No no to breastfeeding by private GP

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

Ok so last weekend I ended up with a bacterial infection, don't want to be too graphic but throat a mess, nose a mess etc. GP had no emergency appointments left, waited for Saturday in case it got better, out of hours and urgent care out of question cause of long waiting so ended up to a private Bupa GP for diagnoses and treatment. He prescribed antibiotics to which I asked if they are OK for breastfeeding. He asked the age of the baby, I said 18 months and he literally freaked out..."you can't do that hes a toddler". I've asked him what he means, this child is eating solids, I breastfeed for his comfort in the night etc to which he replied "give him a dummy then but not that..."
He was quite categorical, I got defensive - I should have been more assertive but I was feeling rough and I felt he caught me by surprise
I honestly didn't like his attitude as I didn't go there for pediatric or breastfeeding advice. I felt my own GP would have never ever said something like this! This chap was trying to impose his personal views on me in an odd way when clearly that wasn't his position to do so and till now I'm thinking of reporting this. Not sure though I want to cause him trouble, maybe I should just suck it up that certain professionals just don't agree with it over a certain age . But still isn't this a choice?
AIBU to feel a bit hurt by this reaction and WWYD?

[PacificDogwod]

private should be better and not worse than the NHS.

Hm. Yes. That is a common misperception IME.

Many drs in private practice work full-time for the NHS and only in their own time for their private practice and the main advantage in seeing them privately is a time factor, not that what they can offer is better.
Some doctors (IME mainly GPs) work only privately and can be less clued in to ongoing developments and best practice.

I am sticking to NHS care, but appreciate that may be because I am a. not ill often and don't have ongoing health needs and b. our local NHS care is good. Although the decor can be atrocious

[PacificDogwod]

WHO guidelines are for the whole world.

[SpeakNoWords]

The WHO guidelines are for everywhere, surely? The article on their website about the European region certainly repeats the same advice about exclusive bfeeding till 6 months and then alongside food up to or beyond 2 years old.

www.euro.who.int/en/health-topics/Life-stages/pages/news/news/2013/08/breastfeeding-mothers-need-peer-counselling

[ButtonsAndBows]

Refer him to the WHO guidelines - isn't it like age 5 minimum or something? It's been years since I was BFing but I had a dentist who was the same , saying it ruined the babies teeth. I just kept quiet and never went back but I wish I spoke up, because she also berated me for having them naturally (my dc - she had asked me!) and said it was disgusting and she was having twins with a CS just because of how disgusting she thought it was. I was young and dumb then but now I would be definataly doing something about it. Professionals should either keep opinions to themselves or actually keep up to date with research. If in doubt, keep your mouth shut (not you)

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

Yup in London

[bumbleymummy]

Ugh. How depressing. I agree with others - if you have the energy then definitely complain. I hope you're feeling better

[NameChange30]

Pacific I didn't say that private is better than NHS - I said that it should be. Big difference!

I would always stick with the NHS unless the waiting list was too long - but even then I would prefer to see someone who did both NHS and private practice.

[CakeAndChocolate]

Another I'm sorry that so many people feel the need to comment on your BFing your toddler. Sadly I'm not surprised as I had many looks when I was still BFing my DS at that age. I suggest next time someone says something you say rather loudly "Why are you so interested in my breasts?!" Hopefully that'll shut them up.

If you don't feel like you want to formally complain about the GP then you should write in with some feedback. I'm sure BUPA have a customer comments type thing and this GP seriously needs the feedback. Not only was he out of line he was factually incorrect and not up to date with guidelines.

[ppeatfruit]

Pacific I said it's better to complain to private medical companies because they can afford it.

Buttons That dentist should be struck off she sounds mad. God help her children

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

green thank you that is so lovely of you!! I might do that, I have to think what I want to do as I do worry if any implications I know it sounds stupid but I have that emotional side of me that doesn't want to fuck anyone up mainly professionally
It's amazing to know though that that's not the norm and I want to believe that he'll get mature enough with time to control what he's saying .. I assume lack of experience doesn't help ...

[NameChange30]

I mean this nicely, OP, but you need to get a grip about the consequences. He is not going to get sacked because he made a negative comment about breastfeeding to ONE patient!

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

another thinking about it and the way he said it, I doubt it was only me . He did present it in an extremely arrogant manner , I doubt I'm the only one with bad experience

Other than that you re right, I do have the 'what if' side of me unfortunately I'm trying hard to get rid of..

[SpeakNoWords]

If no one ever complains, then this doctor will miss opportunities to learn and improve his practice. You are giving him the opportunity to learn and improve by giving him feedback, which IMO is a good thing!

[PacificDogwod]

Of course nothing dreadful will happen to him, wether you formally complain or simply give feedback informally. It is entirely up to you what you want to do or can do, but you'd have every right to point out that his advice was wrong and upsetting to you. End of. It is then up to BUPA and the doctor in question what happens from there.

Sadly it's still all too common to get comments about BFing, and more so when it's a baby that's no longer a newborn .

You crack on, you are doing a great job, you and your DD are happy with your feeding choices, anybody else's opinions is irrelevant to that.

[RedToothBrush]

^Why is him being private even more of a reason to complain?
Genuine question.^

Effectively less regulation / accountability in private sector. Mainly due to NICE not being relevant

It needs to be held more to account.

Complaints really are the only way.

[PacificDogwod]

Yes, you are right, RedToothBrush.
I suppose my expectations on the private sector are rather low

[NameChange30]

Of course it's highly likely that he treats other patients the same way. They might not all complain about him, although it would be good if they did. If no one ever complains then he will never be required to change!

I doubt very much that it's a sackable offence, at the worst (if there have been other complaints) he might get a disciplinary, but that would be his fault for being a bad doctor, not yours for pointing it out!

[hopelesslydevotedtoGU]

I would raise this as a local complaint (and I am a doctor). Of course he can have his personal opinion, but that isn't relevant when you are consulting him as a doctor. As a doctor he should give you relevant advice based on his own professional knowledge and sources of expert advice, and that isn't what he has done here.

Lots of doctors won't know anything about breastfeeding (I didn't before I breastfed myself, it isn't really covered in medical education), so this is a good learning opportunity for him.

I would write to the medical centre in which you saw him saying you wish to make a complaint to avoid others facing the same reaction, and just be factual and calm in your letter. Hopefully he will reflect on this, or at the very least say less next time!

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

Yes you're all right !!

[RedToothBrush]

The private sector MARKETS itself as being 'better'.

Thus if its not, it potentially falls under a whole bunch of other rules. Like advertising rules...

And of course its probably bad publicity to have someone shouting on MN that BUPA employ male staff who are not breastfeeding friendly. The best way to deal with that, and potentially attract more customer would be for them to do what....?

There are other private health care companies available after all.

[CloneMeNow]

you don't need to BF your toddler

Well - you don't need to BF your baby in a developed country either. But many mothers choose to because they believe in the research-backed increased health benefits. Others choose to because it suits them and their baby to do so. The same two reasons apply to toddlers.

A doctor may have all sorts of personal opinions, all of which they are entitled to hold. Your doctor might be racist, sexist, disablist and anti-BF. I am sure that there are many doctors that are at least some of those things (since all are sadly rife in our society). But as a professional person bound by a code of ethics and by legal conditions, a doctor is not entitled to express those opinions to a patient in the workplace.

I think it would be a good thing if you reported him (to who? His practice? The BMA?) You don't have to though if it will stress you to do it. He is undoubtedly in the wrong, not just morally but professionally, and perhaps legally (I am not a lawyer).

[SnoozeButtonAbuser]

Complain!! He's a doctor, he needs to be reminded that his advice should be based on medical training, not his gut feeling about something he knows fuck all about. He should be aware of the WHO guidelines as well. Also, very seriously, he failed to give you appropriate medical advice that you asked for - you needed to know if they were safe for bfing. He refused you that info on the basis of his stupid personal hang up - that's outrageous. He needs to be pulled up on it because he needs to change. Report to BUPA and the ombudsman.

[squizita]

Well yes candy fair comment. He's entitled to his views, as are we all, but.
Thinking what you like is one thing. Saying what you like is very much another

Especially in a formal workplace setting when you have duty of care, and have sworn an oath.

[Booboostwo]

Please take up a formal complaint with BUPA.

Asking the age of the breastfed baby/child is a medically relevant question as there is a worry that medication might pass from the milk to the bay/child, but the rest of the discussion was unethical.

I think you should complain on two grounds:

• firstly he appeared unaware of WHO guidelines on breastfeeding and gave you the wrong medical advice to stop breastfeeding
  
• secondly he expressed his judgement of your parenting choices based on personal beliefs which were both irrelevant to your care and contrary to medical recommendations.

[ppeatfruit]

Also there is evidence that breast feeding as well as being good for the baby acts as preventative for breast cancer for the mother. The longer the better apparently.