To ask if anyone honestly regrets DC2

[Minimalteserbunny]

I adore my DS in that exhausting but wonderful way
I had always wanted more than 1 child but I had a horrendous pregnancy god awful birth and then he ended up in special care for a week

Despite having awful PTSD/PND I still think I'd love another child??

I'm scared I'll regret it

I know it's taboo to say but does anyone honestly regret having another child

[raisedbyguineapigs]

I don't regret the second. We almost didn't have him, as the first one was such a hard baby we were never going to do it again. However, he was a very easy, happy baby. He was a handful as a toddler and still is now, whilst the older one is now as sensible as can be and no trouble. However, if I'd known how hard having children per se is, I'm not sure I'd have done it at all, but of course you don't know until you do it. I do know I would have regretted not having children if I had not known the reality of them, if that makes any sense at all...

[Misty9]

It makes perfect sense to me raisedby and is how I feel too.

[ktmummy1]

Bloody hard work. My two Dc are 2yrs 5 months apart. It's getting a bit easier now my Dd1 is 3yr 8 and ds1 is 15 months. some days are better than others. Don't regret it though but find it v hard. I think it will continue to get less demanding physically as they grow up.

[oobedobe]

No regrets, though DD2 was very hard to get, so ended up with a bigger gap, which drew out the years of dealing with little ones, at this point she is nearly 4 and I am so ready for her to go to school and stop with the toddler/pre-school stuff - 8 years of it is enough! She is a sweetheart though, calmer and easier to please than DD1.

They are great company for each other and playing better together all the time. One is easier than two in some ways (less nagging, less minding, less laundry), but I see my neighbour with one girl and her mum is always looking for a playmate for her and I would struggle to entertain one all the time (especially as DD1 is a major attention seeker and not great at playing alone).

[GirlOutNumbered]

My second is such a pain in the bum, hard work all the time, screamed all the time, argues and fights and his brother is the opposite. I often joke that if DC2 came first I wouldn't have had another one.

However, it's all absolutely worth it for the large amount of time they spend playing, laughing, joking (and fighting). It's fabulous for them to have each other.

[MrsDavies1985]

YANBU to ask the question at all. It's something I've thought long and hard about myself. Although I didn't suffer with PND I have had a 12 year battle with depression and a terrible episode when my DD was 2.

We have decided not to have more children. If you asked me a year ago if that was the wrong choice I would have hesitated to answer but now I can categorically say it is right for us.

However if there is always a part of you that will wonder "what if?" you should go for it. Now you know the signs you can ensure you have a wonderful support system around you to help you if you need it. Good luck xxxx

[PacificDogwod]

Minimalteser, I had DS4 just before my 44th birthday and while I would have liked to have children earlier than I did (was 36 when I had DS1), I don't feel so far that my age has been an issue - I have just turned 50, DS4 is 6 and in school.
I am well, I have never smoked, I drink little alcohol, I eat well, my weight is normal(isn), I am very active, I can well keep up with the kids. DH is younger than me and has more physical problems than I have - there's just no guarantees.

I totally agree with raisedbyguineapigs though: there is a much wider debate to be had about how the net gain/loss of having children impacts on women in particular . I think if I had not been able to have children I would have been devastated, but NOW with my brood I can see how my relationship, my career, developing my interests would have taken a much higher priority and I'd likely have a very different life if I were child free.

I love them all, I'd not be without them, but they have come at a price.

[SirRodneyEffing]

I have 3 DC, twins and a singleton with 4 years between them.

In some ways the singleton was harder work, even now rarely sleeps through the night. During the day time he is funny, kind and entertaining. At night, I often think if he was first, he would have been an only child.