for example.

OP posts:
BungoWomble · 13/05/2016 19:31

AIBU to get my 13 yr old dd out of school to look after 5 yr old ds? It's only for a couple of days.

Ticktacktock · 13/05/2016 19:32

Another one. AIBU that my dad only gave me a miniature bottle of whisky to take to school for my cold? I asked for a quart bottle.

True. I will have been about 15, so 1978.

Original poster
cleaty · 13/05/2016 19:34

AIBU whenever we go to the cinema, to sit in the smoking section with my DCs even though they hate it?

(True for me. Parents might have been aware of the dangers of smoking around kids, but it was still common).

OP posts:
GarlicShake · 13/05/2016 19:37

The US Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed in 1974, LordB. Before then it was illegal for a lender to give women credit without a male guarantor.
Back in the UK, I had to threaten my mortgage lender with legal action in 1979!

grimbletart · 13/05/2016 19:39

Yes Garlic. I think I honestly was. It's we second wave feminists dontcha know.

We even had central heating when I was a little girl and basics like a shower and fridge. That was in the late 40s. Though I did stay at my Nan's once when Mum was in hospital and she did have ice on the inside of her windows…

I've just showed this thread to my younger daughter who happens to be visiting in case my memory was playing tricks.

She laughed and said really? Can recall a few of the things but not much. She said: "we weren't such special snowflakes like kids today Mum" (She's 43).

She offered this question: "Do you think my mum is a bad mother because she goes out to work?"

LurcioAgain · 13/05/2016 19:42

I know it's wikipedia, but the page on passive smoking gives dates for some of the papers which established the risk, and they broadly match my recollection of when research started getting into the newspapers - it was only in the early 1990s that the epidemiology really began to establish incontrovertibly the risks of passive smoking. I genuinely think my mother wouldn't have smoked in the house/ forced me to sit in the smoking sections of public transport if it had been common knowledge - she just thought I was being fussy about the smell.

Baconyum · 13/05/2016 19:52

"what strange fantasy lives you all led"

How unbelievably dismissive! I know you've apologised since but do you really think all the posters are making it up?!

In addition to the dv and ea I witnessed, drink driving was very common both my own father and friends parents (mostly fathers the women I knew rarely bothered getting licences if their husbands drove plus few families could afford 2 cars!)

Ditto the passive smoking, the idea was beginning to come through but even through to the late 80's the attitude from smokers was very much 'well they reckon everything's bad for you, my parents smoked around us and it did us no harm' while myself and other victims of passive smoking coughed and choked, had repeated chest ear and throat infections and developed asthma and worse around them!

GarlicShake · 13/05/2016 19:53

Ha, good question, Grimble The Younger! To me, your mum's a fantastic role model because she's proof you can have it all or, as Spare Rib points out, do it all Hmm I'm going to be a career mum after I leave school. I will earn loads, so I can pay for help with children and not be dependent on a man.

My dad would say your mum's a bad mother because she goes out to work. But my dad's a shit. My other friends' parents would be split down the middle, I think. I want to be strong and independent, and to teach my children to do it even better than me :)

LurcioAgain · 13/05/2016 19:58

One from the 11 year old me, circa 1976.

AIBU to think school's being really unfair making me do needlework (which I can already do) and rounders, rather than woodwork and cricket (which I love) just because I'm a girl?

glamorousgrandmother · 13/05/2016 20:01

You must have known some seriously weird parents in the 70's. Apart from seatbelts being a luxury, unknown in back seats, we were well aware of the dangers of smoking around children and drunk driving, I was 15 in 1970, everybody seemed to smoke and I never heard of smoking around children being frowned on until well into the 80s. It was my mother's smoking while she made the breakfast that put me off ever taking it up.

I don't know about children being left at home for any length of time but lots of children roamed around unsupervised and only went home for tea. My sister and I used to sit in the car with pop and crisps while my parents were in the pub - then some pubs started having a garden so we could sit outside.

Women were forbidden to wear trousers where I worked up until 1978.

I know someone who was a teacher and had to have her Dad stand as guarantor when she took out a mortgage in 1973.

Teachers definitely threw board rubbers across the room and my driving instructor used to slap my leg if I left my foot riding the clutch.

We always had ice inside the windows until my parents got central heating put in when I was 17. I left home the following year and lived in some real hovels - landlords didn't have to meet any standards back then.

I haven't personally experienced some of the things described here but they all sound very likely to me.

Original poster
cleaty · 13/05/2016 20:03

As for never leaving kids unsupervised, I remember the line of prams with babies in them outside the small supermarket.

Most people did not have central heating in the 40s

OP posts:
whitehandledkitchenknife · 13/05/2016 20:11

Omg. The body book. And ice on the inside of the windows.

Being made to count my dad's fag coupons to see if he had enough for something out of the Embassy catalogue.

It's all true Grimble.

GarlicShake · 13/05/2016 20:15

AIBU to give my Grandad 50p for 5 lines on the pools when he lets me pick the draws? I could win £10!

Smoothfoxdog · 13/05/2016 20:21

I left DH in charge of sick DD (3). She drank the entire bottle of Calpol he left on her bedside table. Was I unreasonable to force her to drink a pot of black coffee to make her sick and save me the cost of getting the doctor. She seems fine now and is fast asleep? (True, this was me and my mum was a nurse).

RuthyToothy · 13/05/2016 20:21

I know someone who was a teacher and had to have her Dad stand as guarantor when she took out a mortgage in 1973.

Yes, I have a friend (just turned 70) who, as an unmarried woman, was only allowed a mortgage with her father as guarantor.

Teachers definitely threw board rubbers across the room
Me and DH were just talking about this yesterday - the children looked at us in complete bafflement!

LordBuckley · 13/05/2016 20:23

The US Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed in 1974, LordB. Before then it was illegal for a lender to give women credit without a male guarantor.

Maybe in the US, but as far as I remember it was 1973 when I bought my first house in the UK, with a building society mortgage (I'm female).

GarlicShake · 13/05/2016 20:28

Bully for you. Shame we didn't all have accounts with the same lender.

Netflixandchill · 13/05/2016 20:29

LOL most of these things happened to me and I was born in the 90s Grin

Netflixandchill · 13/05/2016 20:31

AIBU to keep letting my kids play in the outbuilding that contains asbestos if it keeps them quiet?

DeclutterQueen · 13/05/2016 20:34

AIBU when my DBIL and DSIL turn up to a family party with my DNiece (aged 6) and she seems to be coming down with something (maybe mumps), I make sure she sits outside the flat for the whole evening to make sure she doesn't infect any of my guests. After all putting her to bed in the room where people are leaving their coats would be inconvenient to the guests. *

  • Really happened. Thanks Auntie Doreen :-S